No Christmas dinner

[thelifeoofme]

IM NOT COOKING Christmas dinner. I have twins & a 6 year old. There's no way im doing it. I've bought party food, pizzas, pigs in blankets, picky bits & I'll lay a spread on the table. We don't have a dining table either so it'll be a pick n mix - I've been called all sorts for this but I am SICK of spending Christmas Day in the kitchen when I should be with those kids.

Am I wrong or right? An awful mother?

Am I depriving my children of a Christmas dinner & that's whole dinner experience?

The whole point of Christmas Dinner is that it should be a treat. I heard the chef Ken Hom on the radio yesterday and he makes belly of pork which he can make in advance and then freeze. I'm not suggesting you do that, only that everyone should be able to cook what they like (or not cook at all) on Christmas Day.

An extra special breakfast with croissants, scrambled eggs etc seems a good plan. Then you'll all be ready to enjoy playing together for the rest of the day. I think your plan is good and you shouldn't feel constrained by what other family members think you should do.

People giving you tips for preparing a roast the day before are kind of missing the point here, which is that you can have whatever you bloody well want in your own home on Christmas day. It's not compulsory to have a roast. If you prefer a party-food type of buffet, have that FFS; it's none of anyone else's business.

The exciting part for kids is having something that feels different to their usual dinner, so I'm guessing a party food buffet they can help themselves to would definitely fulfil that brief.

When I was a kid I really liked the whole Christmas dinner thing, but plenty of kids aren't remotely bothered about it. My brother's kids hate it, and would 100% rather pick bits and pieces from a spread on the table.

I would also add that 'just prep it all the day before' isn't practical for everyone. Not everyone has Christmas Eve free to spend on getting everything ready, or the kitchen space to have everything prepped for Christmas dinner while also sorting out normal meals etc on Christmas Eve. And lots of people have other stuff to do on CHristmas Eve with kids or seeing family etc.

Go for it!

I wish I'd thought of it when mine were little, rather than knocking myself out cooking a turkey the size of Christopher Biggins and 53 different types of vegetables . . .

It sounds lovely, TBH - enjoy your relaxed Christmas.

Yes! I hate the 'just chuck/sling/whizz' stuff, there's no disguising it's still a task to do.

Op - you've included pigs in blankets on your list, therefore YANBU. It's no-one's business but your own, I bet the kids love it.

My kids love a roast so would be disappointed so I wouldn’t not do one but if they aren’t bothered then cook what you like

The family are getting fed and spending time together, that's what holidays are about. Tell anyone who criticises to sod off.

Fucks sake..
what’s the drama for….it’s just a chicken and veg dinner….don’t you cook normally?🙄… you feed your kids whatever you want ….it won’t hurt to eat shite for one day

We don't have a traditional roast on Christmas Day and my kids are mostly teenagers now. We have steak pie usually, with whatever else we fancy. We go to Mass in the morning and then the rest of the day is very relaxed and lazy.

We are having a turkey today, with some (but not all) of the usual trimmings, to celebrate us all being back together for the holidays. If my kids didn't like turkey, then it would be something else.

There is no correct way to celebrate, and celebrating at all is not compulsory. If you don't like what everyone else does, then do what you do actually like. Some people will get very angry about it, as if a bloody fairy dies every time s Brussels sprout is rejected, but some people will get angry about anything. Let them.

But…. You are having Christmas dinner. Just not the traditional Christmas dinner.

My DDs used not enjoy traditional Christmas dinner when they were younger.
They would pick at a few bits they liked and scramble back to play with their toys as soon as they could. They considered eating Christmas dinner a chore, just something to do to keep mom happy.
They would have MUCH prefer me sitting on floor playing with them instead of working away in the kitchen.
So I think you are definitely doing the right thing.

I continued to make it because myself and DH enjoy it.

We always had Christmas dinner Christmas eve growing up so that our parents could play with us, Christmas day food was turkey sandwiches and 'boxing day buffet' always worked well. Now we are all grown up we still all go to my parents Christmas eve with our families for a Christmas dinner. Christmas day can then be spent with husband/wife's families or however we wish

YANBU Do what you like, but your partner should be doing it with you.

Using the term picky bits however..

My family. They think I should have a traditional dinner

Tell them they are welcome to pay for, and cook the traditional dinner then.

Sounds 100% brilliant, go for it @thelifeoofme And of COURSE you're not a shit mum. For a few years when my kids were maybe 8 to 13, I did Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve, because I was sick of spending Christmas day in the kitchen. EVERYONE was happy with it. Have a lovely day!

Yes, there are people who feel they can comment and judge other peoples lives and choices. My father is one of those. Its extremely annoying and selfworthdestroying. Those of you who have never experienced this and judge OP for being judged and commented on- just keep those comments to yourself if you cant be understanding.

I hate roast dinners and sprouts.

I'd much rather have your Christmas dinner, OP. Christmas should be about a treat - food you actually like eating.

Anyone who thinks you should have a traditional Christmas dinner can bloody well come round and cook it themselves... whilst you play with your kids and feast on your party food. :)

Your Christmas spread this year sounds like the start of a new family tradition! :)

It's mainly down to prep. The only bit you're chained to the kitchen for is the basting before taking the meat out. I've never missed my kids opening amd playing with their toys and ive done tjis on my own for years.
But Christmas is holiday time for all the family and if you get get up doing the full turkey dinner then do what suits you. As the kids say, you do you.

I hate roast dinners and sprouts.

DO NOT DISRESPECT THE SPROUTS!!!

@BigglyBee

Some people will get very angry about it, as if a bloody fairy dies every time a Brussels sprout is rejected, but some people will get angry about anything. Let them.

😂

I find that hilarious, but also, I am going to eat EVERY Brussels sprout on my plate this year............Just in case.

We've done similar before when it's just us and the kids - call it a hotel buffet and everyone chooses a couple of things that they love to be included. The kids much prefer it to standard roast.

Some people (looking at my DPs) would disapprove at it's not the "done" thing but as long as everyone present is happy then the haters can be safely ignored.

My DM hates sprouts but forces them down at Christmas because tradition. Such an odd way to live!

Good thinking.

Take no risks with fairies.

A bit like me with carrots.

I hate the buggers, but I like the colour on my plate.

Some people will get very angry about it, as if a bloody fairy dies every time a Brussels sprout is rejected, but some people will get angry about anything. Let them

This made me chuckle! I agree. Let them get furious about it- they're only raising their own blood pressure and flooding themselves with cortisol which is only harming them. I just laugh at them, because its rather bemusing.

My father is forced to eat the Ceremonial Sprout every year, by my mother. Very odd.

I love a sprout and I grow my own. I planted 45 sprout plants this year, just in case I ran out.!

The very best Christmas dinner I ever had was fish and chips (with sprouts, because I will eat sprouts with anything!). We had a very traumatic bereavement 2 weeks before and were feeling very raw and wounded, but there was something really joyous and healing about that dinner.

I have no opinion on it either. Some people do. Just as my opinion is from reading ops posts they do seem rather angry. And that’s my opinion.

As the saying goes, you do you and I will do me…