No Christmas dinner

[thelifeoofme]

IM NOT COOKING Christmas dinner. I have twins & a 6 year old. There's no way im doing it. I've bought party food, pizzas, pigs in blankets, picky bits & I'll lay a spread on the table. We don't have a dining table either so it'll be a pick n mix - I've been called all sorts for this but I am SICK of spending Christmas Day in the kitchen when I should be with those kids.

Am I wrong or right? An awful mother?

Am I depriving my children of a Christmas dinner & that's whole dinner experience?

Feel sorry for them because they’re not having a roast dinner which they don’t particularly enjoy and instead are having food that they do enjoy? Weird.

Absolutely suit yourself.

I have never cooked a turkey as I don't like it.

I did chicken when the children were small, then rib of beef or a leg of lamb.

I am doing lamb this year. I always ask the children what they would like to eat. One year it was steaks🤷🏻‍♀️

It has never occurred to me to discus or defend our food choices.

One year it was just the 4 of us so I let everyone choose what they wanted for Christmas lunch. DH and I had steak, DD1 had mussels in sauce (the kind from a pack) with garlic bread and DD2 had pizza. It was so easy and everyone was happy.

I’m always slightly amazed by the assumption of available fridge space on suggestions for prepping everything the night before.

I’d wager that many people do not have space for part cooked veg in bowls and trays and all that malarkey in their fridge - maybe at any time, but especially not at Christmas when fridge Jenga is a well practised art.

I’m not convinced that it’s that big an improvement spending hours prepping stuff on Christmas Eve either. I’d rather sort out the presents and sit and relax with a glass of wine before bed.

The only memories I have of Christmas dinner as a child are related to how bad my grandmother’s cooking was. We’re talking putting the sprouts on with the Turkey levels of bad.

It's your Christmas, do what makes you and your kids happy what you choose to eat is your Christmas Dinner, but I do disagree that you will spend less time in the kitchen.

I think it’s really nice to have a tradition. I also think it’s quite psychologically important and it enhances your feelings of security and wellbeing. It’s why grown adults get a bit “but we always….” Around Christmas. What the tradition is isn’t really that important. I guess, as pp have said, their is some cultural glue in it. It’s quite nice seeing a huge pile of sprouts in Tesco in Christmas week and knowing what they are for behind the mere nutritional, but really, your “traditions” are what your family does. Some families always have croissants, some always have bacon sandwiches, some have a selection box. Some will have a big family meal on Christmas Eve, some will spend it alone. Loads of people have a film or a book they come back to year after year. Your tradition might be Iceland party food, or pizza or egg and chips or leftover takeaway, but there is something settling about the routine and sameness of it. That’s why people cling to turkey and Christmas pudding. It’s how it’s “always” been - meaning that’s how it was last year, and the year before. If your kids in years to come can answer the question “what do you do for Christmas with “we always….” Even if it’s “we always do something different” rather than “I dunno, nothing really, it’s just another day” then I think you are winning. I think you should have what you want, and then next year have what you want again. Make that your traditional.

You feel sorry for them on the basis they don’t get a school dinner style basic roast dinner on Christmas Day? That’s what you’re describing here.

And they’ve 364 days in the year when they can play with toys? Because playing with their brand new Christmas toys would be a dreadful waste of time when they could be enjoying a fairly ordinary dinner they’re not even keen on.

Sometimes I’m amazed at how people manage to squeeze weird judgementalism out of everything.

My parents spent most of the day cooking - often having words and then huge mountain of food no-one really wanted to finish - then they collapse exhausted rest of the day.

DH often went on holiday but prior to that remember his parents getting up really early to put huge joints in with so many left over they were all sick of them.

We wanted to spend time with the kids - ours do like roasts - but we do smaller joint just for that meal with little left overs - and as much pre-done as possible - so microwavable veg, pre done potatoes and parsnips then need to go in 20 minutes - as easy as possible. Not huge amounts of food - and not everything every time - we also do meal new year day.

Only person to comment is MIL because we don't have turkey - as frankly we don't think it's great - but as Dh says shes not here eating with is so does it matter. Plus IL do tend to take a dim view of DH cousins who do pub lunches with extended family rather than cook.

I think prioritizing time with kids is most important thing - if they aren't keen on the food and it's difficult and time consuming to do really why bother. Best bit of my Christmas childhood and bits I look back fondling on was the pre baking with Mum because I got to spend time with her.

DD is hosting Christmas and she decided early on that she would get as many short cuts as she could. Cue DH and his it's my way or the highway, I'm not a great pigs in blankets fan. There are two packs in the freezer but my husband doesn't think they'll be any good and has turned up with sausages and bacon for ME to make some. He also got a bit narky when he found out there was jarred cranberry sauce.

They are having a Christmas dinner - it just happens to be different from the meal you are having. There is no rule that says your Christmas dinner must be a roast.

I definitely remember big family roasts at Christmas, they were a big deal. We tend to eat ours late afternoon and have most of it preprepped. So roasts are half cooked in freezer, likewise red cabbage, yorkshires, gravy, pigs in blankets. Sticky toffee pudding made, no starters.

bacon and par baked rolls for breakfast, canapé type things for lunch.

Bar monitoring the timings of putting stuff in and out (tend to put Turkey in early doors and leave to rest) there isn’t a massive amount of actual cooking time.

And never do present opening unless everyone is there! No one should be missing that regardless of what is being eaten.

But essentially just do what you want.

This ❤️

They've actually only ever had two! Both times wasted it. Waste of time in my eyes

'Why do people throw and chuck food, I can't imagine the mess made by throwing a turkey crown into a bowl of chopped onion and orange.'

@TinFoilHatty

😂point taken, guess i was just trying to highlight how fast it is. Please edit all of the 'chucks' to place.' I was trying to show you don't have to do it on the day and people over think a roast dinner. It really isn't much effort, if you don't make it that. I don't understand the need to justify mot having one though either, people should just do what they want.

Do you like a traditional Turkey meal OP? I find it sad when people go on and on about only cooking what their DC will eat ... fine if you personally don't want a roast Turkey meal but I love it and would cook it just for myself if necessary .

Is there a rule against this? Sounds great. I want to come.

For the last few xmases it has been just us and we just have whatever we like. One year we had a massive cheeseboard for lunch and another we had beef wellington with mash and veg. Who cares what anyone else thinks just have what you fancy.

'Twas the angel who told Joseph that the Holy Spirit was the father of the baby - not Mary.

If she'd been "set aside" as Joseph originally intended, she'd have ended up being shunned by the entire community - if she was lucky! More likely stoned or burned to death, or on the streets.

She gave birth where she could - and a stable then wasn't the stable as we think of it. The family (including animals) lived in a single room. During the day the animals would be outside - when it got dark they'd be brought in. The human sleeping section was raised up so that cattle (or more likely a single cow), ass etc were corralled in the lower section. The warmth of the animals kept the family warm (though they would sleep on the flat roof in hot weather), and being indoors stopped them from being stolen.

Families sleeping in the same room as livestock for warmth and security was pretty standard worldwide until the middle ages - and in some areas continued well beyond this. Bedrooms are a comparatively modern phenomenon.

I personally LOVE a Christmas dinner & the whole experience but I always remember mum & dad being in the kitchen together shouting & screaming about the dinner whilst I was left to get on with it in the living room. I don't want to be that parent

Love this. We've been baking & have cookies to do tommorow with a ginger bread house to decorate. I'm not anti kitchen, i just can't expect the kids to help in the kitchen when they have presents and toys to open and play with x

@thelifeoofme no why?

Hats off to you! I go to a local Indian restaurant on Xmas day I love not cooking my oven is not being used for a whole 2 days and the thought of that is a bit exciting! (Wow how sad am I? 🤣)

The odd year that it’s been just me Dh and dd (17) instead of having a Christmas dinner we’ve had a nice cooked breakfast then in the evening a small buffet.Another year we had Indian and last year we had Turkish.
This year we have family round so doing Chicken and Gammon then a Cheese board in the evening.

We're going to Toby Cavery tonight and I'm doing a buffet tomorrow but buffets are the best 😝

Not had a Toby Cauvery for years, I’m now craving one!