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Christmas

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Original poster

No Christmas dinner

252 replies

thelifeoofme · 23/12/2022 08:44

IM NOT COOKING Christmas dinner. I have twins & a 6 year old. There's no way im doing it. I've bought party food, pizzas, pigs in blankets, picky bits & I'll lay a spread on the table. We don't have a dining table either so it'll be a pick n mix - I've been called all sorts for this but I am SICK of spending Christmas Day in the kitchen when I should be with those kids.

Am I wrong or right? An awful mother?

Am I depriving my children of a Christmas dinner & that's whole dinner experience?

OP posts:
ginggung · 23/12/2022 11:58

thelifeoofme · 23/12/2022 08:44

IM NOT COOKING Christmas dinner. I have twins & a 6 year old. There's no way im doing it. I've bought party food, pizzas, pigs in blankets, picky bits & I'll lay a spread on the table. We don't have a dining table either so it'll be a pick n mix - I've been called all sorts for this but I am SICK of spending Christmas Day in the kitchen when I should be with those kids.

Am I wrong or right? An awful mother?

Am I depriving my children of a Christmas dinner & that's whole dinner experience?

Kids will love this!! You've made the best call. X

Adviceneeded200 · 23/12/2022 11:58

I'm surprised kids talk about christmas dinner at school unless your kids made a big thing of it. By the time they go back Christmas Day is well gone. Presents might still be interesting but a roast dinner? I wouldn't think so unless your kids bring the subject up!

Monkey2001 · 23/12/2022 12:02

Of course it is fine to do whatever works for you and your family. Enjoy it!

UWhatNow · 23/12/2022 12:12

thelifeoofme · 23/12/2022 10:16

Do you honestly believe they'll be upset that everyone else has a roast when they don't like eating it anyway? It's like being upset that everyone else is drinking when you're t-total?

Show quote history

No of course not! Of course they won’t be upset and it won’t make a big difference to their lives as long as they’re fed and happy.

I was just making a wider point about the cultural aspects of a ‘traditional’ Christmas dinner - it’s in all the films, all the adverts and it’s what most families do - it’s just another part of the weird and whacky aspects of what makes up Christmas ‘traditions’. You said you don’t want to miss out on their present opening so I was just suggesting you could do the roast dinner on another day.

I’m a bit cynical and disbelieving that so many children ‘don’t like’ a roast dinner though. Really? Is that because they’re not used to them? What child wouldn’t eat a roast potato or a bit of roast chicken in gravy? That’s pretty basic!

ToDoListAddict · 23/12/2022 12:14

It's your Christmas- it's your choice
Your children will love it and you will have quality time with them. I think it's a lovely idea.
What other people think or say doesn't matter. Do your Christmas your way Smile

MadeofElephantStone · 23/12/2022 12:16

That sounds great OP, my mum used to do similar stuff when we were little and were some of our favourite dinners/memories. As an adult I don't follow traditional Christmas meals. Last year we had an Indian curry 'with all the trimmings' pakora, samosas, poppadoms etc. This year we're having burger's 'with all the trimmings' chips, onion rings, coleslaw, pickles etc. We eat what we like instead of slaving over a big meal that is usually overinflated in price at this time of year. All my food is made and ready to be cooked, will take less than half an hour all in and there will be little washing up at the end. Do Christmas your way and enjoy the time you have with your kids. I might do Italian food next year, pizza, pasta, antipasto 🤤 life's too short.

RGinaPhalange · 23/12/2022 12:17

OP go for it!!

one year my mum did this. Me, DS and DB were talking about it the other day. We had so much fun just being able to dip in and out of the kitchen for food and pick what we wanted. We could play with our toys and watch tv.

sounds a bit ungrateful but I can’t really remember any other Christmas dinner until I got a bit older but I always remember the fun buffet.

scottishnames · 23/12/2022 12:18

Have not read whole thread so please excuse me if I am repeating myself, but a lot of what is seen as 'traditional' Christmas food today is a relatively recent invention. Pigs in blankets, for example, were unknown until the late 1950s and were popularised by Delia Smith in the 1990s. Broccoli was not widely available until the supermarket era: 1960 - 1970s. Yorkshire puddings were traditionally served with roast beef, not poultry. The fashion of adding honey to parsnips and carrots is also modern (and to my mind makes them sickly). Cauliflower cheese was a meal in itself, not an accompaniment. Chicken, pork or goose were very often eaten rather than turkey, which was not cheaply mass-produced /factory farmed in the UK until after around 1950 etc etc etc.

Compared with today, many past celebrations were simple. For example, a typical 1950s Christmas dinner for a relatively prosperous family might be roast chicken (stuffed with breadcrumbs, herbs, onions and perhaps sausage meat), roast potatoes, boiled carrots and perhaps parsnips, a few boiled sprouts (no bacon added), real gravy, followed by Christmas pudding with fresh cream (a real luxury then) and perhaps a mince pie. Boxing day dinner would be even simpler: cold gammon (home-cooked), baked potatoes with butter and raw celery and perhaps home-made pickles, with trifle for pudding.

So, OP just tell your family that traditions are always changing and people have always invented new ways of celebrating Christmas. Your family don't still put meat in their mince pies or roast a boar's head, do they? (If they were really traditional, they would.) So eat and enjoy what you want on Christmas Day and I hope you have a lovely time with your children.

Tumbleweed101 · 23/12/2022 12:26

We did this when the children were little. My eldest two in particular still prefer buffet to hot dinner on Xmas day as that was how they experienced most Xmas days! Do more roasts now as host older family these days.

MrsRinaDecker · 23/12/2022 12:28

Sounds lovely OP.. definitely no law that you have to have a roast! Wishing you and your family a very merry Christmas, hope you have a great time watching your dc open their presents (and enjoy your pizza 😉)

FancyFanny · 23/12/2022 12:28

I can't imagine doing away with our Christmas dinner because it's what makes Christmas different to any other day of the year. It's the only time we sit round the table for such a long time with our family, and it's about the conversations, the silly cracker jokes, the annual good-humoured arguments about eating sprouts, and the tradition of it all.

I have never felt that cooking Christmas dinner took me away from my child- I've always managed to spend all morning opening presents together, having a little breakfast and then we all go and get dressed. Then I'd pop the turkey in while DH helps prep all the veg and DD would be playing with her new things and wandering in and out of the kitchen. Then the grandparents would arrive, I'd oopen a bottle of fizz and put out some mince pies and we'd swap gifts- I'd keep popping in and out between the kitchen and front room- as would DH while dd entertained the guests for a bit. It's never been me locked into the kitchen alone for hours- cooking a dinner doesn't actually take that long- it's just lots of keeping an eye on timings- you can still chat to kids and family while you cook- you can leave the kitchen and other people can enter the kitchen while it happens.

I've never felt that spending every second of a day next to my child was a good thing or even a nice thing really- it's about the whole atmosphere and routines of Christmas day that creates those memories!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 23/12/2022 12:29

scottishnames · 23/12/2022 12:18

Have not read whole thread so please excuse me if I am repeating myself, but a lot of what is seen as 'traditional' Christmas food today is a relatively recent invention. Pigs in blankets, for example, were unknown until the late 1950s and were popularised by Delia Smith in the 1990s. Broccoli was not widely available until the supermarket era: 1960 - 1970s. Yorkshire puddings were traditionally served with roast beef, not poultry. The fashion of adding honey to parsnips and carrots is also modern (and to my mind makes them sickly). Cauliflower cheese was a meal in itself, not an accompaniment. Chicken, pork or goose were very often eaten rather than turkey, which was not cheaply mass-produced /factory farmed in the UK until after around 1950 etc etc etc.

Compared with today, many past celebrations were simple. For example, a typical 1950s Christmas dinner for a relatively prosperous family might be roast chicken (stuffed with breadcrumbs, herbs, onions and perhaps sausage meat), roast potatoes, boiled carrots and perhaps parsnips, a few boiled sprouts (no bacon added), real gravy, followed by Christmas pudding with fresh cream (a real luxury then) and perhaps a mince pie. Boxing day dinner would be even simpler: cold gammon (home-cooked), baked potatoes with butter and raw celery and perhaps home-made pickles, with trifle for pudding.

So, OP just tell your family that traditions are always changing and people have always invented new ways of celebrating Christmas. Your family don't still put meat in their mince pies or roast a boar's head, do they? (If they were really traditional, they would.) So eat and enjoy what you want on Christmas Day and I hope you have a lovely time with your children.

In fairness, the 1950s was 70 years ago. So if we've done things that way for the last 70 years, I'd argue that it is tradition.

WaddleAway · 23/12/2022 12:32

UWhatNow · 23/12/2022 12:12

No of course not! Of course they won’t be upset and it won’t make a big difference to their lives as long as they’re fed and happy.

I was just making a wider point about the cultural aspects of a ‘traditional’ Christmas dinner - it’s in all the films, all the adverts and it’s what most families do - it’s just another part of the weird and whacky aspects of what makes up Christmas ‘traditions’. You said you don’t want to miss out on their present opening so I was just suggesting you could do the roast dinner on another day.

I’m a bit cynical and disbelieving that so many children ‘don’t like’ a roast dinner though. Really? Is that because they’re not used to them? What child wouldn’t eat a roast potato or a bit of roast chicken in gravy? That’s pretty basic!

Show quote history

My children have children from all different cultures in their classes at school, some don’t celebrate Christmas. So I hope none of them will be leaving out other children who haven’t eaten exactly the same thing on Christmas Day as them! Thankfully my children know that all families are different.
Mine quite like a roast dinner but, just like me, it’s not their favourite meal. So we don’t have it on Christmas Day. For me, Christmas is about eating the things you really enjoy, not eating what’s traditional. So this year we’re having patatas bravas, king prawns cooked in chilli and garlic, albondigas, padron peppers, croquetas and seafood paella.

Fuwari · 23/12/2022 12:36

@thelifeoofme
No we both cook and eat on Christmas Eve. As the DC grew they told me they loved doing it this way as it gave them something special to do on Christmas Eve. So we’d have the full dinner around 4. Then wind down, bath, new PJs. It meant I could spend all of Christmas Day with them, I was a lone parent (with no Christmas visitors) so I didn’t want to leave them to go and cook. Then Christmas Day we’d have leftovers, buffet type stuff, cake etc.

They’re adults now and I asked them one year if they wanted to change it and have the dinner on Christmas Day but they both said no (which I was pleased about!). But they do love their Christmas dinner! They’d be horrified if I said I wasn’t doing it one year 😁

sanityisamyth · 23/12/2022 12:37

This is why I go to a pub for lunch! No cooking, no washing up and I can pay DS some attention!

QOD · 23/12/2022 12:40

Christmas Day is sausage baguettes then nibbles all day then DD wants spag bol, DH fancies beans on toast and I'll eat anything in sight.
Boxing Day is roast turkey roast beef and alllllll the trimmings

scottishnames · 23/12/2022 12:43

Bernardette My point was is that so-called "tradition" is always changing, for a whole range of different reasons. It changed (one of many changes) in the 1950s, and it can change again now.

Fundays12 · 23/12/2022 12:44

CustardySergeant · 23/12/2022 11:25

Fundays12 "I do a nice polar breakfast with things like croissants, chocolate brioche rolls etc on Christ day."

A nice polar breakfast? 😕

I set the table up with elf things etc and all nice kids Christmas stuff. They absolutely love it.

justdoingmyduty · 23/12/2022 12:45

We haven't had a proper Christmas dinner at home for years! The only time we do is when we have Christmas Day at someone else's house, which has been twice in about 12 years!! I just can't be bothered with all the prep and drama involved. I don't to spend all day cooking just for half an hour eating.

For the last 6 year we have had Christmas Tree shaped chicken nuggets for on Christmas day. It started as a joke but we stuck with it! I'm pushing the boat out this year and we are going to have star shaped hash browns with them!

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 23/12/2022 12:46

If it's too much it's too much. We just do a plain roast, but DD does love it.

So peel potatoes, put them to boil, shove the chicken in. Prep the oil for the potatoes. Then hang out with DD while the potatoes boil, pop them in the oven and just need to remember to put the yorkies in 20 mins before. OH also cooks his own stuff so he can always keep an eye on things. It doesn't feel like that much effort but we're keeping easy and simple.

HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 23/12/2022 12:50

I think it sounds great, OP! Christmas roast dinner isn’t The Law, you should do whatever works for you and your family.

BigDaddio · 23/12/2022 12:55

Don't stress it ! - at that age I'm sure they don't give a hoot !

User434356 · 23/12/2022 12:55

So your kids have never had a roast dinner? Because that's all it is with a few extras that you can buy ready-made.

It takes no time at all. Turkey or chicken in the over, roast spuds later (you can even buy frozen ones) and some veg.

Xmas dinner is part of the day. They have another 364 days to play with their toys.

I feel sorry for them.

User434356 · 23/12/2022 12:58

Because the last 5/6 christmases I've missed them playing with toys, opening presents & just felt like I've hardly been in there with them

Just don't understand this OP.

You put the turkey in when you get up , more or less.
Then have a good 2-3 hours of play time before doing any veg.

Are you on your own?

Needmorelego · 23/12/2022 12:59

@User434356 but do you feel sorry for children who don't like a roast dinner and are being forced to eat one for the sake of tradition?