Why do people stress themselves out so much over food and guests?

[NoNamesLeft234678]

I just don't get it 🤷‍♀️

If you're not bothered about a massive turkey Christmas Dinner then don't have one.

If you don't want guests don't invite them/agree to them coming over.

If you do want guests then you shouldn't need to do a deep clean for them... if they don't accept you as you are they are not worth it.

If you're pregnant, stop doing things for other people!!

I'm now at a time in my life where anyone who's a guest in my house will be some one I love and am completely comfortable with. They'll take me as they find me. I'll be generous with food and drink, but depending on my mood and the time I have it could be lovingly handcooked or from Iceland and all will be well.

When I was younger and less sure of myself especially where inlaws were concerned I put far more energy into worrying about these things and sometimes my "guests" put a lot of energy into judging my efforts.

Because most people want others to see them as capable, organised and not messy.

Social conditioning

Because being a good host means thinking about every aspect of your guests experience. This doesn’t come naturally for some of us. We have to think through every single minute in advance and then still may struggle to read social cues during the event to make sure things are running smoothly.

I'd just prefer of people thought I was organised and sociable, that they were welcome and comfortable without it looking like they were putting me out. You know, pretend I'm on top of life and it's all cool.