If Santa only brings the stocking, why write a list? What do we say now?

[stillsleeptraining]

I read on here that it's a good idea to tell the kids that Santa only brings the stocking, so they're aware of their privilege and it's more equitable with kids who don't get much for Christmas.

What I can't get my head round is how this links to Santa's list. If you write a dream list to Santa and all you get is your stocking, then why bother!

Can anyone make the link for me?

As a child, I had a smallish stocking, that Santa seemed to amazingly pack soo much into and he also left a small pile of presents that wouldn't fit in, such as books and jigsaws etc.
We had one "main" present under the tree from my parents, plus others from family members.
I remember the excitement of writing a letter to Santa and putting it up the chimney ( there was a ledge just above the fireplace opening that we put it on - ( when the fire wasn't lit obvs!)) and we would come and check a bit later and it had gone and we knew a magical wind had whisked it to the North Pole to Santa.
We knew that the Santa list was just a list of ideas and we might not get everything we asked for however it was surprising how often we got the thing we wanted most.
I don't remember ever registering other children having different customs or expectations. I talked about what Santa might bring/had brought with friends at school but don't remember any puzzlement about all their presents coming from Santa or whatever. Maybe I was just a very gullible accepting child!

Amen @Wanderingowl

Never wrote a list as a child. Mine have never written one either. They do go through the Smyths catalogue with a pack of post-its! But they know that's to tell us and their grandparents etc what they want. We've never written to Father Christmas

Writing a list is a nice, traditional custom. Mine really enjoy writing them and sending them.

Mine know Santa doesn't necessarily bring everything on it (has done when the items have been super basic, like a glittery pen and a rainbow headband). He's also at liberty to pick something he thinks they'll like - a surprise is lovely.

My children have no family who gift them anything other than their father's parents who will give them £20 in cash after Xmas. That's it. So I provide the magic to get them as good a haul as I can manage. Zero privilege here - we are sadly financially struggling, but I pick things up across the year that are on sale, and I manage. They are supremely appreciative. Still believe in Santa, and that he brings most of the presents. I have also gotten them a few things that come from me. I love the magic of it all, especially because we are not wealthy that when they get more than they think I can afford, it adds to the belief in Santa. They have plenty of time to look back when they are older and realise it was me all along.
The gifts are often practical/educational/needed anyway, it's just nice to wrap them and see the extra joy when they open up their gifts.

Do what you like, OP. There's no right way.

Yeah our house is the same Santa brings stockings so they get to pick one big main thing off the list ie ipad etc from Santa and lots of the little things off the list for stockings and then they know mum buys all the rest of there requests. I have always done this because I don’t want them to have such high expectations of Santa that he brings big piles of all they ask for and then say one year we may not be in such a fortunate position to ever afford all they ask for and they question why Santa didn’t bring it etc. it works in our house

I know of wish we had done the he brings one present and the sticking. He brought most presents, but that included some things we bought and the rest we paid him for. We told them that we have him a budget and he decided what they deserved to get them billed us. This explained to them why my spiked nephew would get games consoles and loads of games etc and they didn't.

In our house, Santa is like Amazon. He provides and delivers the gifts which have been ordered and paid for by the parents.

I hadn’t really heard of stockings playing such a big role until I came on here. I’m not from the UK so maybe that’s why?? We only started hanging them up in the last couple of years, but more as a decoration.

Santa brings everything here and did when I was a child too. You never get everything you ask for.

I like the PP who said a rule around Santa was that he only brought toys, no electronics. I’ll remember that for when mine are older.

I completely agree with this! 😂

In our house Santa brings stockings plus any gifts that are in the hessian sack. All other gifts are us/family members. We also make sure that the sack includes gifts off the list.

I completely agree with this. In our house we love Christmas and love to see the Christmas magic come alive.

Our children write lists. They're never super long or wild and extravagant. If there's something I don't want them to have (ie: it's just crap or too expensive) then they won't be getting it. They know it's a list of suggestions and that Santa will choose a couple things from it to deliver on Christmas. This year my 4yr old asked for a purple bike and a scarf. That's not really too much to ask from us and they were both items that were needed.

My children believe the elves make the toys in Santa's workshop. I've never heard of anyone giving Santa a budget to work with or some of the other stories I've read on here.

Santa fills the stockings for everyone on the household. Not just the children. He also brings gifts for everyone. Usually 1-2 for each parent and 3-4 for each child. And much to the shock and horror of MN I assume, he usually brings the biggest and most expensive items. Christmas is about magic. So I will often downplay things like the bike or a large Lego set and say I can't get my child something because it's too expensive. They won't be expecting it when I tell them that, but somehow Santa usually finds a way to deliver it. Their faces on Christmas morning are priceless.

My 4yr old won't be sitting there on Christmas morning reflecting how much money and time and effort I spent on the day, so I'd rather see the pure joy on their faces. They can however see me slaving away in the kitchen making an amazing dinner and a few nice desserts for everyone, and they know I make our own Christmas crackers. I do know they appreciate that because they can SEE how hard I'm working to make it special for them. And by the time they get old enough to actually appreciate everything we've done for them to make Christmas special for them they will. I'd say probably 11-12+ and those memories will stick with them forever. 🤶🏼

We don't do list. DS (now 7) writes a letter every year to Santa and he asks for one thing he really wants. He doesn't always get exactly what he wants. Last year he wanted a lego Hogwarts castle and obviously we were not going to spend that amount of money. He got a smaller set that is part of the castle and was very happy. Luckily he hasn't asked for electronics yet and DH has most games console anyway.
DS's grandma (my MIL) does stocking for him that's just some chocolate coins and tangerine.
DS gets a lot of other presents from other people and he's fully aware of it. We have a lot of family and friends that buy things for him and we wanted to make sure he knows it!
This year is the first time he asked what mummy and daddy were getting him. So I just wrapped some stuff he needs like books and clothes 🙂

Very unpopular but we do Father Christmas brings all presents and when they write their letter they can ask for three things. It’s what I had as a child and something we’ve carried on. We don’t do stockings!

For a 4 year old it doesn't really matter how you do it, they will just be pleased with any presents. As they get a bit older, they start to have more awareness that gifts cost money and comparing with friends who might have recie ed gifts if different values. When they are 11 or 12 they realise you've bought them everything and (hopefully) start to express some gratitude.

One item on the list here - has to be light and nothing too complicated for the elves to make, so they have a chance to make something for everyone. You could make a wish list for you by getting the Smyths/Argos catalogue and having a cutting and glueing morning. Rules - They won’t get everything on the list. They should have some sort of ranking system. They are only allowed a certain amount of items on their lists.
Santa does stockings and one gift in out household, not for our benefit but for that kid at school who only got one present, that kid is just as good as mine who get plenty.

*our