If Santa only brings the stocking, why write a list? What do we say now?

[stillsleeptraining]

I read on here that it's a good idea to tell the kids that Santa only brings the stocking, so they're aware of their privilege and it's more equitable with kids who don't get much for Christmas.

What I can't get my head round is how this links to Santa's list. If you write a dream list to Santa and all you get is your stocking, then why bother!

Can anyone make the link for me?

We’re not. Just presents from us and sometimes DH’s parents under the tree. But we have three DC and their still small enough that they like little games and Lego sets etc. So there’s enough under there.

Sorry but in our house Santa has always brought everything 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Separating presents from Santa won’t make any difference re feeling privileged imo.
1- because the stockings can vary a hell of a lot anyway. Just think about the HUGE stockings you can buy vs the smaller ones.
2- they should see if they are privileged in many other ways, from holidays to birthdays etc…

As for making the list to Santa that he won’t bring but parents will?
You can’t make the link. And if you have a child a bit clued up, they.l soon cotton out about what’s going in.

*they’re, not their 🙄

We've never really done the list to Santa thing. They might write a list, but we don't say anything about sending it to Santa or anything. We don't tend to weave elaborate bullet proof stories about any of it. We just tend to vague about how anything works and leave it to their own imagination. So I think my youngest sees his list as to Santa, but he knows I needed to know as he talked me through it all. He's never asked a question about how that process relates to anything else.

Santa brings all the presents at our house, but the kids know we send money to Santa for him to make/buy them. So really they are from us and Santa. Also if they see anything they really want while we're in the shops with them, we buy it- package it up and send it to Santa to bring on Christmas day. It works for us.

Stocking and one gift from Santa. I don't like the everything from Santa model at all for various reasons, and think stocking and one gift is pretty much perfect.

We've always done lists for Christmas, and birthdays, but as a PP said, they are more of a wish list rather than an itemised order, and nobody expects to get everything on the list.
As a child, mine always started with 'A horse'. I never got one 😔

We've never done a list, so that makes it simple.

We always did stockings from FC in rooms , or actually just outside because ds3 found the idea of someone coming into the room a bit scary.Stockings have small games , a boring clothes item, lego, toiletries a book , smaller items form list , chocolate plus one of the bigger presents they ask for. Plenty of things to keep them occupied through the morning.

Under the tree will be presents from family , godparents etc plus another present from us, usually the thing on the list that FC hasn't brought If they had asked we would have said that FC lets parents know what was on the list that he hasn't managed to bring so we knew what to get . They never asked !

Different families have different agreements with Santa - he brings all presents/ stockings/ one present/ is the Magical Delivery Postie depending on what the parents agreed to. You sign up to your preferred agreement when your first baby is born. That’s how we explain it!

Santa likes options. So the cat will fit in the sticking regardless. I'll get a bigger stocking if necessary.

Also santa is known to swap presents between houses if you out grow stuff so he's been known to pop in the odd second hand present. Santa believes in recycling

All the gifts are from Santa, except presents given by extended family. BUT parents send the money to Santa and thats why different families get different amounts/items. So there is a budget, and the parents have paid.

It's fascinating to see what elaborate lies people come up with to tell their children.

I love Recycling Santa ❤️🎅 @SleepingStandingUp

It seems to have stuck a deep chord with you.

You used the word 'peadophile' not me. I'm sorry the vision shattered you have seen this practice for how morally and ethically messed up and what a safegarding nightmare it is and feel conflicted and defensive over the fact that you perpertraited such a 'wrong' message to young kids but that doesnt change the very obvious that even you yourself so clearly drew in your own mind too.

We just didn't really say anything. I think I wrote Santa on some labels and Mum and Dad on others.

The believed and that's all that mattered.

Growing up we made a list and Santa brought those things for us and they were left for us in a santa sack. This is how I'm doing it with my kids.
Presents from us and relatives/friends go under the tree.
We have never done stockings - Eastern scottish and stockings aren't really a thing here.

Forgot to add that under the tree will also include presents that the dc have bought/made for each other and us and grandparents etc .So we don't need to pad things out because under the tree is full .

Presents when they were little might be just a card they've made or a bar of chocolate or one year they made pom poms . Now they are older they have a budget. Its important that they understand that there is as much pleasure in giving as receiving and to be honest they loved the excitement of wrapping Grannys favourite soap or grandad's chocolate and writing the card and then giving them out on Xmas day and the secrecy of hiding presents from each other.

If they all come from Father Christmas who do they write thank you letters to ?

We send money to FC, and he brings stocking and presents. All the FC's we see at parties and fayres aren't aren't real FC, but work very closely with him and can pass on requests. So generally we have a no new toys from November on as all our money is going to the North Pole rule.
Family pressies are from the giver to the child, I don't get involved in when they arrive, when they can be opened etc, it's up to the giver.

We dont write list... I think its teaches terribly entitled/spoilt behavior to lead kids to 'expect' gifts and then tell them that they can dictate those gifts and obviously they will be upset/angry when they dont get as the wrongly assumed was their right to request, thats not how anything in life works though
Well, that's a weird way to interpret getting kids to tell yo u what they'd like. DS only put one item on his Santa list, I needed more ideas so he was told Santa likes to choose so write some other stuff yo u want (think he was trying ensure Santa buys the cat. He has). He knows he doesn't get it all. He kkows he doesn't get the oejs with really big prices on. Writing a lot doesn't conflate to halving terrible spoilt brats

The kids did a list for Santa and family.

Though we always told our kids that we had to pay for the Christmas presents. Santa gave one small present. His elves sorted the presents and he delivered the rest at the same time as he dropped his gift off.

The kids have always known we pay for them. We have never gone in for the ‘good kids get more or better’. We have always talked to them about how some families can’t afford alot. And we also make sure we buy some toys to donate to women’s hostels, which the kids have been involved in.

write a huge list for Santa and remind DC that Santa will choose just one or two small things off the list so it's a still a surprise! Parent(s) / guardian(s) may or may not look at getting the rest. Santa is magic and therefore knows what else the child(ren) will be getting!

I grew up with Santa bringing everything bar one present from parents. He buys from the list although I was told that the list is not binding, Santa works out what's needed as well as well as what's unnecessary. do the same for me dc.

For us, Santa brings all the presents but not all presents are from Santa.

I guess he's half Santa and half magical postman?

I even have separate paper and tags!

As I got older I think my parents told me they sent money to SC.