If Santa only brings the stocking, why write a list? What do we say now?

[stillsleeptraining]

I read on here that it's a good idea to tell the kids that Santa only brings the stocking, so they're aware of their privilege and it's more equitable with kids who don't get much for Christmas.

What I can't get my head round is how this links to Santa's list. If you write a dream list to Santa and all you get is your stocking, then why bother!

Can anyone make the link for me?

I don't understand how getting loads of presents from family & a stocking from Santa makes dc more aware of privilege?

Santa fills the stockings here, and includes at least one item from the letter he receives. After all, it is just a letter with some suggestions in it, not a list of demands!

My kids Santa lists are mainly small things, as they know the sorts of things Santa brings and so pitch the list a bit. There have been years when the lost suggested a phone and a laptop and an iPad and a Apple Watch and a and a and a and a, but Santa just sent what Santa wanted to send, and we all had fun opening the stockings!

The things that come up time and time again for my kids on their Santa lists are chocolate, particular brands of sweets, food items (one kid thinks it's funny to ask Santa for fruit/beans & cheese/tuna & Mayo etc etc), vague stuff like "a blue digger" (surprisingly hard to find!), sketching pencils etc etc.

Bikes and phones and laptops etc come from parents not Santa, and big things are linked to need rather than want.

In our house FC brings stockings (little silly gifts, practical stuff like pants & socks, chocolate & a satsuma) and the one thing they really want / ask for when they see him. Those are on the end of their beds when they wake up on Christmas morning.

Everything else is from us (or the relatives/friends who have bought it) & appears under the tree on Christmas morning (or they are given it when they see the person giving it if not Christmas Day). They tend to have another high value item from us & then several mid / small things too - this year they have 8 presents each on top of stockings & fc gift. I always worry it isn’t enough then on Christmas morning it’s a ridiculous pile which takes forever to get through!

Are parent buying extra fillers / pad out the pile because it's only gifts from Parents and Santa which are in the living room (grandparents and auntie gifts are at their houses to be collected later)

Under the tree is presents from parents, aunts, gps etc. The stocking & presents that don't fit in the stocking are next to the stocking by the fireplace. I use fairly big stockings as I don't bother buying small stuff that tends to be of little use & it's a waste of money for us.

In our house santa delivers the stocking and 1 gift from their list. List is 5 items and not normally expensive. Santa doesn't wrap stocking or santa present (this usually has a big bow on it). Presents from everyone not santa are wrapped. When questioned when they returned to school the reply is usually the smallest item that pops I'm their head not a long list of everything they received. Could just be my kids that have short term memory!

On the privilege thing…my dc know how lucky they are all year round. They go to a city school with a big mix of families & circumstances. They acknowledge their luck regularly, and do things to help those who have less. We don’t make a big point of it on Christmas Day.

For us the reason fc only brings stockings & 1 thing is that I want the credit & i want them to be grateful to the actual people who have thoughtfully chosen gifts for them.

I don’t think you need to worry too much about the internal logic of the Santa narrative. It’s just a story and children should be able to realise that from a fairly young age and enjoy playing along with it. I think some people take it all too far.

I don’t have children, but if I did I would probably go with the Santa delivers the stocking & 1 gift under the tree, the rest are from parents etc. , & he does not bring electronics.

My parents use to say that Santa delivered all the presents, but they had to pay for them, this stopped my brother and I asking for really expensive presents etc. Don’s remember writing lists, parents use to buy us what they thought we would like, and if we asked for something specific they would get it unless they thought not suitable, too expensive etc. My brother and I were born in the early/mid 70’s.

Ours still wrote a list to Santa, but they were aware it had to be things that fit in the stocking. Santa would often bring something related to the main gift from us. One of my most memorable christmases was when my son was young and Santa brought him an electronic Thomas the tank engine that fit on his big track we got. It is probably the best received gift he ever had. They got very creative with what they asked for over the years. They then had a general wish list that us and other family members can choose from.

Santa tells the parents which presents to get, obviously, can't believe you don't know this!!!

In our house, the stocking is from Santa. Everything else is from whoever is on the label, but Santa delivers everything.

My kids are past the age of believing now, but never questioned it.

Kids will just be happy to open the gifts whoever they think they are from, surely? It is parents who overthink it all!

Father Christmas fills the stocking with small things and leaves a few bigger presents next to it (from the letter) at our house. The how many will vary, this year there are 3 as they were all pretty cheap requests but too bulky for stocking. But I’m aiming for 2 as a guide.

Then there are presents to DD from us and other people too.

We have said he only gives to children, adults buy for each other and family like to give children presents too.

I find it even wierder a parent would know so little of there kids that they needs a formal list to know what they want/like.

Its a bit sad really that those children dont have such a close relationship to their parent's that they need to explain what they are into in written notes.

We don’t write a list! Father Christmas fills a stocking, and we sometimes talk about what we are hoping for, but I never wrote lists as a child (vague memory of writing one at school), and it isn’t something I’ve done with my 4YO.

It doesn't. It's a bullshit virtue signal. I grew up poor at a time when everyone I knew got everything from Santa. And it never once made me upset. My parents just made sure to prompt me into asking for something that they could afford. So I got exactly what I wanted within budget. The fact that my friend's gifts were more expensive just never came into it.

Writing a lovely letter to Father Christmas is part of the fun! You sound like a miserable sod.

My DD is only 3 but she happily spent hours decorating a letter (that I wrote for her) and doing a map of our new house (desperately concerned he will go to the old house). She very politely requested 3 things- a trumpet, a tow truck and a Thomas train. I knew she wanted the train and tow truck but I’d never have guessed a trumpet. But how bloody horrid of you to suggest I don’t know my child?!
I hope you choke on your sprouts.

We do stocking from Santa, and then we send the money over to Santa for presents of the list. So the kids know we have paid for it, and that Santa doesn't spend his own money.

We do everything they get on Christmas morning comes from Santa. That's what we had growing up, never knew anything different. It never caused an issue for us growing up and so far my kids appear just fine. Issues around money and inequality come up naturally all through the year and are discussed all the time (in an age appropriate way!)

I've only ever heard the 'stocking only' thing on MN. It's absolutely fair enough to do it any way you like but I don't find it to be necessary.

Grandparents/friends etc presents go under the tree for later in the day or are given when they see them over the festive period.

We didn't write lists to Santa. He brings surprises... which are magically things that you like! But not things you asked for.

Tbh I don't think I really asked for things for Christmas (at least, with any expectation of getting them) until I was past the age of believing in Santa. The magic was always in the surprise of gifts, even from my parents.

But then we weren't a big "santa" family - I definitely believe in him, we left out whisky and a mince pie etc, but there was never any visiting santa, I always knew that the ones you saw in public were fake, etc. For me, part of the magic of santa was that you never saw him or interacted with him

It doesn't. It's a bullshit virtue signal.

that did make me laugh @Wanderingowl

I find it even wierder a parent would know so little of there kids that they needs a formal list to know what they want/like.

Sorry this is hilarious 🤣 but maybe Santa will bring you a dictionary this year 😜

Also we only did stocking presents from Santa, but I don't find the different families, different budgets, etc arguments very compelling. Surely by the time kids are comparing the cost and quantity of presents they get, they're past the point of believing?!

Love the sweets thing!

We just used sacks on big gift bags rather than an actual stocking,

We never did lists.