Worst/strangest presents you've received from your other half

[Sweepies]

Inspired by another thread where OP was disappointed in the present her husband got her.

What are the weirdest/worst/most disappointing presents you've received from your partner at Christmas.

My DP is a very sweet and kind man but is notoriously bad at choosing presents for me. He earns good money but is quite reluctant to spend it ever to put it politely. I, on the other hand, love getting him gifts and won't hesitate to get him whatever he's hinted at for Christmas/Birthday no matter the cost.

Some of the gifts he's got me for past Christmases;

>Some fake stick on nails (I never wear fake nails and they were so small they would only fit a childs hand, they almost look like they came free with a kiddies magazine)
>A bright pink hoodie 3 sizes too small (this was the "main prezzie" that year)
>A rape whistle (???)
>A pair of earrings I already owned and he has seen me wear many times
>Some plain black socks that were miles too big
>A pair of "posh scissors"

Please make me feel better by sharing your present fails.

One year a hairdryer (I never dry my hair as I hare getting all hot and sweaty after a shower, and he thought I didn't dry it because I didn't have a dryer!) and another time years later a small TV so I "could watch it in the kitchen while cooking or washing up"... He had to work hard to be forgiven for that one! then weirdly one year, without any reason other than we had ONCE had the conversation during a spring walk that it would have been nice if we knew a bit more about birds (recognising them etc)I was really chuffed I'd remembered this and bought him this wonderful guide to birdwatching AND a pair of binoculars... and when he opened it he exploded in fits of laughter and said "open yours"... you guessed it... he also randomly gave me a (different) birdwatching guide book and a (different) pair of binoculars. Needless to say 30 years later we are both still crap at recognising anything that isn't a pigeon or a robin...😂😂😂

From the friend of a friend. Friend that I was drinking with had some framed ones in her flat. I admired them, a phone call was made, pictures were sent, money was transferred and they were delivered the next day

An ex girlfriend of mine thought she was doing a nice thing by treating me on my birthday by letting me choose what I wanted her to use from her box of assorted sex items... lubes, toys, underwear... all opened and visibly used.

Her comment to me after was "these things are expensive, I can't afford to restock after every partner"

I kid you not.

An Ant Farm from my husband. 🐜 I'd seen it and commented how cool it looked...I didn't mean I wanted it as a Christmas present!

If you were to DM me the details, himself would be interested. Not sure how the opening email would go though!

Is that for the flutters @murasaki?

Alas I believe the friend of a friend has since moved to France, but I'll endeavour to find out for sure.

I got the same present as my father in law- a warm jacket. Same size, too.

An egg timer, a hole punch and a stapler (different Christmas’s) 🙄 🙄

Yes please, we love them, oic of ours attached

The autobiography of an irritating celebrity that dh knows I dislike.

3 massive tubs of multi vitamins - he wrapped them and everything. There was about 2 years worth of the things. DP has always cared about my well being

@Dolleey The egg master review is one I return to when I'm miserable and need cheering up because it always makes me laugh but I've never heard of anyone actually having one before.

Is it really as bad as the review paints it to be?

That isn't odd behaviour, that is very very bitchy behaviour.

That isn't odd behaviour, that is very very bitchy behaviour.

Well yes, there's plenty of reasons why she's my ex, but it was ten years ago now so I can sort of see the funny side.

A small candle. Nothing else.

@listsandbudgets no idea. Watching my nephew stuck his sticky toddler fingers into it when it was first opened put me off it considerably, and I’d hardly found the idea appetising to start off with. Then that review finished me off. We still have it in a cupboard somewhere as dp feels bad getting rid of it without using it at least once...

This is outing and not me but DH once received from grandmother a small black handbag in the shape of a bustier. DH is quite feminine as husbands go but does not carry a handbag. Now we use it as a joke gift and pass it around the family each year.

Tobacco scented candles with the reduced stickers still on......I finally lost my shit that year and told him what I thought. Surprise surprise things have improved since, I don't expect expensive gifts but I do expect some thought being put into them. Hell I'd be happy with a.lump of cheese and some fancy crackers.

There's no funny side. Total bitches.

my Mum, who worked in a large electrical company gave me a printer for my christmas when I was younger but it had to be plugged in to the family computer. A year later when I was moving out for university I went to take said printer, only to be told off for trying to take the 'family printer'😂

MIL gave me a self help book one year - how to be a calmer, happier and more fulfilled person who can get more out of life it said on the summary. Hint taken. I must be a miserable sod!!

First present was a random stocking filler wrapped in loo paper.

Last present was a lap tray.

Just remembered, a friends partner gave her a large bottle of Gaviscon for Christmas!

From (now) ex husband a twelve inch long penis with testicles made of dark pink soap.
Still disappointed .

This year my husband got me a designer blouse. A nice thought but in a colour that absolutely doesn't suit me and in an oversized style that is a bit too big for me even though I'm currently 6 months pregnant. It's not suitable to be worn now during the winter and will look comically large when I'm not pregnant. He said he asked a female colleague for advice about what to get in the shop. She has never met me and doesn't know what I look like.. We haven't really got money to burn atm so I hope he didn't spend much on it. It can't be returned. It would have been ideal for his mother in a smaller size..

I rise you a full size cement mixer for valentines Day so romantic