Young adult DC and ‘unequal’ gifts for their BF/ GF who are staying

[SixDinnerSally]

My DC is 20 and recently moved out. They are on a low income and we are still at the stage of giving a main present (£200 ish at Christmas)

Thing is, this year their partner is coming to stay too and it’ll be embarrassing/ mean/ rude to give the main present in front of them. However, if I give it separately to them then my slightly younger DC would be the only one to get a main present on the day. That seems awkward too, as the gift exchange is a bit of a ritual for us, like many families. Obviously we have got the partner a gift, but not in the same league.

Any suggestions of a sensible and sensitive way to work around this?

I have bought a small gift for DS girlfriend and bigger gifts for him. I don't think the GF will care

Definitely normal to spend/gift more to your child than the partner in my experience, even many years later.

Agree with pp. It’s normal to give partner a smaller gift. I can’t see how she would be anything other then happy that you thought of her.

I think if you withheld your son’s main gift because you’re worried about how his girlfriend would feel would be far more awkward and weird. Or if you were apologetic about the difference in gifts value then that would be awkward, very uncomfortable and quite rude.

I would add bracelets or scarf, and some sort of toiletrys/ set and chocolate something.

I think I need to have a word with my parents as we spend about £25 on each other’s gifts. I probably get an extra fivers worth than DH.