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Original poster

MIL Santa’s Grotto

84 replies

ReenTD · 08/11/2022 20:11

My MIL has asked to take my DD (4) and DS (2) to see Santa this week. This would be their 1st trip to see him in their lives. I said I appreciated being asked, but actually, I would rather us to take them on our own for this one. But now my H is upset with me as he has to tell his mum ‘no’. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
User359472111111 · 10/11/2022 10:52

Mischance · 10/11/2022 09:43

I am a MIL.

If I had suggested taking any of my GC to see santa, and if any DD or SIL felt that they really wanted to do this themselves (first or not) they would simply have told me.

They do of course do lots of wonderful things with the GC, and I am delighted about that. I am included on some of these outings, and I also do things with them on their own.

None of it is an issue.

They would have told me without the emotional bias that OP seems to have that MIL is muscling in on something in a nefarious way. They would just have expressed a preference - and I would get it and say "Send me a pic on whatsapp! - have a great time!"

There has to be history here I think. It is all overblown. It is not a big deal at all.

You sound excellent @Mischance, much like my Mil!

Original poster
ReenTD · 10/11/2022 21:42

So…. my MIL just admitted to DH that she secretly took our DC to see Santa last year without telling us. Sigh. This is why we have trust issues. 🙇🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
TheDuck2018 · 10/11/2022 22:24

Trust issues??? Do you not think you might be getting a tad overwrought about this whole palava?
Good grief, did you ask her not to or is she supposed to consult a crystal ball? She probably just thought it was a nice thing to do....

dormouses · 10/11/2022 22:31

Can't you just phone her up "what a lovely idea MIL, but we'd love to be there with DC to share their excitement. Why don't we all go together, have lunch blah blah. What date suits you?"

toomuchlaundry · 10/11/2022 22:34

@TheDuck2018 you would have to be an idiot to not think parents might want to take their child to see Santa

Original poster
ReenTD · 11/11/2022 10:05

TheDuck2018 · 10/11/2022 22:24

Trust issues??? Do you not think you might be getting a tad overwrought about this whole palava?
Good grief, did you ask her not to or is she supposed to consult a crystal ball? She probably just thought it was a nice thing to do....

The fact that she did it secretly is a sure sign that she knew it was wrong.

I know you want to defend MIL’s (as you are one) but sometimes MIL’s are as badly behaved as their reputations!

OP posts:
Daisychainsx · 11/11/2022 11:05

I suppose the kids can't have enjoyed it that much if they didn't come home and tell you all about it. Kind of strange that she wouldn't mention she took them, I wouldn't be annoyed if my MIL said 'oh we were at the garden centre and santa was there so I let the kids go meet him!', but to say nothing is strange. I'm assuming the day she took them you'd have had a 'what did you get up to today?' chat, so she either thought it was a non event and didn't even mention it, or she knew you'd be pissed off so didn't say anything. Anyway, it's just a trip to santa, they generally only believe until about 6 or 7 nowadays thanks to the playground chat... so just be glad they've made the most of the magical years!

TheDuck2018 · 11/11/2022 11:46

I know you want to defend MIL’s (as you are one) but sometimes MIL’s are as badly behaved as their reputations!

Wrong on both counts.... firstly, I'm not a mil yet, and secondly, I don't want to necessarily defend mils (my own is horrendous but that's another story!) but I just think some things are just not worth getting het up about.
My dc was taken lots of times to see Father Christmas by both us and by my parents and after this thread, I asked him if he remembered going, especially the first time, and nope, not a chance!
I must be a terrible mother and I am clearly a lot older than a lot of the posters on here, but I can't remember the first time I took him either! There'll be photos of it and it will be written in his treasure book but can't remember it at all.
If you usually get on well with your in-laws, then don't make a massive issue of this 🎅😊

WimbyAce · 11/11/2022 12:07

ReenTD · 10/11/2022 21:42

So…. my MIL just admitted to DH that she secretly took our DC to see Santa last year without telling us. Sigh. This is why we have trust issues. 🙇🏻‍♀️

Wow, I wouldn't be happy about this at all!

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