How many gifts per child?

[Smarshian]

I am just starting writing out my lists for the kids.
so far I have a Xmas Eve box each (I know these aren’t universally loved!) with hot choc, new pjs, a mug, a bath bomb and a book. Total cost £10 each.
then stockings with sweets, fidget spinners, small toy (Gu jitzu dinosaur for him, uno for her), oodies (fake £10 ones), selection box and cans of pop. Total cost approx £25-30 each.
then under the tree maybe 4 gifts each. The cost will be quite different for these I imagine as he doesn’t want much and she is after a switch, so will get that and 3 very small other gifts, he might get 2-3 medium gifts and 1-2 smaller.
what is everyone else doing?

@FreakyFrie
Yes those 4/5 will include selection boxes, probably a bubble bath, probably something to wear, and maybe a book.

DS1 will have lego & a bike.
DS2 I'm really really struggling for ideas for, needs nothing, we are effectively buying for the hell of it.

But I refuse to have more things for one child than the other. Biggish age gap so I match numbers of things rather than cash.

I should add DS2 also has a birthday to find ideas for and family are looking for ideas too.

How many things would the normally expect to have?

I think if kids see a pile of gifts that's maybe one kid has 10 things, and one 12 it's maybe not that obvious that one has two more than another.
But if one has 4 gives and another has 6 is still only two more but more obvious that Bob is still opening stuff when Billy has finished.

I honestly don't think my kids would count but it's not something that I want them ever to pick up on.
Maybe once they are both teens I'll change to equal money but for the time being it's equal piles.

Dinoteeth I agree. It is about perceived fairness between DCs so they feel equally treated, and how they are able to see/understand that is different depending on their ages.
My DCs are 6 and 8yo. In the past the measure of 'equality' was an equal volume of gifts (ie their present piles once opened taking up the same amount of space), and it largely is still this for the 6yo. The 8yo is beginning to understand the things she wants now are a bit smaller and more expensive, but isn't fully 'there' yet. As a result, an equal number of gifts is also 'fair' to her even if they're smaller, although I will make sure there is a bulky item or two included to ensure the volume of the pile is closer to her sister's because she isn't fully their yet (this year she is getting a bulky swim training bag which she needed any way, but I'll hold out to give at Christmas to help with the perceived fairness). Teenagers on the other hand are able to understand having an equal amount spent on each of them may equal very different quantities or volume of gifts depending on what they want/need. They will also understand, for example, that their younger sibling got a laptop for school work on top of their usual gifts this year, but so did they 2 years ago at the same age - this would most definitely not be understood as 'fair' to my 8yo!

I can’t really answer that as it just hasn’t been an issue. They don’t count their own or other peoples. The middle child opens everything quicker than everyone else anyway, the oldest opens them slowly and plays with each one before moving on. The youngest is autistic and needs a lot of help with his. They don’t have an expectation around number of gifts, as I said they ask for a couple of things they want and I buy the ones I can afford.

Agree @SkankingWombat its all about perception. When I buy I usually buy 3 things at once, if I’m buying oodies they all get one, they don’t have to be the same but I wouldn’t buy one or two an oodie and not get the third one. They may vary in cost but they all have one. I try and do this with most presents. My 8yo has specifically asked for makeup, my 10yo has also taken an interest in makeup, not for general wear but she likes the arty creative side of it, so I’ve bought them both various makeup bits and just to make it even I’ve bought cheap kids makeup sets (unicorn & lol pallets) from homebargins for my 5 yo as even though she will have loads of other stuff if she sees her sisters with make and she hasn’t got any she will be upset.

My older 2 are starting to understand the costs of things, but as you say aren’t quite there yet. I think even though they know the costs of things, seeing a big difference in piles of presents would still be upsetting even if they know it shouldn’t be.

Although numbers may not be exactly even on Christmas Day they will be very similar or at least look that way. Right now my youngest actually has less but that’s because her main gift is bigger than the others in size so on the day it shouldn’t be too noticeable. Plus she has toys, playsets (Barbie Malibu dreamhouse, Gabbys Dollshouse figure set) with lots of bits and accessories included, where as my older 2 have moved past the toy stage and there won’t be any extras in the box. My oldests main present is just one item (sewing machine) most of her other gifts are made up of all the additional bits I’ve bought for her to go with it (material, threads & bobbins, dressmaking scissors etc…), which is why she will have more to open, similar with my middle one.

I do have a dilemma at the moment though, earlier in the year I got 2 really nice HP note books but the 3rd house was out of stock. I’ve still not been able to find a 3rd one to match the other 2 so I’m going to have to remove the 2 books I’ve got as I can’t give 2 DCs their HP house notepads and not the 3rd one hers, especially seeing she’s the only one who put anything HP related on her list 😬

I sort of do that too mirror gifts so they appear the same.

With your note pads, I'd give one to the HP lover, one to middle child and find something else for the oldest.

My oldest needs a new bike, and I've got him Lego to open.
Youngest needs nothing and im still trying to come up with a decent idea for him and he'll also have Lego to open.

They'll both have toiletry sets, maybe something to wear, and books.

Ah ok I see.

I probably buy more in general which is why I never bother counting. As I know they have a decent pile each.

Off the top of my head I can think of 20 things Iv bought my daughter already ranging from things like AirPods to fluffy socks. Iv probably bought more but forgot too.

@FreakyFrie, I just can't think what to buy them, and it's not a money issue.

Oldest is 12, he'd give you a list of Lego a mile long if you let him, being boys hair stuff and makeup is out, media stuff (games, music, movies) are all online, he's not asking for designer gear (yet), I actually cannot think what to get him other than more lego.

Youngest is about to turn 6, and needs nothing.

I bought the oldest a bundle of hoodie and stuff for doing his week residential with school, so doesn't need clothes.
I'm absolutely stumped!

How do you buy 3 presents and NOT have counted them?

I mean thats something you learn at approx 3-4 year old, with numbers in single digits our brains naturally count.

You dont have to sit and go 1, 2, 3... if someone gets 2 gifts and someone 15 its bloody obvious unless they are completely numerically challanged.

@FreakyFrie I suppose I should also add they will get 4/5 gifts from family too. But a few years ago I used to buy all sorts of random filler gifts to 'see if they'll like...' only for 18mths / 2 years later for it to be getting carted to the charity shop barely used.

7, 9 and 10. Just because that's what they have asked for. The one getting 7 presents has asked for more expensive things so they're getting a few less presents then the other two. These are also from my parents. We live in a different country so my mum sends us money to buy the kids something they want.

They'll also get new pjs on Christmas eve and chocolate and a few small bits in their stockings (bubbles, surprise eggs etc)

mine are teens and normally i go a bit mad and they end up with lods of tat stuff.

I'mgoing to try really hard this year not to buy stuff for the sake of it. its really hard though as I could buy all day for DD, so then have to even up for the boys but DS1 is just not into anything except maps and star trek!

The older 2 are getting new laptops so it will just be a stocking with things like chocolate, novelty socks, and other small items like new charging cables etc and then the laptops and maybe a couple of books etc. Still thinking of a main present for DS2 who will be 12. He still wants lego.

I have a nearly 3 year old, and a 7 month old and this is their list (I scribbled out their names). They get a main present that’s not wrapped laid out by their ‘pile’.

Obviously I only had one child last year, so this year I’ve gone for a few presents from Father Christmas each, then also a ‘share’ pile.. mostly because my toddler wants everything the youngest has.. but also hates him sharing her toys so I thought this was a good way to do a ‘it’s for both of you to play with’ 😂

My toddlers birthday is a couple days after Christmas too so I find this time of year stressful 😂

I do think boys are harder to get extras for than girls once they are past the toy stage .

What is a Christmas eve box? Is it a new thing?

3-4 presents from us (one main, one or two smaller, one books)
1 present from Father Christmas
Stocking which has about 20-25 things in

@Filleto what sort of things would you put in Stockings?

I've got my two year old one big gift (a ride on electric G-wagon) and around 11 other smaller gifts ie Blippi book, Peppa pig floor puzzle etc.

Christmas Eve boxes have been around for years now.
defo not new!

@FreakyFrie

They are relatively new, they weren't around when my now adult kids were small. Nor this elf lark. All about consumerism

I have 2 DC's

Dd 7
Vtech diary
Paint sticks
Bookeez
Sticker workshop
Geill worlds Dino pack
Bath bombs
Aqua dragon under water world
Friday night funkin colouring books X2
IKEA desk/chair
Vtech kiddizoom studio camera
Pokémon cards
Crayola pencils
Shes looking for a switch lite to play Pokémon but we have an old 2ds with lots of games one is Pokémon bought a new case for it. She will be delighted

Stocking
Pringles
Smarties
Chocolate dips

Christmas Eve box
Pjs
Toothbrush
Sweets

Ds 11
Samsung phone
Phone lens
Selfie stick
Hp sprocket printer/paper
Frames and stickers
Huawei smart watch
Disco ball
Funny socks
Sloth hot water bottle
Pins
Magnetic rings
Riddles travel game
Cross over bag
Body spray
Puma water bottle
Books
Advent calendar

Stocking
Wham bars
Bubble gum
Brain blastersx2
Popping candy

Christmas Eve box
Pjs
Toothbrush
Sweets

They have been a things since WW2, easily tracable... I had them in the 80s and my mam had them in the 60s lol.

Just because YOU didnt do it didnt mean it didnt exist... we didn't have stocking growing up neither did the people I knew but I don't think they are a magical new invention.

Last year lego was a huge hit in this house but no one wants any this year 😅 I now have absolutely tons of Harry Potter lego!

My youngest is 9 but he’s severely autistic so a nightmare to buy for as he’s into absolutely nothing at all!! Except flooding my bloody bathroom 😂

He ends up with lots of sensory bits, sweets, his favs chocolate, pjs, clothing and a day out to a theme park as he loves rides.

This thread prompted me to look at my Xmas pile for each kid… I have 34 for my daughter and 19 for my son! (My son won’t notice)

But that includes things such as the traditional tubes of Xmas chocolates they get each etc so some gifts are only a pound or two.

I agree with you that girls are much easier to buy for, most of my daughter pile is stuff she will use and it will be gone in 6 months time such as clay masks, hair masks, bath bombs, little Yankee candle, felting kit, face serums.
Then she has stuff like fluffy socks, posh sweets, earrings, a book, pjs, new angel hairbrush and chocolates, star sign book etc
Her big gifts are AirPods and a beauty fridge.

It works out she has a lot of items but really they don’t cost that much.

They also get £100 worth of gifts from each nan (2 sets) and about £50-£60 from each uncle and auntie (2 sets) so they do get probably far to much!

They really are not.
I had them as a child growing up myself and Iv done them since my kids were born and my oldest is 11.

You obviously just didn’t do them/get them but they are spoke about a lot on here too.