How do you ‘do’ Christmas?

[Nellynoo182]

So for Christmas this year we will have a newborn! Very exciting indeed! Our little one will be the first grandchild for both my parents and my husbands parents.

My husband and I both come from extremely loving and wonderful families who are so excited to welcome the first grandchild. This year we will just have Christmas to ourselves and tell family to pop in for baby cuddles!) but it has got me thinking - what do other people do for Christmas to see both families?

Our families only live 15 min drive from each other, so usually we do this:

Christmas Eve:
Lunch with his family
Evening in pub with my family and sleep at my parents

Christmas Day:
Open prezzies in AM with my family
About Midday go and see his family and open prezzies
3pm both go separate ways and have lunch with our own families
Evening - he joins my family

Boxing Day with his family
27th with mine

This has worked great for us over the years but I’m sure we won’t want to be shuttling round a little one so much in years to come! So I’m interested in what everyone else tends to do?

And I apologise in advance for talking about Christmas so early 😂

Christmas Eve

Christmas film night as a family
Treat dinner
Early night

(We then scuttle around preparing for the morning, stockings out, snow sprinkled, hoof prints pressed, Santa 'evidence' left)

Christmas morning
Kids bring their stockings into our room and open on the bed
Buffet breakfast
Open main gifts under the tree

If we are hosting dinner DH then takes the kids out for an hour while I start preparing food.

Dinner at 14:00

If we are at my mums (alternate years) we leave after opening gifts about 10am and get there for 12/13:00

Boxing Day we sometimes go to the in-laws but I hate them so try to avoid it as much as possible

When my first was under 1 we had Christmas at my mums and Boxing Day - definitely couldn't be bothered to cook when sleep deprived

Once we had children age 3+, Christmas day was at ours.

imo You 'can't' keep splitting up for Christmas lunch whatever you do. (Obviously you could but it is weird when you have children).

My eldest will come round before Xmas day for Xmas dinner with all the trimmings. Last year he was here for half an hour as he had to work. But it is what it is. I know friends whose grown up kids wouldn’t “dare” miss Xmas day with their parents. I’m so it’s up to you it doesn’t bother me as long as i see him at some point in December that’s fine with me.

me and my youngest will have Xmas dinner again on Xmas eve and a Buffet type on Xmas day

This whole routine makes me very excited to have children 🤣 I will 1000% be making the husband scatter fake snow on the floor for the newborn (who will be max 2 weeks old) this year 😂 thank you for sharing, it sounds lovely! @PonyTime

@TeenDivided yes I agree, defo won’t be splitting up for Xmas lunch anymore with a little one in tow. I think we will probably host once we are settled into parenting life, or at least offer to every other year or something, thank you! Xxx

We alternate years with each set of parents as they are too far away to see both on the day and some years I have to work.

Christmas Eve dinner and presents with his family

Christmas morning home just us

christmas dinner and presents with my family

the days were dictating by aligning with a sister-in-law. We didn’t particularly care which family we saw which day. We just set a rule that children only have to go to one place each day and Christmas morning is at home.

Christmas Eve either panto or have DM over
Christmas Day either go out for lunch or have it at home (we are a family of 5 adults)
Boxing Day either go to my DB’s or they come to us or occasionally go to the panto
The next day stay in a hotel and meet up
with all the in-laws.

Right from the start we made Christmas Day for our new family. DH, me & baby. Worked like a dream, not a single argument over who's 'turn' it was and as the DC got older no dragging them away from their presents. I highly recommend.

When I was pregnant with the first we introduced a new routine. If you want to see us at xmas you are welcome to come but we don't go anywhere.

So after 14 xmases my parents always come to us on Xmas morning and stay until the day after boxing day.

I live in hope that my brother might step up and invite them one year so we can have a quiet Xmas. Covid 2020 Xmas was bloody lovely.

We see the other side at some point for a long lunch at someone's house before or after xmas.

Do you not get bored?

We had a just us family Christmas last year (cries in tier 4) and it was horrific

Really missed the wider family element of Christmas

Do you not get bored?

Bored? In my own house, with my own family?

God no. I'm perfectly happy being at home with them.

My red line is we have Christmas Eve and morning at home. Happy for any family that would like to to join us for that but they generally don’t.

We visit or host each side of the family for a big meal at some point over the season depending on which dates fit for everyone, all their in-laws etc. Its usually different every year. Sometimes one is on Christmas Day afternoon, sometimes we spend that as just our nuclear family too, or just the grandparents pop in for a bit.

I find everyone is happier (my children included) if Christmas is spread over a number of enjoyable days instead of a few frantic overheated hours.

We would normally alternate between seeing DH's family and mine, usually us going to them as we have less space. We have gone through years of driving 40 mins to see my family, then another 45 mins to eat with his family, then 30mins home. I don't get much leave at Christmas so it can be knackering.
We will also have a small baby this year 🙂 we will not going anywhere or cooking for anyone. Looking ahead we will play it by ear. I'm not going back to spending the whole day just driving around!

I agree. We always used to alternate but from the first year we had DD we said Christmas Day would be at our house and we wouldn't be travelling that day. When they get a bit older they don't want to be dragged away from their toys anyway, plus I always loved the routine of settling them into their own beds on Christmas Eve after putting out the carrot and mince pie and hanging their stockings up on our fireplace..... I didn't want to lose that by staying elsewhere and I didn't want to do any getting them into the car/packing the changing bag etc on Christmas Day. I absolutely love our family Christmas Day.....we can stay in our PJs all day if we want. Although we've always said we'll be at home but are happy to host, we do sometimes have family pop in during the afternoon or evening.

So what usually happens now is Christmas Eve seeing my family, Christmas Day at our house, Boxing Day at the in laws. It works well.

By the way, come and join us over on the Christmas board. You won't get any moaning on there that it's too early to start planning! 🎅

We only have one family member locally, so we've always stayed at home on Christmas Day. Normally she has either come to us, or goes and stays with BIL & SIL who live the other side of the country. She's now very frail so this year she will stay at her house and we'll pop over there for an hour or two.

Personally I'd set my stall out now and have Christmas day at home just the three of you, saves shuffling the DC around and as they grow older they'll probably want to be at home to play with their toys.
Anyone wants to pop round is welcome either am or pm.
Christmas eve day with DH family, boxing day with your family, following year vice versa.
I hate Christmas BTW 😉

I can understand it was awful not seeing anyone over the whole Christmas period but in normal circumstances if you're busy seeing both sides of the family, school nativities, carol services, travelling to see relatives, work parties, school discos, trips to the panto etc etc etc over the festive season then Christmas Day at home is absolute bliss. Lazy morning, present opening, children play, I cook lunch, we go for a walk, home for a snooze on the sofa in front of the TV. It's bliss to have one quiet day among the chaos and it also spreads out the gifts for DC as they see different people over a few days so it's not overwhelming and it helps Christmas to feel like a season rather than just one day.

Last year with a newborn we invited family round for breakfast on Xmas day. It was easy - coffee, jus rol croissants and fruit, exchange gifts, cuddle baby, everyone fucked off home in good time to get their dinners in the oven and we had no expectations for the rest of the day

Christmas Eve is sacrosanct, just me DH and DS, before DC or was the same just me and DH the lull before the storm.
Christmas Day will be one of three things either people come to us this includes my parents, DB, SIL and DNS, DHs parents he doesn't have siblings.
Or we go to my parents Christmas day (DB and family too) but come home, they have two spare rooms, but my brother SIL and DNs usually stay and I don't fancy a sofa bed etc, SIL doesn't have a relationship with her parents at all, they are awful, so I don't mind, they also offer to have the sofa bed etc but we only live half an hour away so it's just easier to go home and DHs parents boxing Day

Or we go to DHs parents Christmas day and his aunt uncle and adult cousins come in the evening and we go to my family boxing Day. We generally stay over night and leave boxing morning as they live about 90 minutes away and have a spare room and additional bathroom for us and DS has his own bedroom there (spoilt only grandchild of an only child), so it's comfy.

Always spent Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing day at my parents house, even since having my 2 DC. My dad's always made a big thing of Christmas and my grandparents, brothers and partners go round too. But this year we might be spending most of the Christmas period with DP's mum, we get a long, but DP does not have fond memories of Christmas growing up and so I'm dreading it 😞

Oh and db doesn't host as last time they did DM and I still did the cooking in a kitchen stocked by people who don't cook!

@ThreeRingCircus

Yeah a day of silence is not my idea of fun

But then again I'm used to 20+ people christmases as from a large family which is probably the reaso.

@MNHQ please move this thread to Christmas topic.

This. As a kid, Christmas plans always changed every year according to ‘whose turn’ it was, there was always a rush to open presents then abandon them to pile in the car and drive half an hour to some elderly relative’s. It sucked as we had to abide by ‘their’ schedule, make polite conversation etc when all we wanted to do was play with our toys and have dinner at home.

We stay at home and host for the whole thing but everyone is welcome to join us and they usually do.