How do you ‘do’ Christmas?

[Nellynoo182]

So for Christmas this year we will have a newborn! Very exciting indeed! Our little one will be the first grandchild for both my parents and my husbands parents.

My husband and I both come from extremely loving and wonderful families who are so excited to welcome the first grandchild. This year we will just have Christmas to ourselves and tell family to pop in for baby cuddles!) but it has got me thinking - what do other people do for Christmas to see both families?

Our families only live 15 min drive from each other, so usually we do this:

Christmas Eve:
Lunch with his family
Evening in pub with my family and sleep at my parents

Christmas Day:
Open prezzies in AM with my family
About Midday go and see his family and open prezzies
3pm both go separate ways and have lunch with our own families
Evening - he joins my family

Boxing Day with his family
27th with mine

This has worked great for us over the years but I’m sure we won’t want to be shuttling round a little one so much in years to come! So I’m interested in what everyone else tends to do?

And I apologise in advance for talking about Christmas so early 😂

Work until day before Christmas Eve, we have a lovely dinner in the early evening but the day is filled with opening presents and spending time together.

Christmas Day is with wider family and involves games and food.

By having our own Christmas Day on Christmas Eve, we get to enjoy the gift giving and time together to reflect on things and also to plan ahead.

Husband works on Xmas eve so it’s just a normal day for us, with extra cooking while I get a head start on some things.

For Xmas day, Pre kids we would take turns about - my family one year, his the next. Once we had the kids it was strictly Xmas dinner at home, just the 4 of us. The year we went to my in-laws and there was 15 people, we had a 1 week old baby and I was stuck at a table in the hall with the kids was my final straw. Family drops in late morning to do gifts then go do their own thing.

My mum died a few years ago and now I host her partner and my uncle every year. To be honest i’m desperately trying to get out of it this year, I want the day to myself again but if I don’t host them they’ll be on their own and I feel guilty about it.

We don't have children, so it's a bit easier. We're both off work for two weeks over Christmas as well.

Sometime before Christmas Day itself, we'll go out for a meal with my parents. Normally around the 21st/22nd ish. We go to them as they live about 45 minutes away and my dad has eyesight issues now which means he struggles to drive long distances.

Christmas Day is just us as we have the dog to consider and it's far less stressful to just be at home without huge crowds of people.

Boxing Day, DH's parents tend to visit, along with some siblings/children - we don't do a meal, more presents and snacks for a couple hours.

That's it it's lovely. It's incredibly stress-free and there's no obligation to do anything either.

My dd and sil and 2 dgc come to me for early Xmas dinner 2nd week of December. I organise for them to see Santa and go ice skating then they go for a walk with dog looking for Xmas decorations and lights on windows as lots near to us. Xmas Eve my eldest son comes home with gf. I always do a huge gammon ham then they go bowling and a drink with his brother who still lives at home. Xmas morning I have DH, me, eldest son and gf and you get son and foster son for Xmas lunch at about 3. Present opening is at 10am after breakfast. DH preps all veg night before and I finish up the wrapping pressies. We tend to have selection of deserts in evening and cheeses and crackers too. Boxing day eldest son goes home early with gf. We have cold cuts for lunch and youngest son goes to see his Dad. We often take foster son ice skating or bowling in afternoon. Day after Boxing day we go up to see mil. My parents are dead now but we used to visit them and my sister's for New Year. Now we just visit my sister's for New Year. Usually about 3 days after Xmas we have friends over for drinks and evening meal. DH and I spend all our time together.

Both sets of our parents live 2 hours from us. We spend Christmas Eve at home, wake up at home and open presents with the kids. Leave home about 10am and go to one set of parents for Christmas Day and stay the night. Boxing Day we go to the other set and do it all over again with full Christmas dinner. Then we go back to the first set for 27th and back again the to the other set for 28th. Then we go home! They are only 5 minutes away from each other!

Christmas eve is treated as a special family day in our house. We start the day with a pancake breakfast which the kids love as they like to put their own toppings on.

We bake bread, cakes, cookies etc and have an early buffet tea. Watch Xmas films and open one present (from their godmother who celebrates Xmas eve as part of her culture)

We leave out the special cookie or cupcake for father Xmas.

Christmas day we do the stockings in our bed (my favourite part) and go downstairs to open presents from DH and I.

Then we alternate Christmas day between my parents and DHs mums, there's a different routine to the day depending on who we're with.

Whichever family we don't see on Christmas day we see on boxing day and do a second full Xmas.

We find this way it's less stressful as you don't have to clockwatch and gather everyone to leave when they're having fun and as we alternate each year it always seems fair.

I think most people seem to do alternate years but it all depends on every families set. You are very fortunate to live close by to both sets of grandparents so it’s easy for you to spend time with both of them.
My family live 3 hours drive away so not possible to do a day visit and my husband has no parents. So most years for us our spent on our own. And that’s fine too! I would say don’t put pressure on yourselves to fit everyone in every day. You’ve got no idea how you are going to feel, and how much you may not want to drag the baby around multiple times.

When our 1st was born we decided that we would always spend Christmas in our own home (if at all possible) and we have. I have always hosted Christmas dinner (now 24 years) for the grandparents to attend at their own choosing (we’ve only had 2 Christmases as our nuclear family over the years) giving the grandparents the option to go to other siblings if invited and want to. My DH was adamant that the kids would not be taken away from their presents on Christmas Day to please anyone else and if they became tired or cranky they were at home so no issue about heading to their own rooms when they wanted. Various of our siblings drop in to see the kids and have drinks but don’t stay for dinner. None of DH siblings have DC so I suppose that has made it much easier from that perspective.

My parents host on Boxing Day as my DB and his family come too.

Christmas Eve we have gone out for a lovely meal since the youngest was around 5 years old as I refuse to cook. My DC have said recently that even when they were small Christmas Eve was their favourite (better than the presents on Christmas Day when they look back) as we made it really special. Once home, after dinner, we would have the reindeer food to scatter, we made cookies for Santa, we sorted a drink and cookie for Santa, sang Christmas karaoke (badly) then read “The night before Christmas) when they got to bed. The same routine every year only heightened their anticipation. Aged 18 and 24 now they shamelessly still do the routine (minus the book whilst in bed, lol).

We will have a 13mo old this year!

Christmas Eve will be the three of us, Christmas Day both sides to us so about 12 in total, Boxing Day my family stay and 27th everyone buggers off 😄

My parents live in another country so can't go to theirs anyway, but OH's parents are divorced so there's still two sets of parents. We usually go to FIL's Christmas Eve (the main day for us) as he lives in the same town as us. MIL usually comes to visit before Christmas but last year we went there on either Christmas Day or Boxing Day, can't remember which, and had a second Christmas there. But they live further away and with petrol prices these days I'm not sure we'll be going there this year.

We used to do the whole Christmas at FIL's - the meal, Father Christmas visiting, everything, but one year DD asked to stay home and since then we do our own meal but have a second meal at FIL's, and do Father Christmas at home.

We do a Christmas Eve buffet from lunch until about 7 for family / friends to drop by - nobody from my husbands side ever comes . Then Christmas Day we have the morning at home , husband pops over to see his mother , then about 2/3 pm we go to my sisters for dinner ( about 4:30) , with my family . Boxing Day we go back to my sisters . We only live about a 20 minute drive away .

When my kids were small.

Always a panto Xmas Eve. They would be so tired afterwards so easy to get to bed hang stockings on the back of their doors.

Only little presents in that. Which they can open on waking. Everyone's presents downstairs around the tree. So breakfast then opening of the main presents

Family come round then eat in the afternoon.

Christmas Eve: Just me, DH and DS at home. We’ll usually get a takeaway and watch Christmassy films on TV in the evening.

Christmas Day: Morning at home opening presents just the 3 of us, late morning we go to FILs and open presents there and have a light lunch, back home for the evening where I cook Christmas dinner. My mum normally comes to us for this.

Boxing Day: Big family meal at FILs.

All other days in between we do what we feel like.

Oh that sounds intense for your sister every year @Floralnomad! Does she enjoy the hosting??

We always see both sides of family on Christmas Day. Actually this was same pre children too since we were teens we do alternate years with our parents. Usually have dinner with one of them but had it ourselves last few yrs which I do and don't enjoy. Love someone else to do all the cooking 😂 quite like being at home with the kids and playing with their toys though.

We used to see one set of family in morning exchange gifts etc and then go to the other one for dinner. Pre children we wld stay over and be up drinking and playing games having a gd laugh. Post children we come home a few hrs after dinner.

We never used to do anything with family before or after Christmas but had lunch with in laws last yr. I'd rather not as I like being at home and having our own traditions on Christmas Eve.

That sounds like a very busy and complicated few days with a newborn! I'd suggest christmas eve with 1 family, christmas morning alone, christmas dinner/evening with other family, then boxing day a tentative plan to have a day of rest. If your baby will be max 2 weeks old, you'll be tired, still adjusting and really need stability in your own home as much as possible

My daughter’s just about to turn three. I’m hoping for the following each year

Christmas eve - theatre (we have tickets for this year)
Christmas Day - just the three of us at home
Boxing Day - seeing relatives

This will be our first Xmas with a baby and like pp, I'm putting my foot down about spending it in our own home. Last year we did my family 24-26th, and DH's 26-30th. It was too much, too stressful and I hated it. Xmas 2020, lockdown Christmas just us, was the best one I've had in ages.

This year I'm inviting my family to come and have pre Christmas drinks and nibbles at ours sometime round the 20th. We'll 100% do 24-26th at ours, then 27th head up to PILs. I absolutely refuse to get locked into alternating because then people get upset when you dare to make a change.

Having everyone a short drive away makes it much easier for you as any of you can travel as see each other for a few hours if wanted. My family are 2.5 hrs away so it’s always been us or them travelling for 3+ nights and people sleeping on floors etc. Not easy when it’s me, dh, three kids plus presents and luggage.

My mil declared once she’d got kids that they would be at home for Christmas but any of the grandparents could join them- fine, but they didn’t have siblings with kids and we I do and want to see them so one of us has to travel.

Also hard when the cousins are at different stages as toddler christmases are different to 7/8 yr olds and different again to secondary age so hard to try and suit everyone. But at the same time I wouldn’t want to push anyone away or make them feel unwelcome. The “we just want to be our little family” thing grates on me as I know I’d be really hurt if my kids decided they didn’t want to see me at Christmas!

Up until we had dc, I always had Christmas at my mum & dads. I’m from a large family and we all pile round their house, it’s mayhem, loud and silly, but brilliant and I have such good memories.

Having said that, for the last 2 years, dh and I decided we wanted to start our own Christmas traditions. As a kid, I always had Christmas in our own home, no having to get in and out of the car to visit different relatives, when all you want to do is stay in your pjs and play with your toys. It was magical - so I wanted to create that for our own dcs. My mum totally gets it, even though she misses us going round Xmas day.

We now visit dhs family a couple of days before Xmas, we have a Xmas eve walk then go for a pub lunch out, with any family/friends who wants to join us, Christmas Day, just us , then Boxing Day, we go to my family for a big buffet. It works really well.

Dh has spent most of his adult life on Xmas day just driving around to see different family members (his mum and dad divorced years ago, so he’d go to his mums/stepdads, then his dads, then his sisters then to my parents) he was so fed up with doing it and not being able to actually relax or have a drink. He loves the new arrangement!

I don’t mind if people wanted to come to us one year , I’d love to host my folks, but they are too happy in their house and lots of my family still go there.

We have Christmas Eve home with just us. But usually the kids are at my mums Christmas Eve morning because my birthday is 23rd and mum has them for a sleepover while me and DH go for a meal or similar. So home by late afternoon Christmas Eve. Morning is at home till around midday, then either DH's family come to ours for a couple of hours then we go to my mums for dinner or the other way round. Boxing Day is at ours for both families usually, just a buffet type thing, the kids stay in their pj's and that's their day to open all their new toys and wreck my house 😂

Christmas Eve and Christmas morning we do at home.
Christmas lunch with one set of parents and stay overnight to boxing day.
Boxing day with the other set of parents.
Then alternate each year.

Both sets of parents live really close to us, so we don't have to drive around loads to visit everyone

We also see grandparents in the few days following Christmas and usually stay with my aunt and uncle over new year (although not the last 2 years so will see if that returns)
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We don't really do Christmas now but when the DC were small we would always stay at home so they could open presents and play with them without being rushed. Occasionally an elderly relative would come to stay.

I don't live near my other relatives and they didn't want to travel with children either so we used to have a "Christmas Day" in the summer holidays. Much better for travelling when the weather is more reliable and the days are longer for playing outside.

Now it is much like any other bank holiday. Family are welcome to visit and we will have a nice meal but no problem if they have other plans. I would never pressure them to come or feel they should have us to stay. Last year I did a few hours in the garden, then DH and I had a meal once it got dark.

We used to rotate and travel around until dc were born. From then on we stayed at home. Anyone is welcome to join us but we don't go out. Some years it's just the 4 of us, others 10. The most was when we had both sets of inlaws (divorced with new partners) my parents and dsis and her family so it was 14 for lunch.
I love hosting so works for us.