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Christmas

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Original poster

How do you ‘do’ Christmas?

96 replies

Nellynoo182 · 30/08/2022 12:47

So for Christmas this year we will have a newborn! Very exciting indeed! Our little one will be the first grandchild for both my parents and my husbands parents.

My husband and I both come from extremely loving and wonderful families who are so excited to welcome the first grandchild. This year we will just have Christmas to ourselves and tell family to pop in for baby cuddles!) but it has got me thinking - what do other people do for Christmas to see both families?

Our families only live 15 min drive from each other, so usually we do this:

Christmas Eve:
Lunch with his family
Evening in pub with my family and sleep at my parents

Christmas Day:
Open prezzies in AM with my family
About Midday go and see his family and open prezzies
3pm both go separate ways and have lunch with our own families
Evening - he joins my family

Boxing Day with his family
27th with mine

This has worked great for us over the years but I’m sure we won’t want to be shuttling round a little one so much in years to come! So I’m interested in what everyone else tends to do?

And I apologise in advance for talking about Christmas so early 😂

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 30/08/2022 16:58

GiltEdges · 30/08/2022 15:33

Oh that sounds intense for your sister every year @Floralnomad! Does she enjoy the hosting??

Show quote history

She took over when my mum died , same venue , she loves it , there are only 7/8 of us altogether and all adults now and me and my other sister chip in and help .

Sago1 · 30/08/2022 17:15

As parents of 3 AC we have vowed to never put pressure on them to come home at Christmas or New Year, the quality of time we spend together is the most important.
We have 2 beautiful grandchildren and have loved seeing them at Christmas time but don’t expect it.
A typical Christmas Day though starts with a champagne brunch then presents by the fire, lots of canapés and drinks then we eat around 4.30pm.
Food is traditional, presents are limited to a £30pp spend but everyone gets a stocking of little gifts I have collected throughout the year.
Possibly we will be on our own this year so we may go away in the UK and have an alternative Christmas.

SBAM · 30/08/2022 17:18

Pre-kids we alternated between being with my family or the in-laws. We now do a 3 year rotation(ILs, my parents, home) as both sets of family live too far for us to comfortably drive for a day visit.

The ‘home’ year we often have family visit in the days either side of Christmas Day (both dads happy to drive for hours but we struggle to do more than 3 hours in a day due to small kids) and I’m sure as people get older some of ‘their’ years we’ll have them to us instead of staying with them.

Holly60 · 30/08/2022 17:32

mattressspring · 30/08/2022 13:32

Do you not get bored?

Bored? In my own house, with my own family?

God no. I'm perfectly happy being at home with them.

It'll be fascinating what your DC choose to do when they are adults. Children often end up doing the opposite of what their parents did.

You could end up going to the massive family christmases again, just as part of the older generation 😂

Holly60 · 30/08/2022 17:38

We always alternated between my family and in-laws. Would go and stay with both sides even though we could have done it in a day 😂.

Now we are the grands we host our DC alternately with their in-laws. Well DS and DDIL always come to us as her mum is abroad and doesn't really do Xmas and DD and SIL come every other year. Love having all the DGC together 🥰.

I do think I miss being hosted though - loved not having to cook Xmas lunch 😂

Nidan2Sandan · 30/08/2022 17:39

Pre-children DH always worked (police) and I went to mums.

Since having our first child 13 years ago DH has always managed to book xmas off work. Since then we have xmas day at our house and invite people to ours for the whole day. No chance I was travelling with kids.

It's not so bad with your newborn, they'll sleep most of the time anyway. But imagine toddler years, pre-school years when they want the magic of being home with their new toys and home comforts. Their own beds to nap in etc.

whatthejuice · 30/08/2022 17:41

We're either at my sisters or mine on Christmas Day. The years it's my "turn" I'll have my in-laws, my parents and my sister's family. When it's my sister's turn, she has her in-laws, our parents and us.
It works pretty well and means that my kids always see their cousins. It also means we always have 12 for lunch which, for us, is a nice number. My sister has a bigger family on the in-law side so those years are a bit chaotic but good fun!
Christmas Eve and Boxing Day are less planned but usually I'll do a boxing day revolving door situation for all the yummy leftovers on Boxing Day and I can see people like my cousins who I'm close to.

ShowOfHands · 30/08/2022 17:54

We see my family on the 25th and in-laws on the 26th. Shan't bore you with the logistics but beware asking on MN because there's a lot of rhetoric about dragging DC away from their presents, schlepping places and "own little families". Fine of course if you want to stay at home but don't see travelling as the poor cousin of staying at home. For me, Christmas is bound up with my grandparents and the sheer joy of spending it with them. I never felt dragged or bored. I looked at the decorations as we drove or listened to carols or read my new book. And nowadays, my dc are the same. I ask them if they'd prefer just the 4 of us and they're horrified at the idea of not seeing their grandparents and cousins. My final grandparent died this year and I shall miss the joy she brought to the day.

Sounds like you love to see family at Christmas and are worrying about logistics. Children are portable if you want to see family at Christmas and they won't resent it if your family are close and you enjoy it.

Also, really helps to see Christmas as a season and not a day. DH is a copper and had had one Christmas Day off in 15yrs of parenting and we therefore, make it a season of festivities so he can be a part of the celebrations.

No right or wrong way to do any of it. But certainly don't worry. Ask yourself who you want to see and when and make it happen.

CookieCoo · 30/08/2022 17:55

I love Christmas in our own house. One year we’ll have my family and MIL stay for Christmas, which is perfect. The next year we wake up in our own house for Christmas morning, then drive to FIL/SMIL house and have lunch/stay the night. It pisses me off, as it’s a 45 min drive on Christmas Day!! And I don’t like taking my kids away from their new presents 🤦🏼‍♀️

HappyHappyHermit · 30/08/2022 17:57

We alternate between our parents for Christmas day and the other has boxing day. Thinking of adding a 3rd option of having a it at ours and anyone can join us soon though as dd is 4 and may want to play with toys at home etc. That said I'm really pleased that she absolutely loves spending time with her families and does seem to enjoy that more than presents so far so we will see.

Teadrinkingmumofone · 30/08/2022 17:57

We do Christmas day at one set of parents and boxing day at the other. Alternate each year

drunktrifle · 30/08/2022 18:12

Completely agree with ShowOfHands the one thing from my childhood I wish my children could experience is sleeping over at someone else's house on Christmas Eve, I absolutely loved it, so much fun all piling in with cousins etc. The fact that Father Christmas knew I wasn't at home was so magical to me.

KyaClark · 30/08/2022 19:46

Christmas Eve at home, usually building the main present.

Christmas morning - ILs come over. It was supposed to be for brunch but after putting out all the stops and they turned up having already eaten, it's now just for a drink.

Christmas afternoon - my parents.

Boxing Day - ILs come to my family for a buffet.

troppibambini6 · 30/08/2022 19:49

On Christmas Eve We book the upstairs of a restaurant at 1pm with about 5 other families. Between us we have loads of kids who are all really good friends and at school together. We can walk there so all have a fair few drinks then walk up to the first mass of Christmas at 5pm. All their other mates from school are there and as it's a children a mass it's pretty chaotic! But they absolutely love it.

My mum stays on Xmas eve so comes after mass.

Christmas Day is always at my house everyone is welcome and I love to cook it. We eat late so the kids have lots of time to play.

Boxing Day older kids come over so it's me, dh and the 6 kids and their partners/kids. I only open packets though and maybe a few oven bits. I cook all day on Xmas day so like to relax a bit.

27th day off. I shut the door and put my feet up read my Xmas books and watch Xmas tv while eating left overs.

28th is Italian Christmas. We all go to my mums with the kids and we have traditional Italian
Xmas dinner (usually about 5 courses)

I definitely agree with having it home. When my youngest 3 were little (they were all close together) I got everything from m and s and made it as easy as possible.

mamatoTails · 30/08/2022 19:59

We always spend Xmas Eve as a family, me, DH and 5 DCs. My absolute favourite day of the year!

Christmas Day my parents come to ours,
around midday, and usually stay until 6 or 7pm. Mum & I share the cooking. DH & my dad always clear up and wash up, load dishwasher and sort the dessert.

Sadly my MIL is no longer with us, but when she was and when we just had 2DCs we alternated going to hers or my parents for lunch, and then spend the evening at the others house for a couple of hours.

When we had more DC, my parents just invited my MIL along so we'd all go to their house for a lovely big Christmas lunch.

GettingStuffed · 30/08/2022 20:16

Christmas Eve nothing special until dinner. We spend the day prepping for Christmas. Kids watch TV. Although this year we'll be at MiL's and DD and her DH will be hosting. We'll have a 5 year old and an adult with dementia ( praying nothing happens before) .Boxing day used to be big get together buffet

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 30/08/2022 20:23

We do a 3yearly rotation. My folks live 600miles away, his a bit closer. My folks choice, his folks choice and our choice. My folks usually choose to come to us, his usually choose to have us go to them(and sometimes invite my folks to stay also). When it's our choice we stay home and anyone who wants to see us needs to book their bedroom well in advance or sort out a b&b as we can only comfortably make up one guest room.
Written down it looks really complicated, but it has worked for us for about 12 years.

thefamilyupstairs · 30/08/2022 21:12

As a child we had a large family gathering on Christmas day with my DM and her Dsis taking turns to host. It was so lovely and one of my favourite memories. We grew up and had dc of our own so my DM and her dsis decided to have Christmas in their own houses - except my DM decided she didn't want to do Christmas anymore and "we don't have the space" (DM was early 50s). My aunt and her dc's (my cousins) and their dc have the sort of Christmases that we had and I'm so jealous, it actually makes me so incredibly sad that it's "just us" on Christmas day. My dsis goes to her inlaws and has a lovely Christmas so I can't really bear us being on our own so we've gone on holiday on the Christmas week and that makes it easier.

Mistletow · 30/08/2022 21:44

Ahhh that will be so lovely OP. We did the same before kids but now 3 dc later we host in our house. We did the first Christmas with dc1 in my parents but after that we let them come to us. Still time when they are small to travel around if you want to but once they hit 3 its lovely to have people call to you

BettyOBarley · 30/08/2022 21:53

Before we were married we used to alternate.
Now MIL is single we have my parents and MIL to ours for Xmas lunch every year, which tbh I don't enjoy as they don't particularly 'gel' and DH and I find it very painful which spoils the day for us a little, plus they sit on the sofa all day and don't help out at all so we spend very little time with DC which annoys me. But we can't do any different really. So I def enjoy the rest of the Xmas period more than the actual day!

worriedatthistime · 30/08/2022 22:25

We always went to my parents but only because dh mum never invited us anyway
If she had we would of prob done every other or maybe one year my parents one year them , the next all to ours etc
Have had xmas home just us and it wasn't for me as I prefer a bigger gathering personaly

MuffinFeatures · 31/08/2022 08:33

I love reading everyone’s Christmas plans! We always have buffet dinner Christmas Eve whilst watching Home Alone, just the 5 of us. Christmas morning just us opening presents, head to my parents midday for Christmas dinner with my siblings/partners and all of the grandchildren. Absolute madness but so much fun! We all head home around 5/6 and chill out.
Boxing day we travel to MIL to spend the day with that side of the family, we all pile into her house. It’s quite a drive (200 miles) so we stay a couple of days. Hectic couple of days but the kids love it, as do I 🎄

beachcitygirl · 31/08/2022 08:56

First of all congratulations on new baba.
Time to start your own Christmas traditions.

So one set of parents for a little while ok xmas eve & one on Boxing Day.
Christmas Day in your own house with your own family, so kids can make memories, enjoy their toys etc.
Maybe alternate years at parents or have them drop around in morning or evening to see the kids x

Starlight86 · 31/08/2022 11:07

I have 3DCs from 2-9 years.
Christmas Eve, their aunt and uncle come around with their xmas eve boxes that they have done for them since they were born but pretty much xmas eve is chilled for us, maybe some Harry Potter movies.

Christmas day - now thats the biggie.

Everyone comes to ours, last year we had 21 in total and i bloody love it. I love the chaos and making loads of food. Christmas for me personally is about all the family getting together, eating and playing games.
Family start arriving at 11am, dinner is served around 3 pm and everyone has left by about 11pm.

We have an absolute ball.

DelilahBucket · 31/08/2022 11:13

We make a week of it basically. Christmas Eve and Day is always just the three of us as we don't often get quality time together. We've done the whole "visiting alternate parents" for a couple of years but it just got stressful as we both have split parents.
Then we arrange dates to see everyone. Usually a party at my dad's where we also see my siblings. A visit to my mum and sometimes lunch out. A visit to DH's dad's or they come to us. We rarely see his sister and his mum lives abroad now so we've not seen her at Christmas for about four years because apparently it's too cold