Do you think Christmas as an event as had its day & will it look very different in 5 or 10 years?

[NalPolishRemover]

Reading through MN over the past few days it's struck me how many threads are so negative about Christmas, too much work, too much stress, spending time with people you don't like, hating the gifts you've received, hating buying gifts, hating the traditional foods, taking decorations down on boxing day, erasing all signs of Christmas as soon as possible, not doing Santa, or if doing Santa doing it as minimally as possible etc etc

It got me thinking, most of us have sort of trundled from one year to the next doing what we've always done in terms of our own family culture/ tradition but covid has disrupted everything. It's broken lots of cycles for people. Do you think it's perhaps started a decline in Christmas and over the next 5 - 10 years Christmas will no longer be recognizable?

Given how much everyone was (claiming to be ) longing for their traditional family Christmas gatherings last year, I thought this year the boards would be full of happiness & joy but they seem overwhelmed by frustration.& disappointment instead.

Maybe Christmas is actually over?

I don’t think Christmas traditions will change. But I think people are becoming less tolerant of people who spoil things and are ‘difficult’ in some way. I think maybe family life and pressures to spend time with difficult family members ‘because it is Christmas’ will change and people will feel more free to only spend time at Christmas with people they actually like spending time with. A lot of people are starting to enjoy Christmas within their smaller family units now and I think that might become a bit more commonplace as time goes on.

Yes @Mufasa1118 I am, I think that's why I'm not keen on all the 'stuff'. But I can quietly enjoy what I believe without others doing the same.
A few years ago (when my inlaws thought it was awful that I didn't want presents) I said if they really wanted to, to buy a meal for a homeless person. They changed their minds pretty quickly and stopped buying me things as they didn't want to do that 'because it wasn't something for me.' Thays fair enough, it just shows that everyone has different beliefs.

I’m a Catholic so Christmas is a religious celebration for me. One aspect of that is having extra prayer and thoughts in advent so not just commercial aspects though do that as well.

I also like the secular aspects. We have a quiet Christmas this year but in other years have had relatives. It can be stressful but also fun.
The actual date and some traditions go back well beyond Christianity. If “Christmas” was replaced there would be some sort of winter celebration in the Northen hemisphere just to lighten the mood -new life celebration in Spring - sowing crops and lambing, midsummer and harvest don’t have or have to have religion attached or as much commercialisation.

I’m sure some things will change - less paper cards, recyclable wrapping, different food. However as PP have said posts here are more likely to highlight hard aspects of Christmas or things that go wrong - more amusing, upsetting or needing support.

Nah, Christmas time is the one fun thing to look forward to in the winter.

@NalPolishRemover that is true about the cards
And the ever increasingly expensive and elaborate advent calendars (my mum wouldn’t let us have chocolate ones when they first came out)

And I was saying that I miss the special radio times edition/newsletter TV guide where you circled everything you wanted to watch. I know in theory we’ve got more choice now with streaming and everything but so much of it is dross. I miss having to plan my evening around the time things were on, or set the video recorder.

But apart from that, here it’s basically the same as when I was a child: the meal is the same with the addition of gammon and Yorkshire’s which my brothers in law introduced

I think as a festival it has changed over time .

Firstly as a feast day in celebration of a religious festival .

Then people stopped being convinced of the religious aspect so the focus moved to being around family and friends , so a time when you made sure you saw all extended family and friends you hadn't seen since last Christmas.

Reading recent posts on here from people with young children the emphasis now seems to be on a day in the house with nuclear family , lots of presents and also new traditions such as elf on shelf and pre-Christmas outings .

In some respects I also see concern for the environment and a move away from commercialism and 'tat'.

So maybe there will be a full circle and a move toward simpler Christmases we had when I was growing up (70s).

@Mufasa1118 but what you’re describing is nothing to do with Christmas, you’re talking about nasty, abusive relatives. Likewise all those threads you refer to about people crying and suffering. That crap isn’t a special, once a year Christmas thing is it? No, it’s indicative of shitty relationships and in some cases poor boundaries and low self esteem.

WhatsMyNameGonnaBeNow is right. You need to manage your family's expectations early on in the year, and tell them that you will not be spending Christmas with them next year. Refuse to let them guilt trip you. It sounds like going low or no contact with them would be ideal for you. They will cotinue to abuse you if you allow it, and you need to walk away.

MN has been full of negative Christmas posts…..family arguments, disasters, covid, children/adults not liking their presents and people falling out with their DP’s/DH’s. It does make me wonder why people bother with huge family get togethers for Christmas? I’m sure there are people that have a great time but for us Christmas has changed a lot over the last 4 years. We stay at home, no longer visit those family members that we don’t really like, we had a lovely day yesterday but it’s not the Christmas I had as a child (probably in a good way).

Nope. Mumsnet is not the world.

People like a good old moan online so it's hardly representative. People don't generally start threads to say what a wonderful day they've had.

I think there will be subtle changes.
Things are different from when I was a child.
When I went to school the Nativity was taught as fact. Morning assembly had a religious element.
That is not true today. Religion is not taught as fact, well not in state non religious schools.
The Christmas play (When it happens) is often not The Nativity.
TV is different as another poster pointed out. Families don't sit around watching the ITV film.
Lots of children will be sat playing alone on tablets.
I also agree it will change due to women deciding, no I'm not cooking a huge meal for 12, bugger that.
More and more posters state they spend Christmas day with their immediate family only e.g. Husband and child/children. That is very different from when I was a child.
In the future people will use social media more. Sending messages and video calls rather than cards or visiting in person.

Lets hope all the awful cheap plastic tat, endless amount of 1000's of tonnes of rubbish,food waste will be gone.Lets hope it will be replaced by genuine kindness and empathy for people who struggle in this world.

[quote Mufasa1118]@Comedycook yes at the female drudgery. I felt like a servant on Christmas day.[/quote]
But that's within your power to change. It isn't Christmas that's the problem. It's the relationships. And I don't believe that they're great the rest of the year but not Christmas. Cancelling Christmas won't fix marriage problems

Actually it's switching my opinion the other way. I always said we'd only do Christmas just us and our child because we'd otherwise have to stay over, that's not possible with both grandparents etc etc. Now we are moving we might start doing boxing day with wider family and going for long weekend near the time with further afield family. I'm also considering inviting my parent who always gets less time withr his grandchildren over for a weekend in December to do a few nice things. So my idea of what constitutes Christmas is expanding.

My disappointment this year is not to be able to and stay with friends for new year - that would have been genuinely lovely.

@BlancheB I wasn't actually referring just to people moaning on mumsnet though but to how so many families are dropping so many of the traditions that set Christmas aside from another holiday. Thing as like celebrating the religious aspect, the timeframe in which it's celebrated, the traditional foods etc etc

Will it bear much resemblance to the Christmases of our childhood in another generation or two?

And will anyone actually care ?

My childhood Christmas was very similar to my parents childhood experiences but my dc' s experiences are quite different already

I hate the MN negativity over Christmas. No. I don't think it's a thing that's dying out. We have a lovely time, no stress, no arguments, no family problems.

There’s been a definite flat feeling this year, I think because we were on course for a ‘normal’ Christmas then Omicron arrived. So many plans changed last min & the worry about it

@SleepingStandingUp I'm not married. Why did you assume that I was? I'm single

@Mufasa1118 I think it is because you wrote this - "If you are forced to spend the day with people you don't like (parents, inlaws), it is an awful forced day."

Please stand your ground and don't visit your family next year.

No. People who are having a great Christmas aren’t the people hiding in their bedrooms on MN. And there’s been difficult emotions around Christmas for a couple of decades at least: read Bridget Jones diary for a reminder...

[quote Mufasa1118]@SleepingStandingUp I'm not married. Why did you assume that I was? I'm single[/quote]
Apologies, I misread If you are forced to spend the day with people you don't like (parents, inlaws), it is an awful forced day and missed your post. But the general point remains. Christmas doesn't make your family suddenly awful, it's one example of when they treat you badly. Do you think if Boris outlawed Xmas from Jan 2022 that people crying over Xmas won't still be doing it over some other event? The answer is to tackle the relationship issues or go Nc. And no of course it isn't simple or easy, but it is the only solution to people being upset because of the way they're mistreated

Again my point wasn't about people hiding in bedrooms posting on Christmas day but everyone making changes to the festival of Christmas to suit themselves & will it result in a total change of what future generations understand Christmas to be?

@Mufasa1118

You have a problem with your familial relationships not a Christmas problem.

@alltheusernamesarealreadytaken no I also don't like christmas. I am going to do absolutely nothing next year