Do you think Christmas as an event as had its day & will it look very different in 5 or 10 years?

[NalPolishRemover]

Reading through MN over the past few days it's struck me how many threads are so negative about Christmas, too much work, too much stress, spending time with people you don't like, hating the gifts you've received, hating buying gifts, hating the traditional foods, taking decorations down on boxing day, erasing all signs of Christmas as soon as possible, not doing Santa, or if doing Santa doing it as minimally as possible etc etc

It got me thinking, most of us have sort of trundled from one year to the next doing what we've always done in terms of our own family culture/ tradition but covid has disrupted everything. It's broken lots of cycles for people. Do you think it's perhaps started a decline in Christmas and over the next 5 - 10 years Christmas will no longer be recognizable?

Given how much everyone was (claiming to be ) longing for their traditional family Christmas gatherings last year, I thought this year the boards would be full of happiness & joy but they seem overwhelmed by frustration.& disappointment instead.

Maybe Christmas is actually over?

I think people have more freedom to celebrate it as they wish but I think that was happening anyway. To me things like on demand TV and many channels mean we don’t seem to have the ‘events’ like the Xmas eastenders or the Only Fools and Horses that bonded a generation and also shaped the day. I’m sure anyone of my age could refer to Del Boy dressed as Batman and their peers would laugh.

Even yesterdays thread about there being no Xmas number one was interesting as I hadn’t heard of ladbaby until six months ago and he had managed to have three Xmas number ones. It’s another cultural reference that means nothing to me and my dc. Instead our cultural references are more about minecraft YouTubers and animal crossing characters.

So I think culturally we’re changing, technologically I think we’re more likely to upload pictures of our food than enjoy it! I got no cards this year but plenty of messages.

New traditions have also emerged and been taken on board by some people, but luckily we get to choose the ones we want. I love seeing where people put their elves through December but fortunately never did that with my dc because it could’ve become a rod for my own back. Likewise we don’t do Xmas eve boxes which seems an expense.

Also I think those of us who enjoyed it don’t post about it. I had a lovely quiet Xmas with my dc and partner. We enjoyed our gifts and food and normally I wouldn’t post about it because I’d worry about looking smug.

What's posted on a forum is in no way comparable to RL. It's usually mostly the negative that gets posted online.

If everyone posted that they had a mint one, with mint presents and plenty of grub and drink, it would be replies of think of those who didn't and stop rubbing it in because of x,y,z.

I'm having a great one, it's so nice to both be off work and have a happy contented teen. There's no way I'd want to give up Christmas like ever.

Placing my bets on “Boxing Day boxes” for children- all it takes is one sodding kardashian to do it

Like a previous poster, I've just spent my 63rd Christmas. Yes the festival has changed over time, but my personal feeling is that it has become much better , since a lot of the rigid traditions of the past have been relaxed or dropped completely.

When I was a child there were so many things that "had" to happen , and since we were a small family ruled by an unpleasant mother, Christmas was often an awful time of the year. I'm glad that people today can make their own traditions , and to be as relaxed or as traditional as they choose. But these things happen organically - I doubt that in 10 years there will be a seismic shift to some other way of celebrating the season.

I hope you had a merry Christmas, OP !

Yes, a few hundred people having a vent and a moan on Mumsnet indicates the whole western world is about to give up on Christmas.

Thank you @ShippingNews I'm having a really lovely Christmas! I love all the traditional aspects of it so we do those each year

I agree OP that it's an interesting theory. I wonder if, having had 2 years off the obligatory train, many many people, mainly exhausted women are questioning the format a little. Christmas cards for example are fading away. I used to write 70 or so, now I write 6 for elderly people. Food used to be quite a specific list but now with so many vegetarians and vegans it looks a bit different. Plus I think women, especially the working one are starting to twig that this is a mugs game. I still remember with extreme fondness the year we were doing our extension, had no kitchen so headed to the pub for Xmas Dinner. Sooo relaxing. In the families where women are expected to do everything, times may indeed be achanging...

The more things change, the more things stay the same

I reject your premise that Christmas has been the same forever, and then suddenly changed forevermore because of Covid.

I don’t think people have complained more than usual. I remember my mum and aunts whinging about Christmas back in the 70s, and then gleefully preparing to do it all again. I think that’s pretty much a standard.

I’m also sure that their Christmas in the 70s were different to Christmases 50 years before, in the 1920s.

So I am not surprised that Christmas in 2021 is a bit different to the Christmas of my childhood, with slightly different expectations of visiting, gifting, eating, because things change.

And I expect Christmas in 10 years time to look a little different again, because things don’t stand still.

I love Christmas, especially Christmas Eve and the magic my 8 year still revels in but that said, we have a low key Christmas doing traditional things like making decs and cookies, out on the bikes, walking - none of the fancy and expensive Winter Wonderland stuff, ice skating etc people think they are under pressure to do. We stay at home, just the three of us and it's a relaxed day pleasing ourselves. Reading the threads on here, I am amazed how many people feel forced into spending the day with people they despise or who don't appreciate them, totally ruining the day. If that happened, I would hate the season too.

I wondered similar OP.

With people becoming more concerned about the environment too I wonder if certain things about Christmas will fall out of fashion in the next generation too.

I think people have taken the magic out of Christmas. No gifts or a few from Santa so parents can get the credit.i think that Xmas is different from when I was a kid there is now all the other stuff that has now become part of Xmas....experiences to see Santa,elf on shelf, Xmas eve boxes. I am desperate to get all the decorations away to as they do my head in after Xmas as I think once Xmas day is over then it's time to put them away. I was never arsed about the religious element of it so that's went unchanged.

I've seen a growing number of people bringing in more traditional aspects of Christmas over the past few years - making their own wreaths, filling their homes with beautiful fresh foliage, baking more etc. It makes a very special time even more wonderful. Christmas will never lose its magic.

Yes I think Christmas will be changing in the way we celebrate it. Now we have older DC (late teens).we like to go abroad on holiday, including this year.

I do wonder if there will be a bit of a backlash against the consumerism soon, with awareness of the cynical tactics of marketing, people realising that Instagram/social media is a load of old shit, more awareness of the environment etc. We aren't there yet, you only have to look at the threads here about 'beauty advent calendars', and people talking about how they are never going to use what they opened on 11th, 15th, 21st etc, it's shit that not only do they not need, but don't even want! But it does feel like a shift is overdue.

As for the negativity, remember that people on here only tend to post if something bad has happened (it's like the anti-Instagram I guess!) and there are plenty of people who had a nice Xmas.

I think Christmas will always be a thing as people value time spent with family. Just me and the (grown up) kids this year as I refuse to feel I have to invite others. It was time to connect and relax. Daughter did my nails and make up and dinner was ready when it was ready and we didn't have to have turkey this year - bliss! Christmas is fluid because it is what people make it, but I think we will always love it

I think Christmas already differs hugely between different families anyway so I think it’s hard to say what a ‘typical’ Christmas is. There are plenty of families where Christmas has never been about having a huge gathering; in my household growing up it was usually just my parents and siblings and occasionally my grandparents.

What would you say is the current ‘average’ Christmas in the UK right now? It’s impossible to say whether the ‘average’ will be different in 10 years unless you can actually quantify what the average is now, and I think that would be very difficult to do as traditions already vary so much between families.

I think Christmas already differs hugely between different families anyway so I think it’s hard to say what a ‘typical’ Christmas is.

Exactly this. I've been greatly amused the last couple of weeks listening to the Christmas editions of history podcasts I enjoy. They've all been telling me about Medieval/Victorian/Viking Christmas and in every single one there have been multiple elements which have been very familiar, and which as a family we still do now.

I think if many of us (even unwittingly) are doing things which have persisted over hundreds of years, it's unlikely a couple of years of covid are going to kill it off.

People are negative about Christmas because they seem to have ridiculous expectations about it. In addition they go and stay with relatives they don't like or have relatives stay with them in an effort to people please. Just do what is right for you and your immediate family. We have Christmas with just the four of us, it's lovely and we have made our own traditions. You have the rest of the year to see your family.

it's struck me how many threads are so negative about Christmas, too much work, too much stress, spending time with people you don't like,

It strikes me that there are too many mumsnetters who either like to play the martyr or who aren’t capable of sticking up for themselves and won’t say to wider family “no, we will just have a quiet Christmas on our own thank you”.

@Grumpyosaurus

I had a lovely Christmas Day. No point posting about it, really.

Me too. It was just DH, me and daughters. Daughters have stockings to open first thing. It was all very peaceful and relaxed, we didn’t eat lunch until nearly 4pm, had a walk, then pudding and then we opened presents in the evening. It was a really happy day.

🤣

I think a lot of people that are posting here will be upset about something that's happened - no one is going go start a post about what a fabulous time they've had!

Fwiw, I love Christmas. I love the build up, the festive events, buying and wrapping presents, cooking the food, eating the food, etc etc. This year has been harder than most as we have a newborn in the mix!

@RockingMyFiftiesNot

I love Christmas for so many reasons, yea it's a lot of work but good planning makes all the difference. I think people tend to start threads when they are stressed or worried, most of us wouldn't start a thread boasting about how organised and under control we are, so you're probably seeing a very skewed view

Yes, this.

MN and other SM was the same long before covid, as the people who reach out for support or advice tend to be the ones having a more challenging time.

If people seem more stressed now, it's because of the usual Christmas stresses combined with the uncertainty and massive disruption that covid has caused on top of this.

It's not like the world has opened up and things are back to normal this Christmas- if anything, the stress and drama is worse than last year as instead of the government imposing a ban for everyone, it's down to individuals to police themselves. This was bound to lead to clashes in terms of appetite for risk and views on taking precautions among families and friendship groups.

And the fact that we're not all in the same position this year because whether we can see our loved ones depends on our and their exposure to covid means that there are lots of crossed wires, disappointment and last-minute changes to Christmas.

I think when Christmas can actually happen properly again, and when we can all go freely to Christmas markets and carol concerts and ice-skating again and when we don't have to choose between different Christmas social events to minimise the risk of ruining Christmas, it will feel far more like a proper Christmas again.

Christmas is as hard or easy as you make it.

If you enjoy cooking and making a from scratch Christmas feast go for it, if you dont then there is nothing wrong with sticking some aunt bessies potatoes in the oven, putting the kettle on for some bisto turkey gravy and having a glass of wine and relaxing.

If you hate shopping or cant afford presents tell people you are not exchanging gifts with adults. If you want to spend the day with just your immediate family do it.

Too many people give themselves pressures around what others think Christmas should be that are not really needed.

To me Christmas seems to get bigger and more commercialised every year. As soon as the summer is over Christmas cards are in the shops and the supermarkets have the quality street tins on display. Christmas music was being played in shops in November.

When my children were small there was no elf on the shelf or Christmas Eve boxes, no matching Christmas PJs. When I was small we had the salvation army coming round the streets playing carols and collecting for charity. Father Christmas used to come round on his float. Children went round knocking on doors carol singing. Everyone used to send Christmas cards now people don't bother so much.

Christmas changes with the times, old traditions are lost and new ones made.