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Original poster

Caught moving the elf

78 replies

Mammaakir · 16/12/2021 23:05

So it was about 9.45 and I thought my daughter was asleep but turns out she wasn't and saw me moving the bloody elf! (We live in a flat her bedroom opposite the kitchen)

She cried for about 45 minutes and now is refusing to go sleep. I told her that santa has set me a task to help the elves as they are little and need some help, although I don't think she's going to fall for it at all she told me she hates me and that I'm a liar that santa isn't real either and the elf is fake.

I know it's coming to an end as she is 10 and other children around her know its not real but selfishly I just want one more christmas.

Have I set my self up even worse or should I just come clean about everything 😭.

I love christmas I just know without that little bit of magic it's not the same.

OP posts:
Imdreamingofapeacefulxmas · 16/12/2021 23:07

Oh no!!

SnarkyBag · 16/12/2021 23:11

Does a 10 year old really believe an elf doll moves by itself over night? I suspect she was already having doubts and is that phase where they know it’s not all real but want it to be. She’s just pissed because you’ve confirmed it!
I think at 10 I wouldn’t have been working so hard to keep them believing but gently moving away from the whole make believe part of Christmas.

Pegasussnail · 16/12/2021 23:15

SadSad
Sad to hear she was so upset and that you are too
💔
She possibly knew though?

ChristmasRobins · 16/12/2021 23:20

Heavens, I had guessed 4-5 before I saw the age.

At 10, it’s totally normal that she no longer believes. Trying to keep her believing is doing her no favours- she’ll be at senior school next year!

SouthOfFrance · 16/12/2021 23:35

Op, you got her to 10 years old without her realising that dolls don't move themselves in the night. That's amazing, come on, give yourself some credit, you must have been brilliant at this Elf on the shelf stuff for her to be so convinced!
Does she have a younger sibling? Would it help for her to now find pleasuring in passing on the tradition? If not, how about she could set the Elf up in her window for passing children to see each day?
Honestly one day you will both have a good laugh over her reaction to this, it will be another happy family memory.

Sally872 · 16/12/2021 23:39

Aw that's rubbish what a shame. Don't confirm anything else though. She will be figuring it out but nobody wants to hear Santa isn't real in Dec.

shreddednips · 16/12/2021 23:40

I'm sorry your daughter is so upset OP Sad I do agree though with PP who said that she's at the age now where it's best to be honest with her instead of trying to cover it. She's nearly secondary age, and she would probably have figured it out for herself very soon anyway.

RicherThanYew · 16/12/2021 23:44

That sucks the big one Op, I am not generally a sensitive soul but this is our last year of our son believing in elves and santa and I know I'll be very sad when it's over. Could you still set the elves up doing something funny and your daughter could set them up for you tomorrow, you could take it in turns and it would still be fun?

(They'll have to yank my 4 elves and box of accessories from my cold dead hands, I have awful S.A.D and the fucking dolls make my mornings bearable). Grin

Senorasurf · 16/12/2021 23:45

I'd say that the elf didn't turn up this year, you thought it was because of covid and you didn't want her to get upset so you've been faking the elf until the real one turns up again. Say lots of parents have had to do it this year and that's why the shops have started selling elves Grin

Lysianthus · 16/12/2021 23:48

OP i think she’ll be fine in the morning. It’s the end of term, she’s knackered, 9:45 I’m guessing is way past her bedtime so she was tearful because she overtired. Don’t worry, tomorrow you can probably come clean, whilst explaining the magic etc, though I suspect she knows from school friends and was scared about broaching it with you.

INeedNewShoes · 16/12/2021 23:51

This is one of the reasons I'm never going to do the Elf thing. I'm too shit at organisation to remember to move it and cover my tracks.

DD seems weirded out by Santa so I don't think an intruder elf would be welcome.

To be honest though, at 10, it's probably time to work these things out anyway and surely it'll save ridicule at school.

Endofdaysarehere · 16/12/2021 23:54

I can see why for you that you wanted another year, but I’m genuinely surprised that a ten year old is still believing that there are magical doll elves?
Honestly, you probably don’t want your dd laughed at by her class, who all clicked onto this being bollocks years ago. And you don’t want her going to high school believing in magical dolls.

LucyFox · 17/12/2021 00:03

The magic is broken, so the elf will need to head back to the North Pole ... perhaps a letter from Santa on Saturday in the “yes Virginia” style (en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yes,_Virginia,_there_is_a_Santa_Claus) or one of these style:
www.pinterest.com.au/pin/452048881346987577/

Or just let it reappear in a couple of days as if nothing happened!

alienbaby · 17/12/2021 01:05

Make it look like a crime scene or pretend the elf has had a tragic accident as a way of ending the narrative

BobbieT1999 · 17/12/2021 01:16

@alienbaby

Make it look like a crime scene or pretend the elf has had a tragic accident as a way of ending the narrative
Cos that won't make her cry at all!!
RobertSmithsLipstick · 17/12/2021 01:19

Time to call it a day, I think.
It doesn't sound as if it's bringing much joy to anyone.

Stompythedinosaur · 17/12/2021 01:25

I think you answered well in a difficult spot.

I think the chances a 10yo hadn't had doubts previously are vanishingly rare. Belief is a funny thing. If she still believes at 10 it is because she wants to believe. Just keep moving the elf and say nothing more.

The year before last dd1 (then aged 8) overheard dp complaining about having to move the elf. She asked me about it, quickly concluded she didn't want to ask her df if the elf is real, and went back to believing. I'm sure you knows the truth really, but she enjoys the elf. It is a present game we are playing together.

Justajot · 17/12/2021 01:28

@alienbaby

Make it look like a crime scene or pretend the elf has had a tragic accident as a way of ending the narrative
Yeah - why not do this and leave her traumatised for life: images.app.goo.gl/6Y1v3eSjy1wRFpZB6

10 does seem a bit old for this stuff.

Blue4YOU · 17/12/2021 01:35

Ah OP I feel for you.
Your DD already knew the elf didn’t move by itself- a six year old would realise most likely.
She wants you to be honest.
Can you be honest and tell her that you wanted the magic to last a bit longer?

alienbaby · 17/12/2021 01:36

@Justajot
😵

Anaximedes · 17/12/2021 02:19

Ten? I'm amazed if she got to ten without at least having some idea deep down that Santa and the Elf might not be real.

Mind you I feel for you if you hoped to get maybe this one last year of her having childhood innocence and wonder. Maybe she did too on some level, hence the reaction. It'll probably blow over soon but some ten-year-olds are into the strop-for-strop's sake age-group, in which case, good luck. At least it was already and not nearer to the big day. Christmas Eve would've been the worst.

With regard to the Elf specifically, thank your lucky stars you are released from that horror immediately. Grin

Contactmap · 17/12/2021 02:42

@Senorasurf

I'd say that the elf didn't turn up this year, you thought it was because of covid and you didn't want her to get upset so you've been faking the elf until the real one turns up again. Say lots of parents have had to do it this year and that's why the shops have started selling elves Grin
Bad advice. She's 10, don't treat her like an idiot.
Suzi888 · 17/12/2021 03:13

@alienbaby

Make it look like a crime scene or pretend the elf has had a tragic accident as a way of ending the narrative
Savage!^🤣🤣🤣🤣
Etinoxaurus · 17/12/2021 03:15

@alienbaby

Make it look like a crime scene or pretend the elf has had a tragic accident as a way of ending the narrative
I’d have put it in the bin and told her to stop being a whiney brat. It’s a phrase from relationships but, “play stupid games, win stupid prizes” comes to mind.
Hellocrumpets · 17/12/2021 08:30

I’ve got a 10 year old. We haven’t got an elf but Father Christmas has been mentioned, as one of her friends has announced that he’s not real and it’s all just the parents.

I have just said that people can choose to believe if they want to, and that it is nice and fun to enjoy the magical feeling. I haven’t gone into specific “yes he’s real / no he isn’t”, and she hasn’t asked; which makes me think she has guessed the truth but is happy to play along for fun.

Can you just say that the Elf was in the way and you needed to move it to clean the kitchen?