Caught moving the elf

[Mammaakir]

So it was about 9.45 and I thought my daughter was asleep but turns out she wasn't and saw me moving the bloody elf! (We live in a flat her bedroom opposite the kitchen)

She cried for about 45 minutes and now is refusing to go sleep. I told her that santa has set me a task to help the elves as they are little and need some help, although I don't think she's going to fall for it at all she told me she hates me and that I'm a liar that santa isn't real either and the elf is fake.

I know it's coming to an end as she is 10 and other children around her know its not real but selfishly I just want one more christmas.

Have I set my self up even worse or should I just come clean about everything 😭.

I love christmas I just know without that little bit of magic it's not the same.

Nearly 10 is far too old for this silly nonsense.

@Viviennemary

Nearly 10 is far too old for this silly nonsense.

This^. A 10 year old is more likely to think about her "first boy/girlfriend then elfs.holding your daughter emotionally back is not advised.she probably cried,because she doesnt know how to tell you to stop telling her fairytales.

My 10yr old is still a firm believer. I feel a bit guilty now tbh. I'll let it get past this Christmas just for my daughter, but next year I'll have to break it to him if he doesn't figure it out by then and turn the elf moving duties over to him so he still feels like he's part of the Christmas magic

@Mamadothehump

10?? I'm sorry but she's being a bit dramatic! When my 10 year old lost her last tooth she asked for the cash up front as "it's obvious the tooth fairy is you" 🤣

OP I’d be more worried about her reaction to be honest. Surely it’s not normal for a 10 year old to throw a tantrum like that? (Or do I have a lot to learn as my kids get older?!). I’d also be getting slightly concerned about her lack of critical thinking!

I heard 2 five year olds discussing the elf this morning.
Whereas the Santa story is broadly consistent across household the elf is not. children are not stupid- these 2 were asking how the elves could be so different. From there 1 step to realise it is all made up.

Adding in silly elf complications makes it more likely for children to know the truth earlier.

Did you not breathe a sigh of relief, I did, when DD found out, no more going to bed, dozing off, then remembering I hadn’t moved the sodding thing,

OTT reaction for a 10 year old.

Santa has been told to work from home as much as possible; so he is busy in Lapland with the presents and training/ grooming the reindeer and has had to find a new way to organise his elves this year. He made the parents do it.

Boris made Santa do that.

DD Y5 and all her friendship group still believe. Its isn't so unusual. I'd much prefer her to be wondering what Father Christmas is going to bring rather than be thinking of a boyfriend!

I tell her people believe in all sorts of things, such as God and angels and fairies and Father Christmas. She still wants to believe in magic so she does.

She's 10 years old! You did very well! Mine realised at 8! Maybe it's a good thing, this happened. My friends daughter made it to year 7, believing in santa! All her class mates laughed at her because she said she'd visited him in the North Pole! (It was a weekend package deal, to the actual north Pole!)

Well, my 10yr old showed me quite clearly he knows the jig, by setting up his own elf the shelf prank yesterday! I'm just relieved he didn't tell his younger brother!! Id put this down to hormones with the mood, she most likely knew it wasn't real for a couple of years now! I'm still doing the elf for a minute for his brother, although as he's 9 so it will definately be the last year. the elves aren't moving daily we are gently moving away from the santa and elves as they get older so its not depressing, just no santa visit replaced with ice skating this year etc. I for one will be glad when the elf drama is gone, if I had my time again I wouldn't have started! Same for santa, the only reason my eldest says he believes is because we would never buy him the big present

Oh op, that's sad but I'm sure she will get over it. She's 10 so would be approaching an age where she not believe anyway.

I have two dc. Ds aged 10 who still very much believes and Dd 6 who's already asking questions!

It’s inevitable that she finds out at some point, and the key to managing the transition is that you’re there for her. A hug and a listening ear is what’s needed now. Don’t let it be a wedge between you. Be the person it’s safe to cry with.

You don’t have to give up Christmas - you can still have love and laughter, presents, and play the Santa game. The elf can still do silly things.

There’s a different kind of magic in being Santa, in knowing the secret, and being part of an ancient conspiracy of secret kindness. Take her to buy a gift for a child in need so she can be a Santa too.

Honestly I’ve found Christmas massively less stressful since Santa was rumbled! It’s not all bleakness and misery on the other side!

I remember feeling an absolute fool when I found out Father Christmas wasn't real and very upset and humiliated that my parents had lied to me and I'd fallen for it. I suspect that's how your daughter is feeling with the elf. I got over it, she will too.

Come clean but explain you weren’t mocking her and now she has the inside knowledge and can enjoy the behind the scenes joy of Christmas. She can think of funny elf scenarios!

I’d be so relieved I could stop bothering. She’s nearly ten. It’ll be fine.

@ChristmasRobins

Heavens, I had guessed 4-5 before I saw the age.

At 10, it’s totally normal that she no longer believes. Trying to keep her believing is doing her no favours- she’ll be at senior school next year!

Exactly this. Ten is far too old to be so invested in a seasonal fib.

Wow you managed for a long time! DS caught me hiding eggs for the easter bunny when he was 6. The christmas after he proudly told everyone that santa clearly doesn't exist and its just mum and dad like with the easter bunny. Hes the oldest out of all the kids in the family. My siblings were not happy.

There’s a tiny bit of me that still believes in Father Christmas even though I’m 43! And I know I’m the one who puts the presents out (and buys them!)

Seriously, you did well to get to 10. She was probably beginning to guess. Part of the reason she’s upset might be that she feels sad about growing up, especially if she has hormones racing…

Although I was (of course) honest with my Dd (13) about Santa a few years ago - can’t remember the exact age she was - I still do say “oh I believe in Santa” just to be annoying really

There was a brilliant thing I saw once about telling children once they reach a certain age the become a Santa, and can start making it magical for the younger ones.

she told me she hates me and that I'm a liar that santa isn't real either and the elf is fake.

I would be telling her to behave.

I’d have said I had to wipe his bottom as he’d had a poo and I didn’t want her smelling it… stuff like that constantly falls out my mouth

She's 10, thank your lucky stars the f**king Elf can now go in the bin.

Perhaps your DD is a bit funny about growing up, and was crying generally for that. DS1 went through a phase of crying about really odd things when he was that age, and I think it was just a fear of the next stage of life and a yearning for the magic of childish innocence that he felt was ebbing away.