Why is Christmas so loaded?

[LiveFromNewYork]

I feel like we place far too much expectation on Christmas and I don't get it. If it's about spending some special time with family and loved ones, why does there need to be a scheduled occasion to do that? Sure many people get some holiday then but we all get leave and can decide how to spend it, Christmas time is when all the prices are most expensive.

Why, given many of us are at best agnostic in the UK, does it carry such apparent meaning for people? Why do we fret that Christmas is ruined because a) or b) might not happen or tie ourselves up in knots about who is doing what with who when. That it's the most terrible thing if someone is at alone at Christmas or not eating a roast turkey with all the trimmings. That a homeless person cannot be on the street on 25th December, but fine any other day.

I feel like the meaning put onto this time of year is completely out of proportion with the event itself and also serves to make people who aren't expecting a warm and cosy one worse about their family set ups. You only have to read the threads on here in Christmas Day to discover the fantasy doesn't match reality, so why do we persist with it?

I do think it's a lovely time for the kids but even that doesn't live up to the Christmas card dream and is a struggle if you don't have much spare cash. Is it just us being manipulated by rampant consumerism? Is it because it's such a dreadful time of year weather wise? Genuinely interested!

Because Christmas isn't just one day a year, but the one day (or really days) from our whole lives. Christmas to me (I'm 59) is memories of sleeping by the tree in a one bedroom flat when we had to move when I was 7; that special doll I got one year from my god mother; the tradition of me and my dad hunting down the perfect tree; when my ex pat parents gathered other ex pats to celebrate the day every year and so on. It was the one holiday that I travelled 3600 miles to be with family.
You inherit the traditions of your family that goes back generations, and create new ones. Of course it's not ok for the homeless to be homeless on any day, but on Christmas Day, when Mary and Joseph themselves had to seek shelter in a stable, it has special poignancy, and we count our blessings and be thankful for what we have.

It’s the only time when we all have a full week off at the same time and everything is closed so we spend time together. Everything stops and you get the only real rest you get all year.

Because Xmas is the one time of year when everyone has at least some time off. Because schools are out yet fewer people go abroad. Families who live apart have the chance to get together.

Because with months of bad weather coming up, it's good to have something to celebrate.

It would be almost impossible to get time off together for myself, my two daughters and their families so thank goodness for Christmas and easter as they are the only times we can manage it.

I agree with you OP but I think that people ( even if agnostic/ atheist) embrace it as winter is so dismal that people need something to look forward to , regardless that so many go into debt to finance it and often end up falling out with family.

I don't honestly know OP. I enjoy Christmas - the days off work, the special food, the decorations, the Christmas carols even though I'm not religious.

The rest of it just seems to be an enormous millstone of wife-work and the cause of much stress and anxiety. But then if people start planning their Christmas day starter in August and buying presents for 75 people (both of which I have witnessed on Mumsnet) then they honestly only have themselves to blame for getting so wound up by it.

@Angelton

It’s the only time when we all have a full week off at the same time and everything is closed so we spend time together. Everything stops and you get the only real rest you get all year.

Not much is closed ! Working in the NHS we are definitely not closed

Because it’s cold and dark outside but everyone’s off. Christmas itself is a couple of days but nobody really does any work after the first two weeks of December, lovely and relaxing for people who don’t work in Christmas related industries/vital services.

Also r.e being lonely it’s probably because those who don’t have family might be alone for a week at least when everyone else has left. It’s not just Christmas Day.

Most countries have one festival like this if not Christmas something else.

I think it’s about adapting to the changes in your life each year - I’m now at the stage where I have no children at home and no grandchildren yet so Christmas for me is very different.
As I’ve gotten older it has lost a lot of its spark and meaning and I’m aware of the commercialism of it all - but I assume when I get grandchildren I’ll be back to wanting the whole shebang.

It was a festival before Christianity. People like festivals which mark the seasons, and Christmas is a celebration involving good food, lights and cheer in the dark winter months. I think it's a shame we don't have more seasonal festivals tbh. Getting hugely stressy and spendy about it is really not compulsory.

There has been a midwinter festival, occurring in roughly the same week of the year, for thousands of years.

Humans, particularly those more affected by the tilt of the earths axis, have felt the need to get together and commemorate it for a very, very long time.

There is an instinct to mark the solstices.

@witsendeverytime

Because Christmas isn't just one day a year, but the one day (or really days) from our whole lives. Christmas to me (I'm 59) is memories of sleeping by the tree in a one bedroom flat when we had to move when I was 7; that special doll I got one year from my god mother; the tradition of me and my dad hunting down the perfect tree; when my ex pat parents gathered other ex pats to celebrate the day every year and so on. It was the one holiday that I travelled 3600 miles to be with family. You inherit the traditions of your family that goes back generations, and create new ones. Of course it's not ok for the homeless to be homeless on any day, but on Christmas Day, when Mary and Joseph themselves had to seek shelter in a stable, it has special poignancy, and we count our blessings and be thankful for what we have.

Very well written.

at the "everyone's off work" comments! That's a bit short-sighted isn't it?

Would the homeless, hungry and lonely be better off without Christmas? The way I see it Christmas is an ideal that everyone strives for and it makes them better. No night should be spent in the cold or hungry or lonely- Christmas gets people thinking about what they can do to help. Donate, volunteer etc.

Cultures all around the world have celebrations that bring people together and are incredibly important to people. It’s been the same throughout history.

Maybe there’s something in the human psyche that needs this type of collective experience?

@witsendeverytime

Because Christmas isn't just one day a year, but the one day (or really days) from our whole lives. Christmas to me (I'm 59) is memories of sleeping by the tree in a one bedroom flat when we had to move when I was 7; that special doll I got one year from my god mother; the tradition of me and my dad hunting down the perfect tree; when my ex pat parents gathered other ex pats to celebrate the day every year and so on. It was the one holiday that I travelled 3600 miles to be with family. You inherit the traditions of your family that goes back generations, and create new ones. Of course it's not ok for the homeless to be homeless on any day, but on Christmas Day, when Mary and Joseph themselves had to seek shelter in a stable, it has special poignancy, and we count our blessings and be thankful for what we have.

Beautiful comment. I agree completely. It still feels special in some way, no matter where I am or what I'm doing.

I agree with the comment about marking the solstices. For me the turning of the year is the most important part of midwinter. I'm not a Christian though so perhaps see things differently to some people.

Sometimes I think we hype it up that the day becomes a let down.
But I love the excitement, the lights, and I usually love my hour in the church. It's when I have time to think about the year ahead.

I guess the other thing I'd having 'something' to celebrate that isn't focused on an individual like a birthday.

@A580Hojas

at the "everyone's off work" comments! That's a bit short-sighted isn't it?

why?

I understand what you are saying op. I loved Christmas as a child, I have lots of happy memories of childhood Christmases. I do enjoy the festive season to some degree, I like eating and socialising with family and friends. I’m a teacher, so I enjoy decorating the classroom, class parties, giving pupils little treats and various other traditions.

I find the whole commercialism is too much now though. It’s very competitive on social media; photos of tree buying, elves, Christmas Eve boxes, trips to over priced Christmas Markets, etc. I have a few children in my class who will not have happy Christmases and I feel like the weeks leading up to the holidays are overwhelming for them listening to what other children have/get up to. Expectations are so high now. Domestic abuse rises during the Christmas holidays. Many parents go into debt trying to create a perfect day/season. We have days in January called blue Monday where people are sad about receiving their massive credit card bills.

I don’t have children and for DH and I, the Christmas period is enjoyable because we are both lucky to get a fortnight off work together. We climb snowy mountains, chill at home and visit relatives. We don’t buy each other gifts, spend excessive amounts of money, overeat or do anything particularly special as we are fortunate to be able to treat ourselves to nice experiences, food shopping and things we want and need throughout the year. It seems silly (to me) to have a short period of overindulging when I can spread it over the year.

Christmas Day is lovely for those that already have lovely lives. For those that don’t, it exacerbates all of their problems and piles the pressure on to have ‘a perfect day’.

at the "everyone's off work" comments! That's a bit short-sighted isn't it?

@BlackCatz why?

Well, lots of people don’t get Christmas off.

Many people have to work on Christmas Day to keep important services running.

Humans have recurring celebrations. It's a natural part of all cultures we've ever known anything about. As for why that... Im not completely sure.

I think your question is very interesting, from an anthropological stand point. You've inspired me to go and do some reading. Thanks OP.

@Goatinthegarden

at the "everyone's off work" comments! That's a bit short-sighted isn't it?

@BlackCatz why?

Well, lots of people don’t get Christmas off.

Many people have to work on Christmas Day to keep important services running.

That doesn't mean other people can't be happy about having time off

@witsendeverytime What a gorgeous post.