Why is Christmas so loaded?

[LiveFromNewYork]

I feel like we place far too much expectation on Christmas and I don't get it. If it's about spending some special time with family and loved ones, why does there need to be a scheduled occasion to do that? Sure many people get some holiday then but we all get leave and can decide how to spend it, Christmas time is when all the prices are most expensive.

Why, given many of us are at best agnostic in the UK, does it carry such apparent meaning for people? Why do we fret that Christmas is ruined because a) or b) might not happen or tie ourselves up in knots about who is doing what with who when. That it's the most terrible thing if someone is at alone at Christmas or not eating a roast turkey with all the trimmings. That a homeless person cannot be on the street on 25th December, but fine any other day.

I feel like the meaning put onto this time of year is completely out of proportion with the event itself and also serves to make people who aren't expecting a warm and cosy one worse about their family set ups. You only have to read the threads on here in Christmas Day to discover the fantasy doesn't match reality, so why do we persist with it?

I do think it's a lovely time for the kids but even that doesn't live up to the Christmas card dream and is a struggle if you don't have much spare cash. Is it just us being manipulated by rampant consumerism? Is it because it's such a dreadful time of year weather wise? Genuinely interested!

I agree with the poster. I was nursing over 40 years,I got one Christmas off,in all that time.

But, in response to the exact OP : it is what you make it, and has literally nothing to do with an 'outside' dream.
It is personal, either a comfort or a nightmare, but it is yours and yours only. It will be remembered forever by little ones, and that is important to me, even though im not a parent. I was a child once, and it was magical!
We seem to learn what xmas is to us when we are very young - and it sticks.

It makes no sense to even have an interest in how other people celebrate it or what they spend. Only comparisons create negativity, or forcing oneself to be around unpleasant people. For anyone stuck with that, it must be difficult. It places incredibly pressure on parents to spend, a bullet ive dodged but do empathise with.

Angelton Very few people gat a week off, the shops are definitely not shut for a week and neither are the cinema's, leisure centre's, Vet's etc

It’s a week in the dark and cold right at the end of the year when traditionally all my family would get together, several days on the trot and just spend time together. Board games, watching films, feasting and the religious elements as well. There’s a sense of community knowing that lots and lots of other people are doing the same traditions as well. When I was young it was a time when shops properly shut and you had to stock up on milk cause everyone had a break and things were closed. As an office worker it’s the one week where no-one sends you an email, expects you to check your messages while on holiday or plans any meetings that you have to catch up on - a proper, guilt free bit of time off. I agree that there’s too much pressure on the ‘day’ but I just do the bits that make me happy.

@han01uk

So many people saying it's the one time everyone gets to be together!! 🤦‍♀️ I'm a nurse and have never had both Christmas Day and Boxing Day off in my 16 years in the NHS. Nothing stops. Even shops only close for 1 day now. This year I'm doing nights in the run up to Xmas day, then working new year night shift

Sigh no one has said every single person is off. We aren’t stupid we do know it’s of people work over Christmas - but actually most don’t. I was a nurse for 26 years and worked many many Christmas’s, but I understood most people didn’t!

I think Christmas 'expectations' are fueled by media hype
you must do this, that, tother
you must buy shit loads of stuff to show off on social media
you must buy overpriced perfumes/aftershave

Why, given many of us are at best agnostic in the UK, does it carry such apparent meaning for people?

I find this such a bizarre question. Surely it's not surprising that people find meaning in a family-centred celebration which is traditional in their culture, when they have celebrated every year since early childhood and is suffused with memories?

Throughout human history, people have needed and loved ritual, tradition, celebration etc. It brings people together and gives us shared cultural experiences. Why would you want to ditch those essential human experiences just because you don't believe in a deity? I'm a staunch atheist, child of atheists, and I absolutely love Christmas, because I am culturally Christian. I will be singing carols with my choir in a church on Monday night. It will be lovely and give me goosebumps even though I don't believe the words.

@A580Hojas

at the "everyone's off work" comments! That's a bit short-sighted isn't it?

Do you also think it's short sighted the people saying it's time to spend with family, because no everyone has a family? Or is it short sighted to say it's a day to spend at home, because not everyone has a home? Ffs people are allowed to celebrate and be happy about stuff without having to always think about people who don't get to enjoy the same things as them!

Capitalism. I love the quote "Tradition is peer pressure from dead people".

The only days I have off are Xmas Eve and New Year’s Eve! Working 10 hour shifts on all the other days (nights!) in a care home. No rest for the wicked!

@Keke94LND is the ‘everyone’ comment that’s shortsighted. Unless you actually believe ‘everyone’ is home for Xmas?

Better to say “many people” or “most people” but “everyone” is a bit of a kick in the teeth to all the drs, nurses, police, armed forces, paramedics, firefighters, carers, energy workers etc etc who are seemingly forgotten about in the comment. Who gives a fuck about them eh?

I dread Christmas. My father dropped dead three days prior to Christmas Day. My mother tried to carry on, as if it hadn't happened.
I remember opening the presents he'd chosen for me and written the labels for. My mother watching me and screaming that it was my fault he was dead, because I was a girl, and not the boy they wanted. My sister pinching me and saying "told you so".
I used to get away from the house and sit with our stock animals, who always seemed happy to see me.
Seventy-five years on, I still prefer animals to people, but I have good masking skills, honed over a successful professional career.

God how awful, Astrak . I hope you have some lovely animals to spend the Christmas period with.

As an atheist I dont give a fig about the religious meaning attached to my winter festival that is generally referred to as Christmas.

[quote Moaningturtle]@Keke94LND is the ‘everyone’ comment that’s shortsighted. Unless you actually believe ‘everyone’ is home for Xmas?

Better to say “many people” or “most people” but “everyone” is a bit of a kick in the teeth to all the drs, nurses, police, armed forces, paramedics, firefighters, carers, energy workers etc etc who are seemingly forgotten about in the comment. Who gives a fuck about them eh?[/quote]
I assume when people have said 'everyone' they are talking about 'everyone' that they know/in their families and therefore perhaps there are no police, nurses, drs etc etc etc in their families and therefore 'everyone' to them, has time off? And btw I do have Dr's and police in my family, but not 'everyone' does and not everything is always about those particular people!

I don’t know what the weather is like where you are but I find all the tinsel, lights and the looking forward to a celebration so nice at this time of the year as just looking out the window is depressing.

I once read about a native American custom where winter huts were built and then the people essentially went into hibernation in them with lots of drugs and some storytelling until the snow melted. That seemed like a nice alternative.

@Astrak

@Astrak

I dread Christmas. My father dropped dead three days prior to Christmas Day. My mother tried to carry on, as if it hadn't happened. I remember opening the presents he'd chosen for me and written the labels for. My mother watching me and screaming that it was my fault he was dead, because I was a girl, and not the boy they wanted. My sister pinching me and saying "told you so". I used to get away from the house and sit with our stock animals, who always seemed happy to see me. Seventy-five years on, I still prefer animals to people, but I have good masking skills, honed over a successful professional career.

That's heart breaking.

@witsendeverytime

Because Christmas isn't just one day a year, but the one day (or really days) from our whole lives. Christmas to me (I'm 59) is memories of sleeping by the tree in a one bedroom flat when we had to move when I was 7; that special doll I got one year from my god mother; the tradition of me and my dad hunting down the perfect tree; when my ex pat parents gathered other ex pats to celebrate the day every year and so on. It was the one holiday that I travelled 3600 miles to be with family. You inherit the traditions of your family that goes back generations, and create new ones. Of course it's not ok for the homeless to be homeless on any day, but on Christmas Day, when Mary and Joseph themselves had to seek shelter in a stable, it has special poignancy, and we count our blessings and be thankful for what we have.

It's this kind of schmaltzy bullshit that makes it so loaded IMO. Everyone desperately trying to 'make memories'. It's why I hate Christmas.

Because in the northern hemisphere we remember surviving the darkest days of the year with firelight and eating and drinking to keep out the cold and the dark, to show the year will turn again. It's ancient, older than Christianity and loaded with traditions from Roman and Norse and pagan traditions all layered together.