Husband ruining all my plans

[mrswormwood1]

Just need to moan and feel sorry for myself with you all! And possible hear someone call my husband a pig? Will definitely cheer me up 😂
My son is 2 and finally understands who Santa is and that Santa is gonna bring him presents this year..
I've been saving my pennies for months and been so careful about what gifts I pick for my son because I wanted things I know he would love and appreciate
I ended up with about 4 presents for him but each and every one was thought out and special..
I just want to make it a lovely memory for him and us..
only problem is my husband.
About a week or two ago I left my husband to watch my son for a couple hours while I went to the hospital for an appointment (pregnant) when I came back my husband had found a hidden presents and opened it and gave it to my son! I was a bit annoyed but not too unhappy as it was only a bubble bath set so not one of the main presents! This morning however I've woken up to my son playing with the most expensive and the present I was most excited about to see his reaction when he opens it on Christmas morning!
I've saved and shopped and planned everything to make this special and he keeps ruining it! I don't have a lot of money to keep replacing gifts at this rate my little one will have nothing left to open on Christmas Day..

[Platax]

You're married to a lazy idiot. At the very least, tell him to grow up and become an adult and a parent, otherwise you'll be shipping out.

[Geppili]

Narcissistic behaviour. Very nasty. Be careful.

[Happy1982ish]

* He'd never celebrated Christmas before I met him *

How come?

[CustardySergeant]

@Happy1982ish

* He'd never celebrated Christmas before I met him *

How come?

Because, according to OP's earlier post:-
*"His mother walked out on him when he was 2 and his dad remarried a 19 year old who didn't care for him and kicked him out as soon as he turned 16
He never celebrated."*

[CaptSkippy]

OP, he is doing this on purpose. I think he may just enjoy the idea that he has power over you in this way. He ruins yours plans ans you are upset. He is the direct cause of your strong emotions over this and he is loving it.

Get rid of him. Preferably before Christmas, so that you and your son have a chance to enjoy his first Christmas.

[Alcemeg]

He sounds grim, OP, but if I really dig around in your posts for a positive spin...

His mother walked out on him when he was 2 and his dad remarried a 19 year old who didn't care for him and kicked him out as soon as he turned 16... He never celebrated

...is it possible that he wants to be the "happy Xmas parent" he never experienced himself? But he can only picture this being a solitary parental activity?

If that doesn't ring true with you, then the only explanation I can think is that he is a selfish idiot who may be trying to take credit for all your efforts.

[Happy1982ish]

Ah no

He’s Muslim according to another thread

[flashy44]

Knob of the highest order

[ProfessionalWeirdo]

He said my son was crying when he had to leave for work so he had to do something to distract him

What? He left for work when you weren't there?

[Happy1982ish]

@ProfessionalWeirdo

Good point

[diddl]

He really is useless isn't he?

Can't think of anything else to do with his son than give him stuff that he knows has been put away for Christmas Day?

[mogschristmascalamity]

So you have procreated with a twunt.

How is he going to fix it? If this is to work you need to sit down and have a serious chat with him about how christmas works. An he needs to do more childcare.

[mrswormwood1]

Yes he is Muslim
Yes he is lazy and inconsiderate
I was in the house when this happened he wasn't leaving the child alone but my son usually follows him around in the morning and normally gets upset when his dad leaves for work

[DappyApple]

@ProfessionalWeirdo

He said my son was crying when he had to leave for work so he had to do something to distract him

What? He left for work when you weren't there?

Op was in bed as she says This morning however I've woken up to my son playing with the most expensive and the present

I initially thought op had woken before he left but reading again it does sound like he did go to work and left the 2 year unattended.

So op, Did he actually go to work and leave your son playing with said toy before you’d actually woken up?

[Blondeshavemorefun]

What a fucking knob. And I don’t say that often

Why would anyone give a child a present they know is for Xmas

[HoardingSamphireSaurus]

@mrswormwood1

Yes he is Muslim
Yes he is lazy and inconsiderate
I was in the house when this happened he wasn't leaving the child alone but my son usually follows him around in the morning and normally gets upset when his dad leaves for work

Being Muslim has bugger all to do with it. Don't insult a whle cohort of people by making allowances because of this!

I worked for over a decade with all Muslim bosses. I made them Christmas favours, with Happy Christmas iced on them, making all allowances for strict religious observance (no alcohol etc) and was invited to both Eid and end of Ramadan celebrations. We managed to enjoy that diversity with no issues at all

He is lazy and inconsiderate becasue that is who he is. As well a nasty, self centred and petty.

That you were in the house only makes it worse - he knows how to say your name after all. But he chose to dig around under your child's bed, expose all presents and gift him with one instead of simply asking you to distract your DS for long enough for him to get out of the door.

You really don't have to put up with this.

[nitsandwormsdodger]

Wrap them up again , son will forget and you get See his face excited again , he cant possibly know about santa at 2 ?
Make it clear to OH how upset you are if he does it again he IS malicious

[honeylulu]

I really don't buy this as thoughtlessness and stupidity. My husband is a bit thoughtless and lazy i.e. will find treats I have bought/planned for a special picnic and dole them out to the kids immediately. But he would never give them something that was (or might be) a present.

It seems very much like a way of putting you in your place. He didn't want you to buy expensive present. He may even resent your Christmas planning an excitement because he did not have that experience as a child. Plus when you bought the present anyway with your own money he didn't want you to get the glory of giving the gift so he took the glory for himself.

As PPs have said, it sounds like deliberate sabotage. I wonder if you started putting the presents in a different hiding place without telling him he would "accidentally" search and find them?

[PocketPenny]

My husband is Muslim too and I can imagine him (and his family) doing something like this. Not maliciously but from not grasping the sentimentality of it all. If they knew there was something nice in the cupboard for our daughter, they would simply get it out to cheer her up. I could see them doing this with Ramadan/Eid gifts too. I would still be very upset though, particularly if I had explained it recently!

[SecondClassmyass]

He is just really stupid, as in- not very intelligent.

[Hoppinggreen]

@mrswormwood1

Yes he is Muslim
Yes he is lazy and inconsiderate
I was in the house when this happened he wasn't leaving the child alone but my son usually follows him around in the morning and normally gets upset when his dad leaves for work

Is there any point to him at all?

[Nanny0gg]

@mrswormwood1

I call him "my son" but he is ours both haha

Why do you think this is funny?

He's horrible

[Alonelonelylonersbadidea]

But this was a bit contrived. He deliberately did this.

My ex was Muslim. I am Muslim. Being Muslim has nothing to do with it.
I'm trying hard not to be highly irritated that this is even mentioned as an extenuating factor!!!

[Nanny0gg]

@mrswormwood1

Yes he is Muslim
Yes he is lazy and inconsiderate
I was in the house when this happened he wasn't leaving the child alone but my son usually follows him around in the morning and normally gets upset when his dad leaves for work

So what's the point of him?

[AmaryllisNightAndDay]

He does stupid things like this all the time if I'm honest not in an attempt to be nasty but I think pure stupidity

That is a special kind of stupid. He wants the credit for your effort. He stole your present, the one you bought with your own saved money not even shared family money, the present he was too mean to buy for your son out of family money. He stole it to give to your son himself when you weren't there, as if it was just from him.

That is utterly dishonest and disrespectful. Maybe he really thinks it isn't stealing because everything you do belongs to him. Maybe he doesn't even see you as a separate person but as an appendage to service him.

That is nasty.