Husband ruining all my plans

[mrswormwood1]

Just need to moan and feel sorry for myself with you all! And possible hear someone call my husband a pig? Will definitely cheer me up 😂
My son is 2 and finally understands who Santa is and that Santa is gonna bring him presents this year..
I've been saving my pennies for months and been so careful about what gifts I pick for my son because I wanted things I know he would love and appreciate
I ended up with about 4 presents for him but each and every one was thought out and special..
I just want to make it a lovely memory for him and us..
only problem is my husband.
About a week or two ago I left my husband to watch my son for a couple hours while I went to the hospital for an appointment (pregnant) when I came back my husband had found a hidden presents and opened it and gave it to my son! I was a bit annoyed but not too unhappy as it was only a bubble bath set so not one of the main presents! This morning however I've woken up to my son playing with the most expensive and the present I was most excited about to see his reaction when he opens it on Christmas morning!
I've saved and shopped and planned everything to make this special and he keeps ruining it! I don't have a lot of money to keep replacing gifts at this rate my little one will have nothing left to open on Christmas Day..

[Alonelonelylonersbadidea]

Did you tell him how annoyed you were first time and he did it again anyway?
They're wrapped in Xmas paper?

He is more than a pig.
You've got big problems if he behaves like this. So utterly mean actually.

I'm so sorry.

[LifeInAHamsterWheel]

This is awful and there must be a whole backstory here. You refer to your son as "my son" throughout - is your husband the boy's father? It almost sounds abusive to me, like he's doing it to get at you. There's no way a father would find a hidden present, something really expensive and exciting, a few weeks before Christmas and not know that it's a Christmas present? Especially if he'd already done it with smaller gifts he'd found. What happened the first time he did it? I'm sorry but this is just so wrong and with the other details about you having to scrimp & save to buy the presents etc. it just sounds to me like your in a very bad relationship. I hope you have some real-life support OP

[irishfarmer]

What? That is very weird! What did he say when you asked him about it after the first time? Did he just ignore that they were santa presents the second time?

I am unsure but is he your DHs child (you keep saying my son)? If he is you shouldn't have been paying for the presents alone.

[Thegreencup]

@mam0918

I don't find the buying thing odd - women usually tend to do the majority of Xmas shopping for the kids, its odd that people are saying it's odd lol.

I buy 95% of the kid's stuff and I'm not going to sit and list every sweetie and stocking filler for DH lol.

He will ask 'have you got x this' before he buys the 1 or 2 things he buys because I shop months in advance and he leaves it until the week of Xmas but I don't need his approval to buy things and it would be tedious to have to tell him every item.

That said he obviously KNOWS not to touch the xmas presents before xmas and he certainly wouldn't unwrap things, thats just bizaare.

I buy 95% of the kids stuff.

But I generally have conversations with my DH like 'I've bought X,Y and Z for the kids today'. Or 'The stuff in the bag in the bedroom is for the kids Christmas'.

I also say to DH that seeing as I've paid this amount towards the kids, he needs to transfer money into the joint account to cover half.

It's also not rocket science that something covered in wrapping paper in December is for Christmas and I'd expect even the most simple of people not to open it until Christmas.

[Jumpingintochristmas]

How nasty. I couldn’t be with a man so keen to fuck me over he ruins a child’s Christmas in the process!

[cushioncovers]

What a spiteful thing to do. Did you speak to him about this ? What did he say? Why doesn't he know that brand new toys hidden away aren't for playing with?

[00100001]

Bizarre

[SmolCat]

Do you actually speak to each other?

How can he not know what his own child is getting for Christmas?

If he’s A) left you to buy everything and B) doing this on purpose then why are you with him?

[amusedbush]

What the actual fuck?? What was he thinking? Either he’s thick as pig shit not to realise what the gifts were for or he’s a complete arsehole.

[LadyCatStark]

Why would he do such a thing??

[mrswormwood1]

Ah definitely made me feel better was expecting people to tell me to get over it that my son is too small to care
So all our "house" money goes into the joint account I sort the bills and ensure everything is paid and that we have money put away for family activities and presents like Christmas presents.. so yes the money for presents is from both of us not just me
But I do all the Christmas shopping and planning I don't mind I love it
It wasn't wrapped but it was boxed and ALL the Christmas presents for my son and family members are hidden under my sons storage drawers under his bed that he's unable to open himself.. my husband definitely new this was an important gift because I showed it to him and he said it was too expensive and not to get it
I got really excited yesterday when I found in for a bit cheaper and used my own personal money to buy it for my son so my husband won't complain about the money spent on it
He does stupid things like this all the time if I'm honest not in an attempt to be nasty but I think pure stupidity
He said my son was crying when he had to leave for work so he had to do something to distract him
He also said that I can just box it back up he opened the box carefully and cause my son is only 2 he'll forget about it by the time Christmas comes around (probably true)
Not defending him just explaining

[godmum56]

thsi just CANNOT be all the story. Is your husband stupid oin ther ways?

[mrswormwood1]

I call him "my son" but he is ours both haha

[HalfWomanHalfMincePie]

No advice, just wishing you luck OP - your husband sounds like my worse bloody nightmare tbh.

[ScatteredMama82]

Sorry but I just can't get my head around why he's done this. It's not like your DS came across it by accident so he's let him have it. From what you say he has to go to a specific location, not accessible to your son and get the special item out to give him it? Why would he do that? What an arsehole! He's totally undermining you and spoiling your effort. I think there is more to this.

[diddl]

"He does stupid things like this all the time if I'm honest"

Oh well then.

What is he going to replace the presents with?

[Lunificent]

It’s all probably ok in the scheme of things but he does seem a bit odd. Does he celebrate Christmas himself? Is the issue that he doesn't know what Christmas means to you?

[RestingPandaFace]

Still a knob. He couldn’t think of a single other thing to distract a 2 year old with than a brand new unopened Christmas present (which just by co-incidence happens to be something he didn’t think you should buy) I smell BS!

[JalfreziAtChristmas]

You say you think it's stupidity.. Is he really this thick though? It's on a different level!

[AwaAnBileYerHeid]

Your husband sounds thick as pig shit. I would be livid, I'd also be writing a list of additional toys to replace these and making your husband go out and buy them. Don't let him rest till he comes home with exactly what you've asked him to buy.

[Polmuggle]

OP do you really think your husband is so dim he can't comprehend the concept of Christmas presents?

Isn't it far more likely that he did this knowing full well why it wasn't ok but either having no care for your time/effort and feelings, or deliberately wanting to undermine you having spent the money and deny you the experience of seeing your son open then?

I'm sorry but in my opinion there is ZERO chance this was a misunderstanding.

[EnidFrighten]

The present isn't really the issue here. The problem is that your husband has caused a problem and it's expected that you will step in to sort it out. And the way he caused the problem suggests he doesn't respect your work in saving for and choosing a gift for your son.

'She saved for this and planned it and bought it and hid it - whatever, I'll give it to him now to buy myself a quiet half hour and she'll have to sort it out somehow.'

I suspect this is the tip of the iceberg?

[Shehasadiamondinthesky]

So basically he is too lazy to look after DS properly so he gave him the presents to shut him up. That's what it boils down to. Sounds like he can't be trusted with anything.

[LightDrizzle]

Well horses for courses I suppose.
I couldn’t tolerate being with someone so thick.
You’ll just have to hone your skills in anticipating the stupid things he might do; give clear instructions not to do them; and then bombard him with instruction checking questions: “So if Ollie is upset is it okay to give him a present from the drawer?” Answer: No.
“Can you leave Ollie happily watching CBeebies for 10 minutes while you nip to the shop while I’m out of the house?” Answer: No.
Personally I’m only happy to do that kind of thing for paid work.

[MiniPumpkin]

If you ask me it’s just pure laziness, he used the toy to keep him busy