Vegetarians invited themselves for Christmas- got beef ordered!

[EdenFlower]

So, my vegetarian relatives and asked if they can join us for Christmas? I have it planned- joint of beef on order, I've perfected my roast potatoes and like them cooked in beef dripping, likewise the yorkshire pudding, my sprout recipe is cooked with pancetta, starter is parma ham and figs...and so on! Grrr! Now everything will need to adapted to be veggie because I'm not doing two versions of everything. It was already adapted to be gluten free for MIL but now two more special diet guests is a push.

Would it be rude to ask them to bring their own veggie options with them- nut roast and vegetarian gravy or whatever it is they eat?

@WombatChocolate

Oh and guests at Christmas.....make sure you step in and do some washing up after the meal. Don't be put off by comments that you don't need to...roll up your sleeves and get stuck in.

And if it's someone you know well, look for other ways to help....make the coffees after lunch, unload the dishwasher etc. Do not sit on your arse all day and let the host spend their whole Christmas slaving.

I would absolutely hate it if a guest did this.

@PurpleDaisies

Mushroom risotto is almost as weird as macaroni cheese or lasagna on a Christmas dinner.

Some people really panic when they have to cook for veggies.

Tbf with all the posts saying yuck goats cheese, yuck mushroom, yuck nut roast, yuck beetroot this thread may have made that worse

Maybe us veggies are al just very fussy eaters In disguise!

I have preferences but there’s virtually nothing I actually wouldn’t eat (apart from meat obvs).

Or rather just don't think.

Usually, a christmas do or a wedding will involve the same sort of food as starter and main.

e.g. mushroom starter and mushroom main
goat's cheese in starter and main
beetroot starter and beetroot main

Haha
Just let them join in and enjoy the dinner lol

I wouldn’t bother at all having to mention “you are more than welcome, please bring your own veggies” as I already had a lot in my plate … there’s no rudeness at all being honest.

The mystery with this thread is why would the vegetarian relatives want to come for Christmas with people who so obviously dislike them? Surely they can't know that they are talked about like this behind their backs?!

As a lifelong vegetarian, I spend Christmas with my own vegetarian family. When I've had partners, I just say, you go to your relatives, and I'll go to mine! In life in general, you gravitate towards people like you, and so most of my friends are vegetarians. The only problem comes with a boyfriend's parents. It's usually only an older generation that have a big 'problem' with the notion (although this thread is testing that theory!). The best idea, to me, was just to avoid the whole thing.

Which brings me back to my point - why on earth do these vegetarian relatives want to spend Christmas with their family?! It doesn't sound as if it will be fun!

Okay, to those who don't want guests to help at all.

In that case, there's no space for feeling aggrieved about all the effort required to host the event.

Op is feeling aggrieved.

These family members who 'invited themselves' either rudely insisted on coming without any encouragement at all....and Op should have just said it didn't suit if that was the case. OR they mentioned coming and Op encouraged them. If it's the latter, they have been invited. There really can't be any guests who shouldn't be there, because any host can either say 'no' or 'yes'. And if you haven't said 'no' you take them as they are...veggie, coeliac, whatever. Fine to ask for food contributions or help or whatever, but welcome them and be pleased to see them or just say 'no'. Nothing worse than a host who doesn't want you there but has either invited you, or when the topic has come up in conversation, hasn't been willing to voice that its doesn't suit.

There's always too much martyrdom at Christmas. I think some people enjoy it.

These aren't last minute guests suddenly added to the list on Christmas Day. It's mid-November and there are lots of ways to make a Christmas dinner you love and that can accommodate them too. Your plans don't have to be rigid in stone and totally and utterly inflexible for 6 weeks.....and if they really were so inflexible, you should have said 'no'.

Just decide if you're willing to buy some veggie dishes to shove in oven, or if you'd like them to bring some. Either is fine, but only do it yourself if you are happy to do it. The gracious host is really important instead of the embittered host.

I would absolutely ask them go at least bring one dish. I mean if I’m invited to dinner I always ask what can I bring?

make roasted pots with olive oil & rosemary
& get a can of butter beans serve them with fried onions & thyme
or make a veg stuffing with bread & apricots & spice & mashed drained butterbeans

@QuiteQuaint

We'd got some chips and we were all talking about how thet were the tastiest chips we'd ever eaten. I couldnt work out what the flavour was and it was only after we'd eaten them that I realised the flavour was beef dripping

So many meat eaters tell stories like that. There’s no way I wouldn’t know something was cooked in beef dripping, huge difference between that and vegetable oil. So

Completely agree @QuiteQuaint I would know because I don’t like the taste of meat. That’s why I don’t eat it.

@youjustfolditin do you have room for me for Christmas Dinner and for every other dinner, your cooking sounds lovely

[quote Stovetopespresso]@dotsandco because one day that could be you, feeling at a loose end and Christmas and asking for love and friendship?[/quote]

A) I would NEVER be so rude as to invite myself to someone else's house for even a cup of tea...never mind gatecrash a family Christmas! No matter how bloody lonely I was! (And as it happens I DO live by myself!)

B) If I am lucky enough to BE INVITED to someone's house for Christmas (or any occasion!) then I actually overcompensate by taking far too much food and drink...way more than I'd ever buy for just myself, so it wouldn't be an issue!

What I wouldn't do (because I'm socially aware!) is invite myself, expect the host to prepare a special menu for me, and not even offer to bring my own vegan nut roast (or whatever!)

Because...that's just rude! 🤷‍♀️

Completely different if I'd actually been invited of course...but I'd still offer, and overcompensate! Probably why I'm never short of invitations 🥳

www.ainsley-harriott.com/recipe/roasted-vegetable-chick-pea-salad-with-feta-cumin-lemon/

This is literally one of my favorite meals, would make a brilliant starter for everyone

Oh ffs. Mushrooms?
I could loose the will to live. I adore mushrooms. I am a farmers granddaughter. I know where meat comes from. I work in Brighton for a vegan accredited company. Bring your own bloody own. The op was trying to do her best. Buy Linda McCartney or Cranks.

@EstherTW

The mystery with this thread is why would the vegetarian relatives want to come for Christmas with people who so obviously dislike them? Surely they can't know that they are talked about like this behind their backs?!

As a lifelong vegetarian, I spend Christmas with my own vegetarian family. When I've had partners, I just say, you go to your relatives, and I'll go to mine! In life in general, you gravitate towards people like you, and so most of my friends are vegetarians. The only problem comes with a boyfriend's parents. It's usually only an older generation that have a big 'problem' with the notion (although this thread is testing that theory!). The best idea, to me, was just to avoid the whole thing.

Which brings me back to my point - why on earth do these vegetarian relatives want to spend Christmas with their family?! It doesn't sound as if it will be fun!

Errr, where did I say I didn't like them?

And they probably want to stay with us because I always make them the most fabulous vegetarian food- on their last visit I made a whole gluten free vegetarian buffet in a middle-eastern theme! (despite them being the only 2 vegetarians at a family gathering of 12 people) It went down well to say the least!

If someone gave me a chickpea and rocket salad, however lovely, on Christmas Day I’d set fire to their Christmas tree in protest.

I think it’s rude to ask people to bring their own food when you’ve agreed to host them.

I’ve skipped some comments but it sounds like some posters need to remember that Christmas is celebrated by people of all backgrounds so the cuisine served in different homes will have different flavours, some more so than others.

@WombatChocolate, I think people were responding to your general instruction to guests to help, even when they’ve been asked not to. Obviously OP might want help, who knows? But better to take your cue from the host than insist on “helping” when it’s not wanted.

If you agreed for them to come, you provide the food. The day is 6 weeks away, plenty time to conjure up some yummy veggie food. Otherwise uninvited them because you can't be bothered making the effort.

And they probably want to stay with us because I always make them the most fabulous vegetarian food- on their last visit I made a whole gluten free vegetarian buffet in a middle-eastern theme! (despite them being the only 2 vegetarians at a family gathering of 12 people) It went down well to say the least!

So you’re used to making vegetarian food. I really don’t get what all the fuss is about then

'Hi X, just remembered you are vegetarian! I already have meat etc ordered and cook my potatoes in the dripping etc, so not much is veggie friendly! Obviously I will have a lot to do so can't cook two full roasts, can you point me in the direction of some veggie ready meals that would be nice? Look forward to seeing you all.'

And they probably want to stay with us because I always make them the most fabulous vegetarian food- on their last visit I made a whole gluten free vegetarian buffet in a middle-eastern theme!
Was this in addition to meat residue fare or was this the whole shebang? If the latter they perhaps don’t realise that you’re not up for catering to such standards again because you’ve also got your own roast to cook, so you’re looking at double the work.

If the latter they perhaps don’t realise that you’re not up for catering to such standards again because you’ve also got your own roast to cook, so you’re looking at double the work.

It really isn’t double the work.

*So you’re used to making vegetarian food. I really don’t get what all the fuss is about then ”
It’s literally in the OP: (a) she’s planned her (non-vegetarian) special meal, perfected elements of it, it’s all sorted. (b) she doesn’t want to make two meals. So however used she is to making vegetarian food, she’s still having to redo her whole menu and things she was looking forward to cooking and eating, to cater for two people. And wants to know if it’s rude to ask them to bring their own food. The fact she can cook vegetarian is irrelevant.

It really isn’t double the work.
Two meals is definitely twice as many as one meal