Vegetarians invited themselves for Christmas- got beef ordered!

[EdenFlower]

So, my vegetarian relatives and asked if they can join us for Christmas? I have it planned- joint of beef on order, I've perfected my roast potatoes and like them cooked in beef dripping, likewise the yorkshire pudding, my sprout recipe is cooked with pancetta, starter is parma ham and figs...and so on! Grrr! Now everything will need to adapted to be veggie because I'm not doing two versions of everything. It was already adapted to be gluten free for MIL but now two more special diet guests is a push.

Would it be rude to ask them to bring their own veggie options with them- nut roast and vegetarian gravy or whatever it is they eat?

@MerryChristmasToYou

Pretend bacon is not good

I agree - but then I never particularly like 'real' bacon either. I couldn't get what the fuss was about.

I am quite surprised people still get in a flap over veggies - it was a bit 'out there' 20 or so years ago, but in this vegan/gluten free world I would think it was pretty mainstream. But I gess it depends on the circles you mix in.

Pretend bacon is not good

I only occasionally eat meat substitutes but I like the The Richmond meat free smoked rashers. I don’t think it tastes like bacon although haven’t eaten bacon for about 30 years. I believe not eating animals should trump anyone’s wants for a certain taste.

I don't know how many you are feeding OP but Xmas dinner is where immediate family expect to see certain dishes that you don't eat regularly (such as sprouts with pancetta) and that makes the meal special. It is incredibly rude for your veggie relatives to invite themselves, not offer to bring anything and expect you to change your menu to accommodate their specific requirements. Why should your family potentially miss out on their favourite once a year dishes or you be expected to increase your workload and expenditure to satisfy everyone.

Would it be easier to have Xmas dinner on Xmas eve with immediate family and then have a simpler veggie meal acceptable to your relatives on Xmas day itself? If the whole point is having their company on the big day, a simple meal would free up your time to spend with them rather than spending a lot of time cooking.

I am quite surprised people still get in a flap over veggies - it was a bit 'out there' 20 or so years ago, but in this vegan/gluten free world I would think it was pretty mainstream. But I gess it depends on the circles you mix in.

I agree. Most people I know either don’t eat much meat or are vegetarian or vegan. It tends to be older people who still eat meat every day for dinner in the people I know. My teen daughter is vegetarian and tells me a lot of her friends are, both boys and girls.

Tell them to bring their own main course items. Starter I would go retro and give them melon or orange juice. I’m veggie and always take my own main course items when I use to go to my parents. Including bistro gravy.

@EdenFlower

Surely if you are a vegetarian and you are visiting relatives who you know usually cook a traditional roast on Christmas day then you don't expect the host to provide two options just for you?

Unfortunately some do expect the whole menu to be catered to their needs - but they’re usually the same people who expect every aspect of life to revolve around them!!

@QuiteQuaint

I am quite surprised people still get in a flap over veggies - it was a bit 'out there' 20 or so years ago, but in this vegan/gluten free world I would think it was pretty mainstream. But I gess it depends on the circles you mix in.

I agree. Most people I know either don’t eat much meat or are vegetarian or vegan. It tends to be older people who still eat meat every day for dinner in the people I know. My teen daughter is vegetarian and tells me a lot of her friends are, both boys and girls.

Agree. If they’d invited themselves for dinner this coming Saturday.

But they haven’t. They’ve invited themselves for Christmas Day. Not exactly known for being a vegetarian nirvana. And the OP has already planned a pretty extensive menu.

But they haven’t. They’ve invited themselves for Christmas Day. Not exactly known for being a vegetarian nirvana. And the OP has already planned a pretty extensive menu.

Only they haven’t invited themselves. They asked and OP said yes.

I am quite surprised people still get in a flap over veggies - it was a bit 'out there' 20 or so years ago, but in this vegan/gluten free world I would think it was pretty mainstream. But I gess it depends on the circles you mix in.

Yes, me too. Also the number of posts treating vegetarians and meat eaters like separate species.

Speaking as a vegetarian, I would have no problem with bringing my own nut roast/vegi main and gravy with me and have done in the past. I wouldn’t be bothered if you like your sprouts with pancetta. However, if I couldn’t even eat the potatoes because they were made with fat I would be getting zero f**ks given vibes and assume I wasn’t really wanted there.

So if you want them there try and make some reasonable concessions for their dietary requirements. If it’s too much hassle and you don’t really want them their just be honest about not being able to provide a suitable option for them. (Already accommodating for the diet of your other relative is a valid excuse) I think that would be much better then all of you sat round gritting their teeth at a meal that nobody is happy with especially yourself.

Just agree to meet at a pub for a pre-Christmas meal where everyone can order an option that they are happy with, you can all catch up but no one is getting put out.

*there

Beef dripping roast potatoes/carrots/parsnips are the best, that's how I do mine. 🐷

Your dinner sounds awesome, can I come?? 😂

@JumperandJacket

I am quite surprised people still get in a flap over veggies - it was a bit 'out there' 20 or so years ago, but in this vegan/gluten free world I would think it was pretty mainstream. But I gess it depends on the circles you mix in.

Yes, me too. Also the number of posts treating vegetarians and meat eaters like separate species.

Some things naturally lend themselves to being vegetarian and some don’t. The discussion here is that for the one mass catering meat rich meal of the year - how much should the host be expected to do, seeing as she didn’t invite the vegetarian party?

There have been lots of great suggestions and solutions offered here - but if you have a dietary restriction it’s polite to at least offer to bring something rather than dump it all on the host. I do and plenty of people on this thread have said the same

Also this recipe recommended by a squash loving friends

www.olivemagazine.com/recipes/vegetarian/squash-sage-and-chestnut-layer-cake/

Your dinner sounds awesome, can I come??

Don’t ask, OP will feel she has to say yes and then start a thread to moan about you. 😉

@QuiteQuaint

But they haven’t. They’ve invited themselves for Christmas Day. Not exactly known for being a vegetarian nirvana. And the OP has already planned a pretty extensive menu.

Only they haven’t invited themselves. They asked and OP said yes.

Hmmm, yes, the OP has agreed, but as @LoveGrooveDanceParty says, her relatives invited themselves over on a day when people often follow certain traditions food-wise...and they've a perfect right to do so. If I invited myself to a Jewish friend's house over Hanukkah, I'd expect to be offered latkes, matzo ball soup, roast chicken, etc. If I couldn't eat those items, I'd offer to bring my own food and be grateful if the host provided a few side dishes I could eat.

That's the difference between being invited and asking to come over!

@QuiteQuaint

But they haven’t. They’ve invited themselves for Christmas Day. Not exactly known for being a vegetarian nirvana. And the OP has already planned a pretty extensive menu.

Only they haven’t invited themselves. They asked and OP said yes.

They asked themselves, OP didn’t invite them. That’s what inviting themselves means.

@EdenFlower

Surely if you are a vegetarian and you are visiting relatives who you know usually cook a traditional roast on Christmas day then you don't expect the host to provide two options just for you?

I'm a vegetarian and wouldn't expect anything special for me and I'd be happy to bring my own food. I also wouldn't notice if the gravy is bisto or not so I imagine I'm not like your guests.

Cameleongirl

OP needs to learn to say no. Simple. And if she can’t, she either needs needs to be willing to lower her standards to give them supermarket bought, tell them to bring their own stuff without worrying about it looking rude or cook something for them.

@EdenFlower Vegetarianism is a lifestyle choice. Erm, I'm allergic to meat so no, it isn't always a lifestyle choice!

@QuiteQuaint I agree, but I can't understand why some posters think it isn't on to give them supermarket bought or ask them to provide at least some of their own food.

Personally, I think it's rude to invite yourself and just EXPECT the host to cater to your needs without offering to help them out. It wouldn't occur to me to do that, tbh.

Pop to COOK if there’s one near you and get them a mushroom wellington. Delicious. Do a few roasties separately in olive oil, job done.

I agree, but I can't understand why some posters think it isn't on to give them supermarket bought or ask them to provide at least some of their own food.

Nor me. I’m all for the easy life. I’m a bit suspicious of threads like this about vegetarians and vegans.

Personally, I think it's rude to invite yourself and just EXPECT the host to cater to your needs without offering to help them out. It wouldn't occur to me to do that, tbh.

They didn’t invite themselves. OP should have said no as it’s caused her such stress and she doesn’t seem like she wants to be bothered. Which is fine!

My DD is a vegetarian and I’ve been amazed by some of my friends being so puzzled about what she can eat. Surely very few people eat meat in every meal!

I agree, but I can't understand why some posters think it isn't on to give them supermarket bought or ask them to provide at least some of their own food.

The op herself was the one saying was beneath her tastes to buy supermarket and use bistro gravy.