Help. DD16 NOT A CLUE!

[user1466167893]

Just that really. She is a brilliant, no brands, no needy child. Never given a list ever. Never asks for anything. She has a phone, Chromebook, everything she needs for dance hobby, diffuser, beautiful bedroom. Her birthday was a few weeks ago and totally clueless I ended up taking her away in a hotel for a spa. She loved it but I feel another experience is missing the mark a bit. Much younger brother so tree will be piled up for him. Oh and she has an Oodie (last year's thread save!). Any inspiration out there?

A session with a photographer to create great arty photo of her dancing, that she can have on her wall and be proud of for the next 70 years

An interrail ticket for the summer (or whatever it is now)

A fancy dance experience - Paris or whatever it for her.

More generically but all good:
Bobbi brown makeover and grown up make up collection to go
Go to nearest city w a proper perfume shop and choose one (combined with fancy lunch)?
A great watch (that she can change when she doesn’t like your pick)
A great bag - can be a leather back pack rather than handbag
A great coat (that will last)
A classic pair of earings - hoops, pearls, tiny diamond studs (!)
A fancy charm bracelet

@spagbog5

I forgot an extendable marshmallow toasting fork A birthstone bracelet

@spagbog5

An extendable marshmallow toasting fork wins the thread. I WANT ONE. And a fire. Tis ace.

A PP had suggested a small suitcase and I was also thinking this, then you could take her to London overnight or if you're in London to Paris on the Eurostar. You say that you buy for GPs too so ask for a contribution as their gift.

There's so much here I'm adding to my own list! Shearling Birkenstocks yes please

@StillIncredulous

Also, it's interesting watching so many parents treat their daughters especially as mini adults with the type of gifts they give

Well, at 16 they really don't want Barbie or plasticine.
💁🏻‍♀️

If your budget stretches for it, OP, I wonder if your DD would appreciate a long lasting, ethical brand such as Patagonia over a trendy brand. Useful and completely opposite to fast-fashion.

@thisplaceisweird I can assure you, you won't look back. So warm and comfortable. And versatile! Slippers AND outerwear

Pricey but cost per well will have you justifying it

@StillIncredulous 16 year olds ARE mini adults! You can leave school, get a job, have a baby, get married. I'm sorry the thread made you feel inadequate but there is no need to make anyone feel bad for having a bigger budget or for what they choose either. My almost 15yo never asks for anything and is incredibly grateful for what she receives, knowing I save and shop carefully all year. She can be a little socially awkward and loves the fact I know which brands teens like and buy her those even though she didn't ask for them. I don't have a huge disposable income but what I have I spend carefully and thoughtfully and would hate to think others are judging me for that.

I think tickets to a ballet or dance show would be good. We have a theatre that has some smaller stages where fantastic companies like Blue Boy or Hofesh Shechter Company have performed, fairly intimate shows and not loads of money. If you get stuck maybe her dance teacher can suggest a show?
Then something like fancy PJs or dressing gown.

@AConvivialHost helix piercing is a high risk area for a keloid scar .

You said that your a green household and she is very grounded which made me wonder if she would like something like an animal sponsorship or another charity based gift? If she really doesn't want stuff and is the sort of teenager to appreciate it - I know I wouldn't have been at that age but some are.

@StillIncredulous when I was 16 my mum had no money so for Christmas that year we treated ourselves to a tea out one night- I loved it because it was a treat we couldn't afford and I knew she'd saved up for it, it wasnt expensive think one of those 3 course for £15 ones! Don't ever feel rubbish about presents, it's just another day and as I've grown up I hate the whole idea of being stressed about money for months on end just to buy a few gifts thats let's be honest will hardly be used! I'm sure a lot of people will agree that actually having a day together when no one is at work/school is actually the best part about Christmas

@kikkomam sounds like lovely gifts. And you are absolutely right, nothing to do with her being grounded. But I lost my job during COVID and I think she's very aware of not asking for things because we struggled a bit and now I am back on my feet I want to treat her but I'm really struggling! I will look at silk pillowcase, no idea about those! I have bought her a silk turban for her stocking as she has madly curly hair!

Make up? A glossy box subscription? Or some other kind of subscription box. They have subscriptions for everything! Stationary, vegan boxes, treat boxes, make up! I’m sure there is something she’ll like and I love getting something each month in the post.

Great ideas here

Loving some of these thank you. Toasting fork is genius as we live in a old house with open fires. Shearling Birkenstocks I am now coveting for myself (big Birkenstocks fan!!). I think the idea of an ethical brand or a brand that maybe she hasn't asked for but maybe secretly covets. I'm going to do some secret prodding with her pals. I have just bought shower steamers off Etsy. But I think you are right, may e I should go for another experience of a different type as she certainly did enjoy her birthday one!

Is she girly? 16 is a nice age for a first good perfume.
I would ask her, though!

There are so many great ideas on this thread! Someone said star projector and I agree it’s a great gift - I had a galaxy projector that I used to put on when I was stressed at uni, maybe it’d help her de-stress if she’s worried about exams?

More suggestions:

• a homemade hamper of her favourite foods
• a new, snuggly dressing gown
• footbath
• Nintendo switch perhaps?
• posca pens (acrylic paint pens, amazing for art, journaling and personalising)
• swan lake or nutcracker tickets?

I always think ‘something to eat, something to wear, something to do, something useful’ is a good mantra for gifts. I hope you find the perfect gift/s for your DCs!

F

My 17 year old is the same, she doesn’t have much to open but when I ask her she says “don’t worry, I don’t need anything”, she hates getting things she won’t use. I have bought her…

A oodie (she does already have one but this ones better).
Pokemon game for her switch
Guess who (a bit of a joke as she loved this when little).
2 pokemon T-shirt’s
Lava lamp
Kinder selection box
Amazon fire stick

She has asked for lush body spray but I’m not sure I want to spend £20 on snow fairy spray 😬

@spagbog5 can I ask what candle kit you’ve gone for? Struggling to find one that isn’t very expensive or too ‘young’ looking.

@StillIncredulous

I have to work really hard on remembering that I believe and wish to bring my children up similarly, that the acquisition of "things" is not an aim, they can all be stripped away in an instant. But I understand why parents feel under pressure to provide them, and children feel entitled to receive. I wish society measured success more obviously in the internal things like contentment rather than external trainers & electricals. Whilst I don't wish to be either parent in 'About A Boy' it's difficult to hold the line in the middle, isn't it? Also, it's interesting watching so many parents treat their daughters especially as mini adults with the type of gifts they give.

For someone who said that others posts made you feel insecure you don't seem worried about snidely judging other people's parenting. Some people have spare money and enjoy spending it on their children. There is nothing wrong with that.

The bit about treating daughters as mini adults is both passive aggressive and weird considering the daughters in the OP and in the post you seemed so upset by are both 16 - pretty much mini adults, who could legally get married, have a baby and join the army if they wanted.

Plus @aconvivialhost's post listed as presents slippers, trainers, a scarf and kindle (so basically books)...none of which seem at all ostentatious, nor age inappropriate.... seem really sensible presents to be honest and ones that clearly show that she knows her daughter well rather than just generic make up or whatever.

@user1466167893

Loving some of these thank you. Toasting fork is genius as we live in a old house with open fires. Shearling Birkenstocks I am now coveting for myself (big Birkenstocks fan!!). I think the idea of an ethical brand or a brand that maybe she hasn't asked for but maybe secretly covets. I'm going to do some secret prodding with her pals. I have just bought shower steamers off Etsy. But I think you are right, may e I should go for another experience of a different type as she certainly did enjoy her birthday one!

If your thinking of another experience day then Buy a gift sells experience boxes, you get a lovely little book with hundreds of experiences to choose from. Some for 2 people some for 1 ranging from spa days to young driver experiences. Each box varies in price depending on what you want (can get over night or weekend break boxes) they are my absolute go to for hard to buy for family as they get to pick their own, and hace 12 months to book it in.

www.buyagift.co.uk/christmas/gifts-for-children

Things that were appreciated here at similar age:
Bamboo/ethical/sustainable make up brushes
Weighted blanket - really helped with sleep
Paying for piercings
Clothes shopping spree
Tickets to exhibitions/shows
Sho have some beautiful water bottles

Stillincredulous, I just buy my kids one present each. Never crosses my mind to buy more, tbh. They also buy presents for each other and relatives usually turn up with presents, so there is a sufficiency! It's just what you're used to though.