If you don't have a huge extended family and lots of friends like all the Christmas ads on TV

[Monr0e]

Then what does your Christmas look like and do you enjoy it?

I am an only child. DH has a sister but we never see her. I just have my mum, DH's dad and step mum live miles away. We usually see them for an afternoon in December. So Christmas is just us and our 2 dc's who are now 11 and 15. I have some lovely close friends but not enough to fill the house.

It doesn't usually bother me, but this year, when I see all the Christmas ads with houses bursting at the seams with family and friends and massive Christmas parties, it just seems to remind me how small my circle is. Probably not helped by the fact I've tried to arrange to meet up with one of my closest friends and she is fully booked with activities, friends and seeing family until the new year.

I know I am very lucky to have what I have
I guess it's just making me a bit low this evening.

I was on my own last year (Covid), and will be this year too. I'm divorced with adult DC who take it in turns between me and exH. Parents are dead, I have no siblings, my very elderly aunt-by-marriage lives overseas.

I absolutely love Christmas, but I'm dreading it this year, it's horribly lonely, I would rather work, but obviously can't as we close down until new year.

So OP I know there aren't many of you but you can still have fun

We have 3 small "Christmases" well go up to see our son and his family , and his wife's family too. Then we go to my dad's who hates Christmas and my sister who works every Christmas day and finally my daughter and her family are coming up for Christmas propper.

What I feel left out is all the mentions of Christmas parties, the closest I get to one is going out for a meal.with my old school friends.

It'll be just me, dd and DP this year, we used to have Christmas with my Inlaws when I was married, they had a houseful and very hectic, I'm much happier having a small Christmas at home in PJs and everything done at my own pace, no enforced board games playing.

We'll have DPs DC every other year, but it's not his year this year.

Those adverts are seductive because they play on what everyone wants a big loving happy family all on good terms and all easy going.
Reality is nothing like that even with a big happyish family there are strains and tensions and someone putting their foot in their mouth etc etc.
The day can be as big or as modest as needed and it can still contain some Christmas magic if you make it. We have a small family and a few days of company but my favourite moments are with the fire lit and a glass of something I really like and everyone just chilled.

We have me, DH and the 4DC and my Dad. We feel obliged to invite him as my toxic mother invites herself to my brothers every year and they don’t get on so much Dad would have nowhere to go. We only see him at Christmas and he is always desperate to get away he basically bolts his dinner and goes.

We used to have the in-laws on Boxing Day but MIL died 10 years ago, I invited SIL for Xmas dinner for about 5 years (she was on her on with DNeice but she always declined) we did Boxing Day for a bit until DNeice starting going out Xmas day and was too hungover to come out so it started being the 27th then nothing. We were never invited to there’s

Another tiny family here - DH's family are abroad and he is NC with his siblings anyway.
Here, I have never had a family Christmas of more than 4 people!
The ads horrify / fascinate me equally!

I also count on one hand the amount of people I have to buy for!

I count my lucky stars that I don't have to deal with a big group of extended family over Christmas!

There's just dh and I plus dd (19) and ds (17). Dh's sister and her husband join us for the afternoon and we have Christmas dinner and play board games. Its usually a chilled and enjoyable day.

@BatshitCrazyWoman
I know what you mean, a solitary Christmas suits some but is hell on earth for others. Is there something voluntary you could do locally for a couple of hours? I've only spent a couple entirely on my own and coped by trying to forget it was Christmas Day - had small tasty snacks all day and a bottle of bubbly in the evening, a long bubble bath mid afternoon, started a new bestseller I'd saved for the day and bought a couple of good films off Amazon. I found that planning the day (I divided it into 2-hr chunks) helped get me through it as well. I hope you come up with some ideas to help you through it - you could start a thread on here on the day for others in the same situation 💐

@viques

What all those huge family Christmas ads don’t show :

The three days of cleaning the host family does before and afterwards

The mountain of rubbish the host family has to sort and cram into their bins

The washing up

The washing up

The endless drinks, cups, glasses, plates, the washing up.

The fridge crammed with mysterious foil packages piled on top of each other like a metallic avalanche waiting to crash down.

The traumatised pets who just want to be left alone

The tearful overtired children

The sleeping guest blocking the tv screen/ snoring so loud you need subtitles

The tearful overtired hosts

The uncomfortable seating arrangements for everyone apart from the snoring guest (see above)

The piles of coats and shoes that everyone keeps tripping over.

The unnamed Tupperware boxes that are never reclaimed

The unnamed Tupperware boxes that need to be found and washed now because the Aunties are setting off.

Small Christmases are best. I am having this made into sparkly badges for next year : S.C.A.B.

this is the truth! I have a huge family and as a middle aged woman any family events obviously involve endless cooking, hosting and cleaning. I can't abide it, just NO! We do see everyone over Xmas but Xmas day MUST be just 4 or I've said I'll go to a hotel haha The kids prefer it because we don't get dressed and have a really lovely chilled day.

[quote Billandben444]@BatshitCrazyWoman
I know what you mean, a solitary Christmas suits some but is hell on earth for others. Is there something voluntary you could do locally for a couple of hours? I've only spent a couple entirely on my own and coped by trying to forget it was Christmas Day - had small tasty snacks all day and a bottle of bubbly in the evening, a long bubble bath mid afternoon, started a new bestseller I'd saved for the day and bought a couple of good films off Amazon. I found that planning the day (I divided it into 2-hr chunks) helped get me through it as well. I hope you come up with some ideas to help you through it - you could start a thread on here on the day for others in the same situation 💐[/quote]
Yes, that's how I have dealt with it in the past. Work is normally very busy leading up to Christmas, so a few days off not having to go anywhere, just watching films and relaxing, felt quite nice. When I was working from home last year it was more of the same and I really struggled!

I did have a look for voluntary stuff to do a little while ago and couldn't find anything, but I'm going to have another look.

I live alone and only have one family member in this country- my mum. So she will come for a few hours on the day. That's it.
I do get very sad when I watch Christmas films with families in because I miss my grandparents and Dad who are dead now.

It’s just me and my 3DC here, and EOY it’s me and my youngest as my eldest 2 go to their Dads.

My Dad lives 100 miles away and “likes to spend Christmas Day just me and the wife” - like every other fucking day of the year, it used to drive me nuts that he had no interest in spending time with us at Christmas, but we’re NC now.

It’s a bit shit really and I have to delete SM around a week before I get too upset.

I buy myself a few things from the DC so I have something to unwrap, otherwise I’d have nothing.

The only friends I’d want to spend the day with, don’t drive and I don’t drive and can’t afford to taxi around on Christmas Day.