If you don't have a huge extended family and lots of friends like all the Christmas ads on TV

[Monr0e]

Then what does your Christmas look like and do you enjoy it?

I am an only child. DH has a sister but we never see her. I just have my mum, DH's dad and step mum live miles away. We usually see them for an afternoon in December. So Christmas is just us and our 2 dc's who are now 11 and 15. I have some lovely close friends but not enough to fill the house.

It doesn't usually bother me, but this year, when I see all the Christmas ads with houses bursting at the seams with family and friends and massive Christmas parties, it just seems to remind me how small my circle is. Probably not helped by the fact I've tried to arrange to meet up with one of my closest friends and she is fully booked with activities, friends and seeing family until the new year.

I know I am very lucky to have what I have
I guess it's just making me a bit low this evening.

Parents on both my DH and my side of the family are divorced and some remarried. Everyone wanted a piece of us at Christmas, and got cranky when we didn't go to them. So we made a new tradition that Christmas Day was just for us and our daughter. It's lovely! We get up at leisure, open presents in our pyjamas or comfy clothes which meant when our daughter was little she could play with her new toys without being dragged away to get dressed and go somewhere. We have Christmas music playing in the background, have bacon butties and Bucks Fizz for brunch then a full Christmas dinner with a massive turkey and all the trimmings later, just the three of us! We play Monopoly and other board games and watch Christmas movies. It's a lovely, relaxed day with no family rows, or either of us having to drive.

We see the rest of the family other days...

My sister and my mum have both died this year, Christmas (with the exception of last year) has always featured those two, alongbwith the rest of my family .... for the last 38 years!! The Pandora advert caused a lump in my throat yesterday, especially with the sister charm bead.

My brother and I are rather hiding our heads in the sand this year and we haven't made plans, aside from him getting in quite early that he is not cooking!

Hi OP - I’m a single parent and only have my mum and sister who live very far away, so too far to visit ( and my mum won’t now because she’s so anxious). So it’s just me and the DC at Christmas ( and then just me when they go to their dads for a bit). So I know how you feel!

I always also have a bit of a dip when I hear everyone’s plans -I do try and see some friends but everyone understandably has family to see. I’ve found the best way is to just try and rethink the day. And on the plus side my kids seem to like the quiet day, just lazing. I also try to get some stuff in in the run up as find other people have more time then.

Coffeeandkittens, it founds lovely and I'm glad you're having the day you want

Farcry66, my sincere apologies for your losses. I hope you find some peace this Christmas season.

@Beakerandbungle My best Christmas was in my single mum years - just me and my two daughters. We only did it the once and it was a treasure.

Although I am in a loving second marriage, my single mum years always remain so precious to me. It was so special xxx

My DH has a big extended family, there are usually 12-15 at Christmas Day which I found totally overwhelming. We now stay at home, just three of us, and have a lovely time. We see the rest of the family over the Christmas period. We spend the day in pyjamas, watch telly and play games. It's lovely.

I spend Xmas alone with my cat every year because I just can't stand Xmas and cant be bothered with it.

We're always 3 for Christmas.

I'm abroad from my family.

In-laws are arseholes except for one lovely Sil, but her partner is a dick and her little girl is scared of dogs (we have one). So over Christmas we'll meet them out somewhere co the kids can play (same age, get on really well).

We're in Spain and 5/6 January are equally important days, schools go back around 8/9 Jan so we have loads of days to catch up with our friends and do different things. The run up to Christmas is really busy for us, so we don't do lots of activities.

We love having 25th to ourselves, very relaxing even though we go for a big dog walk as well!

I find hosting really stressful, even an informal mate and her kid popping over for a pizza. So it suits us.

My childhood Christmases were always parents + me and Dsis. DH is one of 6, so his Christmas was busy, noisy, fun, busy etc. He's happy with our quiet day as well.

Big hugs for those of you who've had a shit time recently x

My mum was a single parent and growing up it was always just the 2 of us. I loved Christmas and I always remember having the best times with her. I still love Christmas. I think I was feeling a bit sorry for myself as my friend is already fully booked with activities every weekend and not able to see me and it got me overthinking about how busy everyone else seems to be in the run up and on the day.

Ours is a very very small Christmas. I do get pangs of guilt for the dc. But they seem to like the no pressure, relaxed day, food exactly how they like it. Tv how they like it.
We have no one who they would feel comfortable with to be in their pjs and relax like that. So for them it’s perfect.

Don't fall for the ad's, the reality is 1-2 frazzled cooks/hosts, bickering kids and adults , broken toys etc etc. Enjoy your family without all the pressures of entertaining when you barely get to see your kids!

The grass is always greener on the other side.

When I was much younger, it was just me, my mum and 2 sisters. We'd always get pyjamas fir Christmas (amongst other gifts) and me and my sisters would put them on and my mum let us eat Christmas dinner in them. It was so cosy and comfy. I loved it. The whole day was great because it was a special day but low key.

Now that I'm older and me and DH have kids all the relatives want to see, half of Christmas day is spent at his mum's with a fuck tonne of relatives and the other half at my mum's with my sister's and partners. We have to get all dressed up and it feels a bit rushed when the kids open their presents in the morning.

I would rather stay home all day in my pyjamas.

This is going to be the first Christmas Day I've ever had where it'll just be me and my DD. I've started wondering how we'll fill our time once her gifts are unwrapped - I doubt her Dad will be visiting, sadly, and his family are crap.

Probably a winter walk, lots of chocolate and playing with her toys, then after she's gone to bed I'll nail a bottle of red wine and watch shit TV.

It’s been me and my DCs for a long time. They get their present from Santa at the bottom of their bed (tradition, started it to gain me a little more sleep when they were young), downstairs together, unwrap rest of pressies in front of Santa Blessed’s choice of songs.

Breakfast is chocolate while waiting for sausages sandwiches. Make dinner later on while they play with their new stuff.

Pull crackers, stick on paper hats, eat dinner, watch a movie. Bed. Sorted

Our family is not that large and quite spread out. My mum lives abroad and my brother always goes to his partners. Sister in law and family also love overseas. We sometimes go to in laws but my kids love having Christmas just the 4 of us. It's just really chilled. We do presents, have a roast, play a game & watch TV. Embrace it if you can. We're having a bigger family do this year, still only 10 if us, but am already missing the relaxed vibe!

While I had lots of fa ily growing up, we always had Christmas on our own and I would feel overwhelmed and chaotic with so many people, I think it actually takes away the magic for me.

Due to work I hardly ever spent Christmas with extended family, we still have a lovely time.

I see the adverts and only thing of “no way I could enjoy the meal or presents”. Far too much washing up and clearing away. No peace for a a nap or a bit of quite time.

Home alone this year, DD is at her dad's. The years she is not with me, I am a bit wobbly on Christmas Eve, but then after that, it's just a day really and then it's done. The Christmases when it's just the two of us are lovely but very different to the ones I had growing up with family round, although I make it as special as I can for us.

I used to get pangs of pain at the ads as well!!

My ideal is a larger Xmas with lots of buzz and I've had one or two like that in my entire life.

The thought of a big, noisy household at Christmas horrifies me , DS is an only DC and I've just realised that he has never spent a Christmas with other DC ... usually just one or two elderly relatives join us ... but he's actually said how much he appreciates a quiet and calm household after visiting friends who have siblings !

I love a peaceful Christmas .

Having said that op, once I've sat around a table with dh and 8 members of his family thinking once it Would be nice and it wasn't. No. One. Said. A. Word.
It was bloody awful!
So yes sometimes it's not all simple.

You can’t possibly be serious in thinking an advert is reflective of real life!

I also grew up with a very small family - mum dad n brother so Xmas was always quite relaxed. No running round everyone. We suited ourselves and always had lonely times. I’m
Now married and my husband has a Lot of family. If I’m honest sometimes I struggle a bit in all the chaos and noise !! I think I prefer the calm quiet better but am grateful for all the ppl we are blessed to have !

We have always spent Christmas Day just the 3 of us here (DP, DC and I). DP has a large family but I love how relaxed it is when we can stay in our pyjamas until lunch, gorge on chocolate and I don’t have to impress anyone with my cooking.
I get really overwhelmed very easily when there are a lot of people, it never turns out the way I planned it, so I’m really happy just slobbing around with no extra company

Bloody hell I mean lovely times !!! Not lonely !!

I think it would be my absolute nightmare to have to ‘do’ Christmas for huge numbers of family and friends. The maximum I have had to cater for on the day is 6 - dh and I, our 3dc - two have left home this year, so don’t know how that will pan out - and my Mum, when she was alive. That was a nice number. We usually did NY with dh’s parents, both gone now, and other members of his family who gathered at their house.

I’m an only child, so was never used to big gatherings. I have happy memories of Mum, Dad and I just hunkering down with food and TV for the Xmas period!

We always arrange to do little get-togethers with relatives/friends before Christmas or between Xmas and NY. Much more manageable!