Is it ever fair to spend more on one child?

[Footballkids]

I have a 13yo and a 6yo.

I'm thinking that we are going to end up spending more on the 13yo this year. There are a few things I'd like to get him, they are all quite expensive, but some are clothing items. A branded hoodie from JD for example can be pricey so stuff like that is usually given as gifts.

My 6yo really doesn't need anything, but will end up with a nice few presents as toys are cheaper and some things can be bought second hand and he'd never know the difference. So his gifts will actually look like more. Youngest tends to get more clothing bought throughout the year because it's cheaper, grown out of faster and cheaper aside to buy for.

Anyway I'm rambling but I'm sure you'll know what I mean.

We have never worried about the amount being spent, that isn’t how gift giving works. The emphasis has always been getting the children the things they want most (within reason) or lovely gifts that are a surprise but thoughtful. They do not ever sit and work out the cost of their presents and compare them, which I would find inappropriate and greedy. They are more concerned with having a similar number of presents to open than the cost.

Over the years it all evens out, it isn’t the same child getting the more expensive gift each year.

It will all even out over the years. Teens are way more expense than six year old.

Ime fair doesn't mean =in £££
Ds 17 is size 12 shoes. Trainers never less than £100.
Ds 7 I pay 20 quid!
Both get trainers = fair.

My older 2 are having a lot more spent on them then the 3 year old. They wanted switch lites at 200 a pop, plus games, cases and other bits/sticking fillers. My 3 year old is happy for b&m 2 for 20quid barbies and dolly's. I'm not going to spend 300-400 on that, my house would be filled! I've explained to the older 2 their piles will be much smaller then their sister but they've had double her budget. I'm sure it will all even out over the years!

I dont spend the same on mine. DS age 6 has been begging for a specific nerf gun that cost £60 so hes got that, DD age 3 wanted a doll that eats and crys so she has one of those that cost £70 and dd age 4 wanted a £20 unicorn scooter she saw in smyths so she has that. They will all be happy as they have what theyve asked for.

I do try and keep the amount of presents the same so the piles dont look drastically different

At those ages especially, it’s fine. When my son was about 12, he had a PC which cost a lot. My daughter was only 7, she got every toy on her list plus surprises but we spent much less. Now they’re both teens, we tend to spend the same in each as the things they want tend to be similar in cost.

Definitely. I always aim for the same number of gifts, so they have the same amount to open, but cost totally depends on what the child is into.

yes

DH feels we should spend the same amount on each kid but I disagree that cost = value.
So we try to keep tital cost of presents/child similar but it's impossible, older kids' stuff is just more expensive (I mean literally, a bigger size t-shirt is more expensive) and the stuff they need or want just costs more.

I think it's best to buy stuff that makes them happy - look out for Black Friday deals

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

To add to my previous... treating your children equally and fairly doesn't mean treating them exactly the same.

This!

I buy what they want, within reason. I don’t count pennies. I tend to try and buy the same amount of gifts, regardless of monetary value.

My children are all in their 20s now. Can honestly say I have never spent exactly the same amount on them ever . Swings and roundabouts!

I’m spending way more on one child because she is getting an iPad. The other wants clothes and I just couldn’t spend the same amount just for the sake of it

I don't know though about the same number of gifts. If a child has asked for an expensive present why should they get the same amount as a child who's main present isn't as expensive? Most children are capable of understanding they have asked for something expensive and so are only getting that.

@Pumpkinsonparade I don't agree these are the same thing st all. £100 are expensive trainers. Normal trainers are less than that even if they are for size 12 feet. And trainers are a more exciting present for a teenager than a child. I would say again a large toy is equivalent for a child not some boy standard trainers

It is entirely fair if the children are at completely different stages.

To suggest otherwise, would mean if DS (teen) wanted a laptop, just because I "have" to spend the same money, DD (2yo) needs £500 of Duplo just to be fair? That's ridiculous.

I tend to think of it over the course of their lifetime.

I have a 13 year old, a 9 year old and a 2 year old. The 13 year old will most definitely have the most spent on them this year. When they were 2, I spent a lot less. By the time they are all adults, it will have pretty much evened out.

Absolutely. Mine are similar ages, 18 months between them, but we have had many periods of spending more on the eldest, as his interests are more expensive. As long as the piles looked similar, and the youngest got what she asked for, no probs.

Absolutely fair, one year we bought dd a saddle for her pony and ds a Swiss Army Knife. They both got the item that was top of their lists and they were equally delighted.