Tips for a relaxing Christmas

[CactusLemonSpice]

I really want to relax and enjoy the day with the kids (baby, 2 and 9), but I also don't want to completely forgoe nice traditions.

As a child I found Christmas stressful as my mum was very overbearing and everything had to be 'just so'.

How do you have a lovely relaxing family Christmas, while still keeping it 'special', and not stressing myself and everyone else out in the process?

On a tight maternity budget so needs to be low cost... can't buy in a ready made dinner etc.

I've booked to go away. I want to be just with DH and the children this year.

Do it the continental way where adults get to enjoy Christmas too:

• small DC get presents on 6th December, feast of St Nikolas

-don't send cards or only a few

• have big festive dinner on Christmas Eve after church service of "midnight mass" which pragmatically starts at the family friendly time of around 7.30 pm, most of it bought from a traiteur and a bakery
• spend most of Christmas day drifting about visiting friends and family drinking cocktails and nibbling canapes, children playing!

It's lovely!

In reality, I do it the stressy British way of church, presents, dinner all on one day but some year soon when the tee s have flown the nest ... .

@Bottleofstout we have to do December 6th too! It's the visit if the Three Kings. I've just bought the kids a book each for that...I am not being dragged I to another extravaganza! It's Christmas, my son's birthday then that. I am knackered just thinking of it!!

Liverbird77 it is admittedly even more pressure if you live abroad and decide to follow local customs in addition to British ones or whichever you follow normally. The trick is to drop one in favour of the other. But it's a hard decision I'd you are trying to preserve family traditions but them find you are "out of sync" with school and locals. Difficult!

(Think Jan 6th is the visit of the Three King's btw - the Epiphany - and Dec 6th is when St Nikolas visits in many countries in Northern Europe having started his journey in Spain apparently.)

Sorry...I meant January 6. Half English and Spanish here!
I was talking about December 6 with a German friend just last week! Thankfully we have no skin in that game lol

@Bottleofstout

Liverbird77 it is admittedly even more pressure if you live abroad and decide to follow local customs in addition to British ones or whichever you follow normally. The trick is to drop one in favour of the other. But it's a hard decision I'd you are trying to preserve family traditions but them find you are "out of sync" with school and locals. Difficult!

(Think Jan 6th is the visit of the Three King's btw - the Epiphany - and Dec 6th is when St Nikolas visits in many countries in Northern Europe having started his journey in Spain apparently.)

It depends. We are Germans living here in England and we just added on.

St. Nikolaus is a must but doing the food and drink for Father Christmas before bedtime on the 24th despite Weihnachtsmann and Christkind already been here is not a hardship. Neither is giving DD a stocking with some gifts she would get anyway.

DD absolutely embraces her German side during December and is not shy of telling her friends all about it.

But having the majority of presents out of the way late on the 24th definitely makes the 25th in the morning easier.

V interesting to hear about different traditions within Europe.

I wonder how the traditional British Christmas rates (which
was originally Victorian/German) in terms of comparative stressiness?

And I wonder which European country has the most laid back Christmas?

My godsend on Christmas Day is our ancient hostess trolley. We prepare all veg on Xmas eve, including getting the Turkey crown dressed and in roasting tin,with carols on the radio and a nice glass of something. Always lay the table and get all plates, serving dishes out ready. Bit sad here but I always do a timing sheet. I don't always follow it but it is calming! By lunchtime everything is done.
Christmas morning turn hostess trolley on, stick plates and serving dishes inside. Cook veg as early as I like and then pop in hostess. Keeps beautifully till we eat. Like others I cook turkey early then cover in foil to keep warm. It makes for a fairly stress free morning with plenty of time to have breakfast and relax.

We had a breakthrough last year.

I have cooked turkey or goose for us and parents since I was pregnant with DD in 2007. I am always knackered. To be fair other people offer to help but I hate people being around in the kitchen when I'm doing jobs. In my opinion the dishwasher can only be effectively loaded by me!

So last year DH finally got the roast beef he'd been lobbying for for years and years. We cooked a piece of filet. It took an hour. We had marks and Spencer goose fat chips and creamed spinach.

A total revelation. Quick to cook. Quick to eat. I hate the never ending faff of Xmas lunch.

We start the morning with presents and then breakfast and usually dressed and out for dog walk by 9. Then by 11 parents arrive from church and we have blinis and champagne for a couple of hours and then food. Another dog walk after lunch then TV, champagne/wine/cheese.

This year we are also going out for a meal on boxing day to our local pub (we live in the country so this has a long walk baked into the trip!)

Honestly dropping the turkey and potatoes and peas and bread sauce was life changing.

In terms of simplifying - here is what my family does:
Mum gives all the gradchildren a bag with chocolate (Terrys), pjs and money. Every year. They have a wry laugh with an "I wonder what could be in here" type thing, and all ages love it!
Santa is very practicle here too, turning up with all the things the children need. We do a homemade book of coupons (a tip from here). For example a weeks worth of washing up/ breakfast in bed/ choose the film, and so on. We all do them and they have had a funny, sweet, tender, thoughtful, tension busting impact on our lives throughout the year.
For my siblings - one gives everyone a book, and one gives everyone a book marker. We rotate every year so only two are buying in any given year and only one is spending! I have had some great books this way.
Each family gets a fancy box of biscuits, and a naice bottle.

So no surprises, no tat, and no one goes broke, but we all know where we stand!
Written down it sounds so dull but actually it is great!

My main Christmas memories as a child were how stressed my mum was, how little I saw of her and how much I enjoyed days further into holidays because it was then I played games, went through pressies etc. I turned it on its head with my own kids. I don't cook Christmas Day, sometimes we do the Christmas food on Christmas Eve (which makes that day super special and it becomes the food focussed day). On the Day itself, focus is on family time, presents, games etc. There can be a cold meat buffet, nibbles and cheese or one year I did a posh afternoon tea. My kids love it, they help decide what the food option is and they get dedicat

@Bottleofstout I have had a few Christmases in Spain and I don't really like tbh.
The food is great, but main meal is eaten really really late on Christmas Eve. I am beyond it by then.
No Santa, no stockings (or even gifts on Christmas Day). No tree, no crackers, not gaudy decorations.
We listen to the. King's speech on Christmas Eve too, but we do that in England as well.

@Bottleofstout

I can only speak from my childhood but Christmas Eve morning was mayhem, last minute shopping for fresh stuff.

The evening itself is nice and -at least I always found- fairly relaxed. When I was small we had gifts around 6pm with a cold dinner, lots of German families do Frankfurter and potato salad. Only when I got older and out of the toys age we had dinner first.

Christmas Day and Boxing Day are often for visiting family. So we either had family over or went to visit, we always did it in the afternoon after having a roast for lunch. DH always had the whole family at this grandmother (parents, aunt, uncle, cousin) for a gigantic goose.

Obviously it is different is family is not locally.

As a child I never found it stressful, I like visiting family for a couple of hours.

When I was living with DH we often had Christmas just the two of us as we lived 6 hours drive away from home and my work had a holiday ban from the 15th December onwards so no way we did this just for 3 days.

Liverbird77 and reluctantbrit great to hear the differing accounts of Christmases in Spain and German respectively. I particularly like the idea of a potato salad on Christmas eve, although I come from a Catholic tradition that wouldn't have meat with it.

I have really enjoyed quiet Christmases in Northern France and Belgium, and in Southern France particularly the lack of commercialism (followed by more riotous New Year celebrations) but I suppose Christmas traditions embraced by your parents when you were a child, tend to follow you around, and it's hard to let them go!

I do my veg prepping the night before with my husband after the kids are in bed - we put Christmas music on while we’re doing it and leave the veg in pans overnight.

Breakfast is usually Buck’s Fizz for the grown ups and Jus rol croissants for everyone - feels special with minimal effort. Turkey crown at lunchtime with the veg we prepped and a premade dessert from one of the supermarkets. We’ve never done starters as never needed them. Teatime is leftovers and Christmas nibbles. Nobody wants to eat much anyway. It’s usually just us for Christmas as the family don’t live near us. Sometimes we have someone staying but generally not. We stay in pyjamas all day.

This way nobody needs to spend all day in the kitchen! Christmas Eve we do a Christmas Eve box and walk round the neighbourhood to see the lights, followed by a film. Boxing Day is a long country walk to blow away the cobwebs.