We have always done the main meal for the evening as that suits us. It meant we could have a nice breakfast while still in PJs (freshly squeezed oj, freshly baked croissants, cafetiere of coffee, big bowl of chopped fruit that I do on 24th and put in the fridge), get organised for showers and nice clothes before going out to mass in the late morning, a few local extended family visits before heading home.
Immediate jobs, keeping us busy but not rushed for about 30 minutes, are lighting the fire, throwing a pack of M&S party nibbles in the oven while it heats for the turkey, lighting candles, getting said turkey ready to put in the oven, pouring a nice drink for everyone - and then sitting down beside the crackling fire to enjoy a toast with our drinks, have some nice nibbles and open presents while turkey roasts. Occasional forays into the kitchen to refill glasses and do things like replenish snacks; turn on potatoes to steam; next trip is turn them off/slosh in duck fat/pull out the turkey and throw in the potatoes; next trip sorts out the veg; then make gravy etc.
We have all the prep work done the day before (DH and I do it together in the afternoon with the music going). Our starter for dinner is the nibbles while opening presents. We might have cheese and dessert later on - or we might not if we are full, or just 1 of those 2 options.
For us, it is a rare quiet day that we can slow down, so we do.
In terms of keeping costs low, are there any things you could make as presents that people would like to receive? Spend time and effort on really nice wrapping but the items being smaller/less expensive than usual (and your love for the person going into the wrapping)?
We do a turkey meal because we like it - but it's not terribly expensive. We only get a small enough bird, as we are a family of 3 and have some but not a lot of freezer space for leftovers. As I said, we do most of the prep the day before - but it is standard things that are in season so tend to be relatively cheap - potatoes (olive oil is fine for crispyness, it doesn't have to be duck/goose fat), roasted root veg (carrots, parsnips, butternut squash, onion, garlic - with juice of a clementine, dash of balsamic or wine vinegar and olive oil, and some thyme leaves), gravy made with bisto powder and meat juices, and steamed brussels sprouts. I keep the veg peelings (carrot and onion especially) to use later with the turkey bones and some more thyme to make stock for the freezer/ leftovers soup/ leftovers risotto/ ham and stilton potato bake etc., but I strain out the peelings and bones before making those.
Yes, we get M&S nibbles, but there are loads of starters that are very easy to make, many can be made beforehand, and that are cheap. And the same with dessert - something nice and a bit special doesn't have to cost the earth if you can bake or chill or freeze something ahead of time. Just think about what is special to YOUR family.
Breakfast is sometimes done as we get up (squeeze the oranges, open the can of Jus-rol croissants to roll and bake, chop the fruit), sometimes we buy it in (bottle of freshly squeezed juice from deli on 24th, M&S frozen pastries to bake), or other years that we have been organised the day before when doing veg etc (chop the fruit, and every year I plan to make a tray of cinnamon buns that just need baking in the morning and every year I don't do it).