Poncetastic Christmas 2021

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2021 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she is), at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Has anyone ever made a sausage roll wreath? I fancy giving it a go, but I’m worried it might be unreasonable...

@poolblue I got my mince pie felting kit here, they also have robins, Christmas trees, baubles and snowmen.

I'm twitching!!

I vowed I wouldn't make a Christmas cake this year but I really want to now! And I want to make puddings, mincemeat and chutney.

Aaarrrghhhh!

At last! I have found my people! My family think I'm bonkers! I've made the Christmas puds.. thanks delia.. Next on my list is the mincemeat and Christmas cake. I love love love this time of year! My house smells like Christmas.

www.lakeland.co.uk/christmas/?sort=relevance&pageSize=108&q=%3Arelevance#

Just in case anyone else is slightly bored this rainy night 😁

Oh @lachy this is going to cost me

The works have needle felting kits. The polar bear looks cute £4.

@noodledoodler

https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/spicedapplechutney_7720

Oops epic clipboard fail

I'll give this one a try this weekend. Do you use eating or cooking apples @noodledoodler ? I'm guessing eating??

@FingonTheValiant I was wanting to try making Delia's Cheese & Onion Sausage Rolls into a wreath this year. There's a video on the Sainsbury's website for shaping it that doesn't look too tricky. Might just have to give that a practice run this weekend

https://www.sainsburysmagazine.co.uk/recipes/christmas/sausage-roll-wreath-with-mulled-wine-cranberry-relish

@VivaJen I usually use apples
from out garden which are braeburn, They go well with the malt vinegar and great for a christmassy chutney. I also make a batch of it most years from a tree where I work, not sure of the variety but it gives very sweet red eating apples and if you leave the skin on these it makes a lovely deep, sweet version of that chutney which is more of an all year rounder and delish with cream cheese or lighter flavour cheeses.

[quote SevenSwansASwimming]@poolblue I got my mince pie felting kit here, they also have robins, Christmas trees, baubles and snowmen.[/quote]
Thank you. I think I might be making some purchases!

@NigelSlatersXmasTaters

Oh *@lachy* this is going to cost me

Like the idea of boozey crackers. Give me booze over a fortune telling fish any day

Also like the Xmas pudding table name placers

@lachy

www.lakeland.co.uk/christmas/?sort=relevance&pageSize=108&q=%3Arelevance#

Just in case anyone else is slightly bored this rainy night 😁

Sorry quoted the wrong post

Some of that Lakeland stuff looks really good

[quote noodledoodler]@VivaJen I usually use apples
from out garden which are braeburn, They go well with the malt vinegar and great for a christmassy chutney. I also make a batch of it most years from a tree where I work, not sure of the variety but it gives very sweet red eating apples and if you leave the skin on these it makes a lovely deep, sweet version of that chutney which is more of an all year rounder and delish with cream cheese or lighter flavour cheeses.
[/quote]
Oooh sounds perfect. Thank you 🎄

@FuckingFabulous your spiced apple pies sound yum. I'm also a dried fruit avoider so you've given me a lovely idea. Thank you.
@SevenSwansASwimming I love that website. Is it serendipity I followed your link on payday?

@WisestIsShe be careful, their website is addictive! So many gorgeous craft kits, not enough time. I think if you sign up to their email list you get 10% off your first order.

Boozy crackers definitely sound better than fortune telling fish! I’m planning to make crackers for the first time this year and still considering what to put in them. I can’t afford to do much but perhaps a couple of nice wrapped chocolates inside each one, I’m sure the DC’s will still like them more than the usual random plastic crap that gets left on the table after Christmas dinner.

@RubyFakeLips

So glad this has started, just come back from holiday and was thinking poncily the entire flight home.

Am to start soaking fruit this weekend, I usually make the pudding, cake and mincemeat. Also planning the gingerbread gin and maybe rhubarb liqueur as we had a bumper crop this year.

Any mincemeat recommendations please? Last year’s wasn’t great.

@RubyFakeLips ooh what would you mix with the gingerbread gin? It sounds lovely.

Does anyone know when Zara Usually release their Christmas home collection?

Jumping on thread with some tried and trusted ideas
The Best Cake ever is
millyskitchen.co.nz/blogs/recipes/nigella-lawsons-black-cake
A couple of years ago , I made a hydrangea wreath , which is basically hydrangea heads attached to a willow base , needs to be inside and has kept really well

Handily , I’m going to town tomorrow to have a haircut and will go to the Works and try and get a felting kit ( which I will no doubt be hopeless at ) and Wilkos , which usually has a nice selection of ribbons and baubles

Thanks @Trumpton for the tip re alcohol and paper whites , mine got really tall last year !

@H1Drangea
Your Paperwhites are leggy but beautiful !
I started growing mine on pebbles in tall containers because of floppiness but the alcohol stunting growth was a revelation!

@RubyFakeLips ooh what would you mix with the gingerbread gin? It sounds lovely.
Clementine tonic water?

Sorry, I asked my question then got waylaid by bastard parenting all day. My family do not understand quite how demanding a poncey Christmas is!

@OnTheHillNotOverIt I had used Mary Berry's which I've seen with rave reviews, but I found very unremarkable. @NoWordForFluffy I'm struggling to see the cider one, do you know where it's from so I could look it up myself? I love an apple-ly mincemeat.

@FireworkParrot The biggest success before was adding to espresso martinis, a cocktail gingerbread latte sort of. I think DH may have added in Baileys too, as he got the a couple of recipes online.

The idea of clementine tonic sounds good but I liked mine with some apple juice (but then I love a spiced rum and apple), would probably work well in warmed cider.

Oooh espresso martinis are a great idea!

We had it with ginger ale, tonic and lemonade I think. I think all were ok but can't remember which we liked best. I think ginger ale was pretty good

It's Good Housekeeping Get Ahead from 2019, I think, @RubyFakeLips. I've never found the exact one online though.