Poncetastic Christmas 2021

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2021 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she is), at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Sorry I should have put the recipe:

Make up a packet of sage and onion stuffing mix with half the amount of water as on the packet (although if I make the vegetarian sausage version I'll add some more water than this.) Save the very fine stuffing dust to one side.

Take 8 sausages out of their skins and squish the mix together with the stuffing until all combined.

Take one sheet of ready rolled puff pastry and cut down middle so you have two long rectangles. Spread them with mustard, chutney or cranberry sauce.... whatever you like.

Divide the mix between the two pastry sheets and roll up into one long sausage roll.... they're quite full so you may have to stretch the pastry a bit.

Milk wash then sprinkle on the fine stuffing dust (or grated cheese) or both!

Slice up and bake at 180c for 30 mins. Or just slice and freeze if making for another time.

Those sausage rolls look and sound lovely, not convinced by the Benilyn vodka though

@Geamhradh

I'm going to make Nigella's vanilla cake. and serve it after a too-rich dinner. And possibly for breakfast after!

I've been puttering round garden departments looking for bowls for my bulbs. I want to go very much nature green and white with hints of red this year. My bulbs (hyacinths, paperwhites and crocus) are all white. So I want green bowls. May spend the afternoon on Pinterest for inspiration.

Were you after china bowls? I got these plastic ones from amazon. www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00F0RJY3W/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?psc=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8

I am joining the thread from the Nigel Slater one as I love crafts. Thank you to the lady who posted the Christmas magazine review I might have to get myself some.

I’m going to IKEA tomorrow so I can do some poncing there.

Got Christmas cake ingredients & the baubles to make a wreath today. Wasn't going to but saw and thought they'd be perfect and didn't want them to sell out

I'm planning on making a wreath for the front door but also want to make one to put on my pigeon hole at school.

@LaChatte

I'm planning on making a wreath for the front door but also want to make one to put on my pigeon hole at school.

You have a pigeon hole at work big enough to have a wreath. I'm assuming you work in a school!

I’ve just bought the fabric for my Christmas present bags and am also now thinking about what else I can make!
Wine bottle bags for a couple of gifts and I may try to make my mum a makeup bag and matching tote. Even if they aren’t great she will say that she loves them!
Plus, she’s partially sighted so I can get away with a few wonky edges and stitches 😂

I've just ordered paperwhites today - what's the latest you can start them for Christmas?

How did you guess 😂

@TuftyMarmoset I’ve never done them before but think most people start them mid-November. Mine are still in the box they were delivered in.

@LaChatte we definitely need a photo of your pigeon hole with a wreath

@FireworkParrot those sausage rolls sound amazing, I will give them a go this week

I have knitted this stocking as a procrastination from finishing the advent calendar! I haven’t done anything with such a detailed pattern before, quite pleased with it. Pattern free from Ravelry

@BeastOfBODMAS that stocking is a thing of great beauty.

I’ve been doing some rather more simple crochet using Attic24 website. That are still a bit curly as need blocking to flatten them.

I’m really please with the bauble with tassels as 2 weeks ago I looked at it but was too scared to try!

That stocking and the crochet decorations are incredible. Sadly I'm not actually as crafty as I would like to be, but I have great fun trying! I'm extremely new to crochet and have even struggled with the Bella Coco snowflakes so anything as lovely as your crafts I'm in awe of!

I've just spent a peaceful few minutes swirling the apricot brandy and feeding the Christmas cake. DD1 age 4 wanted to whisper a wish to the cake, I couldn't hear what she wished for (as is right and proper I suppose) but she was very earnest and said "wishes always come true, don't they?" afterwards. I wasn't too sure how to answer.

The Attic24 snowflakes come together a bit easier I think.

I don’t know her honestly.

Cake looks lovely @FireworkParrot

@BeastOfBODMAS your stocking looks fantastic as do your snowflakes @OnTheHillNotOverIt.

Just put Christmas cake in the oven. Can safely say that blood , sweat and tears have been put into it 😅😅😅

@sueelleker, ooh they look perfect, thank you!
And so do the sausage rolls.

My fruit is finally soaked for my cake. It was so dry it's soaked up about half a bottle of brandy. I would have made the cake today but I'm in charge of a 4 year old dinosaur so I'm making lemon drizzle cake instead.

Chicken wings ordered for Jamie’s Get Ahead Gravy. I miss out the Star Anise and I know it’s a faff but imho it’s worth it.

@BeastOfBODMAS your stocking is incredible, I can do basic knits but nothing on that scale.

@OnTheHillNotOverIt fab crochet, I’ve done snowflakes and Christmas trees but want to do stars (and now baubles) if time allows.

I’ve been making lollipop tree decorations today from Christmas wool and cake pop sticks, photo to follow once I’ve finished. I have a huge Tesco order with lots of Christmas goodies and ingredients coming tomorrow, and plan on making the Christmas cake and Mary Berry’s scarlet confit this week.

[quote OnTheHillNotOverIt]@BeastOfBODMAS that stocking is a thing of great beauty.

I’ve been doing some rather more simple crochet using Attic24 website. That are still a bit curly as need blocking to flatten them.

I’m really please with the bauble with tassels as 2 weeks ago I looked at it but was too scared to try![/quote]
These are beautiful 🤩

My MIL makes amazing mince pies and has been baking loads. However she keeps putting them in the freezer and none are going into my tum. 😂

So I thought I'd make my own. Does anyone have an easy mincemeat recipe that they would recommend?

Also any pastry recipe recommendations would be well received. When I made jam tarts with my little boy my short crust was alright but I could definitely do better! 😂

My favourite mincemeat recipe so far has been Delia’s. I should say that was a 2 horse race between Delia and Mary. I’ll be trying Nigel’s this year maybe?

Anyway Delia’s is here. She says maybe make half as it does make loads

www.deliaonline.com/recipes/books/delias-happy-christmas/home-made-christmas-mincemeat

I buy ready made pastry

I fell off the couple of festive threads I was on. I'm really feeling quite blah these past couple of weeks. It'll pass, I'm sure.

Anyway; we made our Christmas cakes over half term. Dd2's looking forward to decorating them.

And I've been busy crocheting my little thread village - the first cottage is almost complete; I'm just waiting for the roof to stick this morning and then it needs its doors attaching. The second is half way through made - base and roof still to be done.

I need to re-find my "go" and get on with something 🤔

I received a delivery of a load of red painted wooden beads, yesterday, so made a load of garlands of them with gardening twine. I have plain wooden ones as well (thanks, Primark!) so that's the kitten-proof tree well underway. Once we're into December, I'll dry a load of orange and apple slices, which will hang from loops of red-and-white twisty twine, or more gardening twine, I haven't decided. I have some cinnamon sticks as well, but they might only be for the wreath and garlands; I wasn't able to get many, as there seems to be a problem getting them from India this year.

I'm still trying to think of a way to display the usual baubles in a way that the kittens can't get to them. I don't really want to leave them in the attic till next year. And the 'kittens' are only 7 months but one is the size of a Shetland pony, so they're bound to cause total destruction.