Poncetastic Christmas 2021

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2021 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she is), at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@SevenSwansASwimming love the star!

@plominoagain Welcome!🎄🎄🎄

Today I’m going to dig out my cross stitch again. And maybe make a template for the little fabric hearts I’m going to make and cut those out too.

I have been away for a few days and now frantically trying to catch up I must start on the Gnome bunting and paint the walls in the sunroom. Also feed the cake and stir the gins. Currently on bus so am doing a bit of mooching for ideas.
I will check the paperwhites ready to start them next week.

I've made a batch of Nigel Slater's apricot brandy from the Christmas Chronicles thread. I'm just pleased to have finally found a use for the sweet wine that's been in the back of the cupboard for a few years! Is it wrong that I mainly made this so I can eat the fruit with yoghurt when it's been steeped? [Fgrin]

@FireworkParrot I made some today too! Am with you on eating the apricots.

Also made the marmalade gin PP mentioned. Thanks you guys

I've been having a go at crochet snowflakes, following the Bella Coco tutorial. It seems simple enough but the finished thing doesn't seem to have the stitch definition I thought it would. I just bought cheap yarn to practise with, can anyone recommend something better please?

@WisestIsShe have you blocked them? If you haven't then I would recommend it. Dampen them and then pin them out and leave to dry. I do this on a bath sheet folded so there's about 8 layers. Put a pin in one point and push it down into the towel. Take another pin and put it in the opposite point. Stretch it out as far as possible and pin into the towel. Do the same w each pair of points. Leave it to dry ( I stick them under a radiator out of the way). This should define the stitches. If you want to hang them up you could use spray starch or watered down PVA glue but you need to do this before you unpin them.

@TheWoollybacksWife no I haven't. Thanks that's really useful information, I'll give it a go. I've no idea what I'm actually going to do with them, I just liked the way they looked

Can anyone recommend a pine-scented candle or spray which absolutely smells like a real Christmas tree? I had some from a garden centre one year, but I'm avoiding the shops this year, so I'll need to get one by mail order.

(I apologise for being on this thread with no intention of having a real tree. I know it's heresy.)

@ifIwerenotanandroid

Can anyone recommend a pine-scented candle or spray which absolutely smells like a real Christmas tree? I had some from a garden centre one year, but I'm avoiding the shops this year, so I'll need to get one by mail order.

(I apologise for being on this thread with no intention of having a real tree. I know it's heresy.)

scentsicles.com/

We use these. They hang from the tree so it wafts from the direction of the tree.

Thank you, Stormy!

@ifIwerenotanandroid

Thank you, Stormy!

Any time they're pretty natural smelling I.e don't smell like pine toilet cleaner. My DM is really fussy when it comes to air fresheners and scented candles and these were pretty inoffensive to her but still smelt Christmasy

@SiulaGrande
@FireworkParrot

I made some yesterday too!

My bulbs have finally arrived, going to really have to do some forcing now I think.

Hi you lovely people.

I've been told to make a Christmas cake which due to other commitments won't get really made till the week after next. Although if I get a wiggle on it can be done tomorrow.

Any recipes which are fairly straightforward but don't need much soaking in alcohol are much appreciated x

Would anyone notice if you bought a plain cake and iced it yourself? You could feed the cake over the next few weeks and then unleash all your creativity on icing and decorating it. Sorry if that's a bit heretical on this thread 😬

Alternatively there are recipes for boiled Christmas cakes that don't require the fruit to be soaked first. BBC Good Food have one.

@StormyCornishSeas I'm with the PP on making a boiled cake, Nigella has a recipe and it just means you boil the fruit in the alcohol rather than soak it for days.

@Geamhradh we're all going to be sozzled drinking up this apricot brandy in December

[quote FireworkParrot]@StormyCornishSeas I'm with the PP on making a boiled cake, Nigella has a recipe and it just means you boil the fruit in the alcohol rather than soak it for days.[/quote]
Ok that sounds like a good option thanks

@StormyCornishSeas

Hi you lovely people.

I've been told to make a Christmas cake which due to other commitments won't get really made till the week after next. Although if I get a wiggle on it can be done tomorrow.

Any recipes which are fairly straightforward but don't need much soaking in alcohol are much appreciated x

I've been known on a frenetic year to literally make the cake on Christmas Eve. And it's always been fine. The only disaster (which at this time of year I can only say in Craig Revel Horwood's voice) was when I deviated from Delia and made Nigella's monstrosity with cocoa and orange and prunes in it.

Speaking of Nigella, I have treated myself to something I've wanted ever since her Christmas book came out. I am rubbish at buying things for myself but I came into a bit of money from my late mum recently and I've bought myself a Nordic Ware Pine Forest Bundt tin. She'd approve. As I'm sure you all will. 🎄

I have a Slimming World recipe that I use-it's sugar-free.
12oz dried fruit
3oz glace cherries
1 mug hot tea.
Soak fruit in tea overnight.
Add 1 egg
1tsp mixed spice
4 tbsp brandy
6oz SR flour.
Bake for one hour at 160 C
It doesn't keep like a regular cake, so I make it Christmas week; but it's nice and moist.
You could use fruit juice instead of the brandy if you want it alcohol free.

@Geamhradh oh enjoy the tin! As I was reading your post that was the first thing that came to mind

@Geamhradh oh that tin is beautiful, what are you going to bake in it?

I finally made it to the craft shop, left 50$ poorer but I now have plenty of Christmas coloured floss and I'm spending the afternoon sunbathing while making pompoms for a Garland

I'm going to make Nigella's vanilla cake. and serve it after a too-rich dinner. And possibly for breakfast after!

I've been puttering round garden departments looking for bowls for my bulbs. I want to go very much nature green and white with hints of red this year. My bulbs (hyacinths, paperwhites and crocus) are all white. So I want green bowls. May spend the afternoon on Pinterest for inspiration.

All this talk of apricot brandy has inspired me to have a pre-dinner drink so I am drinking a mysterious purple/brown spirit from an unlabelled bottle in our drinks cupboard. Could be blackberry vodka (I do remember making some last year), but it has a faint whiff of Benylin about it. Note to self: must label in future.

Possibly not one to gift to others this year.

I finally got round to making some meat-free sausage and stuffing rolls with the Richmond vegetarian sausages. Annoyingly I forgot to save any stuffing mix to sprinkle on the top so I did cheese instead.

My verdict is they tasted really nice but were slightly more dry then when I've made them with pork sausages, I imagine because the vegetarian ones aren't as oily. So next time I'll do them with a wetter stuffing mix or spread more sauce onto the pastry (I used chutney this time.)