Poncetastic Christmas 2021

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2021 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she is), at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Although I meant to say that Richmond meat free sausages are the best vegetarian sausages I've tried so far so I'm wondering whether they could work.

Today's ponceness was looking at which Christmas family jigsaw

Also looked at the Sunday paper advert leaflets for cox& cox and hotel chocolate

@RubyFakeLips do you mind sharing the recipe for the carrots? I usually go for caramelized in honey but orange and thyme sound delicious.
I have started 2 more stars, one is pretty much finished but its 100% french knots so I started a second made of circular stitches before i went mad and will hopefully finish both off this week. I'm aiming for 10 before Christmas so I can gift some and keep some but that might be a little optimistic if im also to finish my cross stitch pile.
Other poncing plans for the week include drying slices, its probably a little early but orange oranges are in season currently (oranges here are usually green) and last year when I tried to make them in December an orange orange was nowhere to be found unless i bought imported ones and I can never bring myself to do that when locally grown fruit is so abundant

@Ponceyponce It's an adapted version of this

I'm normally cooking for too many people to lay them flat in a pan. I do try and use a wide pan though. I simply:

1. Prepare as many carrots as I need and put them in a pan
2. Just covering with mixture of 50/50 water and fresh, good orange juice
3. Add some smashed garlic cloves and fresh thyme
4. Add roughly equal butter and sugar (I did 1kg carrots today and used probs 25g butter & 1 heaped tbsp sugar)
5. Boil until the liquid has almost evaporated, then keep an eye as it will catch, but it will eventually become caramel. Maybe half hour/45 mins, will be less if you're making less.

@FireworkParrot I am planning a few stuffing experiments with Richmond meat free sausages ahead of Christmas. They mush up well, so I imagine they'll work - will report back!

I tried Nigella’s gingerbread stuffing once. No one liked it, texture and flavour not attractive.

Ah thanks Tricky D - that’s two lots of negative reviews on this thread alone so I’m definitely not going to make it. We’ll just have the cake instead throughout the next few weeks, I think.

Not much poncing gone on here this past week but I have made a start on pre-Christmas clear out & finally found the crocodile clips I'd lost last year so maybe the birds and poinsettia I bought last year will make it onto my tree!

I'd planned to get the laptop and printer out today to print some iris folding templates now I have some pretty paper (my friend pinched the nicest origami paper I have), and design some labels for the crochet spa set, but dd2's pinched it to look up care requirements for a new species of praying mantis. So kitchen clear out & then a couple of hours crochet it is.

I tried the gingerbread stuffing and forgot to report back. Sorry!

It was awful. What a waste.

@FireworkParrot I am veggie and intend to invent a recipe for sausage and stuffing rolls, so I’ll keep you in the loop!

One thing I was going to experiment with is the Granose Lincolnshire sausage mix, it’s a dried veggie sausage mix with heavy sage & onion stuffing vibes. It usually lives in a forgotten corner of the supermarket dry goods near the beanfeast.
I think it might be pleasing to make it up with a combo of mushroom stock and Guinness, and wrap in pastry along with caramelised onion jam/chutney.

The paperwhite bulbs have arrived!! Looking forward to getting these planted up! Be prepared for questions @Trumpton 🎄

The Richmond meat free burgers smash really well.
I bought my paper whites, now just need to find a new glass vase.

I started soaking my Christmas cake fruit today, in a mixture of amaretto, ruby port and homemade kirsch. I want to get a bottle of brandy and throw in a slosh of that too.

Oh @MarisPiper92 and @BeastOfBODMAS please do let us know the outcome of your experiments! I think I'm going to give some sausage rolls a go with veggie sausages and will also report back.

I fed my Christmas cake today and the smell is delightful.
I also tried some marmalade gin as I had a very hard week with mil and had no other gin in( bad housekeeper).
I have been knitting Christmas gnomes for the adult dc’s Christmas Day boxes. I think I like the knitted beards best.
They are based on champagne corks to give them shape. It’s an adapted pattern from Ravelry.

@Trumpton how was the gin? I've been patiently waiting for today as it the two week point where I can finally strain it.

this thread has somehow disappeared from the "I'm on" page

Trumpton how was the gin? Your gnomes are very cute 🥰

The gin was fantastic . I haven’t strained it yet , I just ladled some out of the Kilner jar ( classy)

The theme for the sun room this year is “Gnome Sweet Gnome” and yes I redecorate every year with a new theme. Last year was Log Cabin.

Love the Gnomes!!!

The Mulled Wine jam on Bake Off sounds nice in a poncey Christmas sort of way

Trumpton your sun room looked more log cabin than most actual log cabins. Love the light up deer head

Those gnomes are adorable!! Love the sound of all these gins etc, are there any tried and tested alcohol free christmassy drinks? Other than hot chocolate of course!

@Row1n

Those gnomes are adorable!! Love the sound of all these gins etc, are there any tried and tested alcohol free christmassy drinks? Other than hot chocolate of course!

Mulled apple juice www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/mulled-apple-juice

After a couple of weeks of being too busy to ponce I am back on track. I made chilli jam last night although I overlooked it a bit so it is more like chilli treacle!

I've also started the fruit for the cake in a combo of brandy, cherry brandy and amaretto. I could throw some port in as well though- great idea!

Oh that does sound yummy @StormyCornishSeas, thank you!

Ingredients bought for the creole cake! Some clearing out done in the kitchen and paperwhites bought. I fancy doing them in a long, shallow vase I think and will be starting on rememberance day after the cenotaph