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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Nuclear family Christmas.

61 replies

Tandoorimixedgrill · 21/09/2021 20:42

Only child with no living parents or aunts etc and two small children. DH family live 4 hours away and won’t be coming for Christmas.

My question is how do you make Christmas seem special if it’s just 2 adults 2 children?

All our local friends will being seeing their own families so it’s not like we can invite them or even meet up.

We’ve done it a couple of times and it’s always so flat, makes me very sad about my lack of wider family so any tips to liven it up are welcome.

OP posts:
erictries · 21/09/2021 20:45

Could you go to DH family?
My New Zealand friends. Few years ago living in UK had a similar situation as no local family. Each year they got involved with. Homeless charity and helped prepare a meal in a community centre for them. They always ended up having a lovely time celebrating with them

BleshRed · 21/09/2021 20:46

Sounds like bliss to be honest 😂

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 21/09/2021 20:48

We always have a nuclear family Christmas and we love it! All the usual food, a few special presents, plus any that arrive before Christmas, leaving out beer and a mince pie for Father Christmas and carrots for the reindeer.

R0tational · 21/09/2021 20:48

@BleshRed

Sounds like bliss to be honest 😂
OP said "makes me very sad about my lack of wider family"!
ofwarren · 21/09/2021 20:49

That's what we have always done. I've never felt like it's any less special.
The children get so excited and we have a great time!

AndWhat · 21/09/2021 20:49

We don’t try to make it ‘special’ as such we just enjoy the peace of the day. No one having to rush to school/work answer phone calls etc.
Kids enjoy playing with new gifts and we watch whatever rubbish is on the television. It’s one of the only days we get to be just us with no other commitments

Gizlotsmum · 21/09/2021 20:50

We spread present opening out, prep before hand, go for a walk, play board games (we have Christmas themed ones) call family…

NigelSlatersXmasTaters · 21/09/2021 20:51

Plan things to do together and a bit of an itinerary.

Book something for Christmas Eve, then go out and look at peoples Christmas lights before jingling a bell for Santa at 6pm Grin

Christmas Day, make sure there is Christmas music playing from the minute you get up!

Hot chocolate in a flask with mug huggers and a scenic walk to break the day up.

Play games together and watch a feel good funny Christmas film.

Boxing Day - plan a trip out somewhere with leftovers for a picnic lunch.

Alternatively, visit DHs family? That's what I'd do I think.

HarrisMcCoo · 21/09/2021 20:53

@ofwarren

That's what we have always done. I've never felt like it's any less special. The children get so excited and we have a great time!
Same here. I have four DC and we have a great time together. Never been sad about it. 14 years this year.
PineappleVision · 21/09/2021 20:53

We’ve done that out of choice the last few years. Love it. Get lots of fairy lights everywhere, Xmas music, some nice easy food, play games. Take day at your own pace. I like the fact that my perfectionist family members are not there to frown and disapprove of my every move.

Comedycook · 21/09/2021 20:56

Could you go out for Christmas lunch to a restaurant or nice pub? We went one year to a local gastro pub...it was expensive but not much more than what we'd spend on Christmas food. We went with our extended family but there were lots of smaller families there I noticed with mum/dad and kids. It's a nice festive atmosphere

Incywinceyspider · 21/09/2021 20:56

How old are your children? What about a treasure hunt? I also got a board game every year when I was growing up and we played it after lunch

Cherryrainbow · 21/09/2021 20:56

Might it be worth considering booking a xmas day meal somewhere to feel like you're doing something on the day, get dressed and get cooked for?

Is there anywhere near by you could go for a nice walk on xmas/boxing day?

TwinsandTrifle · 21/09/2021 20:58

I don't understand? There's 4 of you. 2 of whom are children so will have all the excitement factor there (are they young enough to believe still?) And you're not happy about it, why?

I thought this was going to be a thread perhaps of children all flown the nest, or "just me and DD this year" but you're a family of four.

Genuinely don't understand what you're sad about?

Comedycook · 21/09/2021 21:01

I totally understand how you feel though op. We had a smaller Christmas last year because of covid. To me, big family Christmases are great, I prefer more of us...

thistimelastweek · 21/09/2021 21:02

Our small family Christmas went like this;

Wake up with stockings in our bed. Spin it out best you can.

Father Christmas presents to children.

Take turns opening presents oohing and aahing and examining each one. Takes ages.

Fancy Christmas breakfast/brunch.

Open family presents, taking turns. Oohing aahing etc. Good hour to do.

Walk dog if you have one.

Play with presents.

Have Christmas dinner.

Play hide and seek (holiday tradition)

Watch shit on telly.

Good day had. Not that exciting. Just really nice.

.

toolazytothinkofausername · 21/09/2021 21:04

@BleshRed

Sounds like bliss to be honest 😂
I agree.

Children love attention. Give them a day without mobile phones and computers, and just focus on them Smile

Cyberworrier · 21/09/2021 21:05

I can empathise- first times I had Christmas without grandparents or extended family I was a little worried (I am the child in this scenario!). We'd go out for a meal on Christmas Eve. Leisurely present opening on Christmas morning, nice long walk, Christmas dinner and then a film or two. It was actually lovely. Now my sibling and I are both married we won't have a Christmas like that again, with parents and without spouses or children, so I'd say make the most of it. I'm sure you will have a lovely time. Going to see a ballet or panto or carol service in the days approaching Christmas would be good to make you feel Christmassy too- or a meal with friends on Boxing Day or something?

Youcancallmeval · 21/09/2021 21:06

Every other year it is just me and DD. When she was little the day was as exciting as I made it really. Neither of us particularly like a roast dinner, so she chose what to have to eat throughout the day - one year we had Indian party food for our Christmas lunch. We always had lots of fun playing with her new toys and chilling out to watch the afternoon film. It never felt flat because I didn't treat it like a normal day. Now, she's a teenager we have reinvented it again, so it is very chilled, she sleeps as long as she wants and we still eat whatever she fancies.
The years she isn't with me, now those could be described as a bit flat, but even so I still have a nice day on my own.

Pythonesque · 21/09/2021 21:08

That's been my most common Christmas experience; as a child growing up with no nearby relatives (it made the 3 Christmases we came to the UK to visit our granny very special); but also with our own children mostly just us and meeting up with my sister and her family on a different day.

The important bits to Christmas for me would be, carol service on Christmas Eve (hopefully after plenty of services and/or concerts during Advent), church on Christmas morning (or sometimes midnight), sharing presents and a big Christmas meal. Hopefully with a walk after. We enjoy the decorating but it's been a bit haphazard for some years.

We had 3 years of choir christmases - so several cathedral services with cold lunch en masse, then home for presents then our big Christmas dinner on Boxing day. Found the simplicity of dealing with the meal separately to church and presents quite relaxing actually :)

Dogsandbabies · 21/09/2021 21:08

That is what we do every Christmas. Just our little family. We love it to be honest. We still do a lovely meal, presents, mull cider and hot chocolates for the kids.

I can't wait again!

BareVanilla · 21/09/2021 21:11

We always had massive family Christmases. In hindsight they weren’t fun because everyone else was being pleased and not the children. Now we do small and see people before and after but not the main days.

Lasttimeneveragain · 21/09/2021 21:14

I have to admit that I grew up living four hours away from all grandparents and extended family abroad. All I've ever known at Christmas is celebrating with my nuclear family. I found it exhausting when I moved in with DH and his family wanted us to go here, there and everywhere. And then my parents wanted us to visit too.

Since having DC, we also now have just a nuclear family Christmas. It's just the four of us. We do the presents, let the kids play and generally play with them. We eat lots of chocolate, stay in our PJs, just relax and have fun. We have dinner in the late afternoon, then more playing or maybe put a movie on. My kids are still at an age where they are super excited by toys, so that does help. I can imagine it might change when the kids get a bit older.

ShowOfHands · 21/09/2021 21:34

I completely understand op. I don't suppose other people telling you how much they like a Christmas with just the nuclear family helps when you wish things were different. My Mum always insisted upon a nuclear family Christmas only and I always felt that gap where the family should have been and while it wasn't flat, it did feel incomplete.

Can you explain why it feels flat? Does it feel that way to just you or do you worry that it doesn't feel special to all of you? I think you can't go far wrong with building traditions which suit your family set up. And not just on the day. Creating anticipation and a little bit of the extraordinary can lay the foundations. Do stuff you only do at that time of year. We have lots of traditions like going on a walk round the village and spotting lights, around the 15th or so, buying a new decoration each for the children and then adding them to the ones from previous years, flask of soup on the beach and a walk on the 24th, stir up Sunday, baking, watching certain films and Christmas shorts, singing carols, Christingle and on and on. And do that stuff which brings you all together as a unit, either on the day or throughout the festive period. Play board games, walk, hide and seek, treasure hunts, films, all the things you might enjoy.

And think of it as a few days or a couple of weeks instead of the one day. Might take off the pressure a bit to spread out some joy.

Hope you have a very merry Christmas.

ShowOfHands · 21/09/2021 21:37

And don't compare it to an ideal. Your Christmas is your Christmas and that IS enough.

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