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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Nuclear family Christmas.

61 replies

Tandoorimixedgrill · 21/09/2021 20:42

Only child with no living parents or aunts etc and two small children. DH family live 4 hours away and won’t be coming for Christmas.

My question is how do you make Christmas seem special if it’s just 2 adults 2 children?

All our local friends will being seeing their own families so it’s not like we can invite them or even meet up.

We’ve done it a couple of times and it’s always so flat, makes me very sad about my lack of wider family so any tips to liven it up are welcome.

OP posts:
PaperDolphin · 22/09/2021 20:04

We have Christmas just the 4 of us every year by choice. It feels much more relaxing than having to take others into consideration, we do what we want when we want. I think it's what you make it. If you can't change it, try and change how you see it?

Autumngoldleaf · 22/09/2021 22:10

Op it's usually us, two adults and two dc and it always feels different and special.

We dress up, house looks so different... Dc are enthralled with their gifts... The meal is so Feast like, candles, chockates music..

Boxing day I admit can feel flat but booking a panto helped that!

Some sort of action cracker helps. It can be really hard work with my dh though. When he puts in effort it's so much better ie being silly.
But he struggles to understand that sometimes.

Autumngoldleaf · 22/09/2021 22:13

Keep an eye out on abiu soon... Mumsnet gets flooded by usually dils begging for permission not having to go and spend a miserable Xmas with in laws.
Once I had a hankering for a larger family Xmas when dh cousins were over.
It was so miserable, no one spoke, no music.. Mil moaned about the price of heating and food (v well of) it had zero atmosphere.

You can create or do anything you want

UndertheCedartree · 22/09/2021 22:25

@RiotAtTheRodeo - well actually some parents and siblings are just really not that bothered even when you try to make an effort. So yep - me and my kids have a great time on our own!

Holly60 · 22/09/2021 22:29

How about doing a carol service on Christmas Eve and going to church on Christmas morning. The children will be able to take their toys to show everyone and it’s so lovely singing carols and celebrating with the whole congregation.

TubeOfSmarties · 23/09/2021 06:29

It's Christmas! Food, presents, time together. It's automatically special. I don't think you need to change anything other than your expectations that it has to be something in particular.

DDUW · 23/09/2021 06:38

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

NigelSlatersXmasTaters · 23/09/2021 09:13

"We just don't do Christmas for this reason. It would be rubbish with just me and the DC so we don't bother."

Oh that's awful! Why would it be rubbish? Don't the kids want to?

RiotAtTheRodeo · 23/09/2021 10:11

@DDUW

We just don't do Christmas for this reason. It would be rubbish with just me and the DC so we don't bother.
Wow, how sad for your children that they're denied a Christmas.
greenfluffytrees · 23/09/2021 12:02

@DDUW my parents didn't do Christmas for this reason. It depresses me to this day.

I do probably over compensate as an adult for all of my missed christmasses! I want my dc to grow up loving Christmas even if it is just the three of us, if anything it brings us all closer together because we appreciate we have each other and not everyone has even that.

TwinsandTrifle · 23/09/2021 13:38

@Tandoorimixedgrill

Sorry you lost your parents at a young age. This made me think of your DC. As you say they're young, (and I know this will sound insensitive, but I mean it for the greater good) they've never known any different than your family as it is. So to them, they're not sad, this is normal.

As adults I think we have an idea of that Christmas Carol scene, where all and sundry bustle round the table for Christmas dinner, and games galore... but DC aren't thinking like this. The memories you can create for them now are endless, and for them, everyone that matters is there.

Some Christmases I had were big, some were small. I know I saw some relatives around that time each year, but I honestly couldn't tell you much about those days, my sole memory of that is I had to get all dressed up and hated wearing tights.

What I do remember, is being in charge of stringing the angel hair on the tree. Making paper chains all day and putting them up everywhere. Crackers and being allowed to stow away all the jokes, little trinkets afterwards. Pigs in blankets, as many as I could eat. Watching DM look surprised as she unwrapped the bubble bath and chocolate I bought her every year, with the £10 I was given to do my Christmas shopping. These are my happy memories when I think of Christmas as a child.

I appreciate this maybe doesn't give you the Christmas you have as an ideal.... but once you focus less on what you can't change, you can look at what you can, and really make it special for DC.

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