Christmas hosting.... But I need a break!!

[Blablabla1984]

For the last 7 years we've hosted Christmas. PIL, my BIL and SIL come on Christmas Eve and stay till the 27th.
It's been lovely but I need a break!!

We have a 6 and 1 year old and my BIL and SIL have a 5m old baby now. PIL wouldn't host because their house is a mess, they wouldn't sort it so it's a bit of a danger trap for kids. BIL and SIL are in 1 bedroom apt so it would be a bit tight (hence why hosting gravitated to us).
I'd love to see everyone but also the amounts of food we have to sort for 4 days, cleaning the house before they come and after they leave and all the hosting bit is a bit much after 7 years.

I guess I feel like this as we've had a baby in the past year so of course with sleep deprivation, breastfeeding and getting busier I would want someone else to host us. What to do? Also, if we end up hosting again (which I suppose we will due to the reasons stated above), are there ways to make things easier on us?

I was previously the Christmas hoster every year as my parents and siblings live at opposite ends of the country.

To be fair they all do their share like washing up and stripping beds but it all became too much for me as Xmas is the busiest time of year for me work wise and I just ended up burnt out and exhausted by new year.

My SIL is a very strict vegan who feels ill around meat, DSis is veggie but doesn't eat cheese and the nieces and nephews have various food likes/dislikes/fussiness so it all became a right chore catering for them all.

Last year covid broke the cycle for us and I have already told everyone we are having xmas just us four this year. I suspect some of the family thought we would revert to the previous and are a bit miffed but tough!

Set the boundaries OP and get the xmas you want!

Our family of 4 usually go to my parents and stay a similar time- but we live over 4 hours drive away ( in non busy xmas traffic). As PP have said if they are only an hour or so away they don’t need to stay that long.

We make it work as follows but planning and agreeing upfront is key :
My mum loves making desserts so will have been filling the freezer for weeks . This is good because I don’t like making desserts! . I make and freeze in advance things like roasted apple & red cabbage , bread sauce, puréed parsnips and also canapés etc & take out of freezer as we leave. We have a relatively simple supper on Xmas eve . We bring the Xmas crackers & things like that My husband loves cooking the Turkey & making the stuffing so that’s his job and I do the rest of the main course for lunch; and my mum sorts Dessert My dad organises the wine . We strip the beds as we leave and I usually have shoved our towels in the washing machine as I leave . My sister &family usually comes too - they are veggie so they bring that option & other things. My parents are now getting older so more will fall to us but it absolutely works now and no one feels put upon .
I have only had the full set of DH family once for Xmas but they didn’t lift a finger to help at all . They also brought their incontinent dog ( we have a dog I know it happens as they age but I would clean up and be mortified if they weed on our hosts foot) . They haven’t been invited back for Xmas !

We usually have 13/14 of us, and frankly I'd rather chew my own arm off than do the usual. I run round like a blue arsed fly while everyone else loses the use of their arms and legs.

I'm too soft to cancel it but am doing a spreadsheet with who is buying what/clearing up/ helping out so I'm not a bag of adders by 11am. And if they don't help, it's the last time.

If they live this close invite everyone for Christmas lunch and one night if drinking.
Home on Boxing Day.

I forgot to mention that it's my DS's birthday 2 weeks before Christmas so everyone comes for that too 9but only for the day). So December is a bit busy as you can tell , which is why now we've had a baby I need a bit of a chilled one.

@thelastgoldeneagle

Tell them now: 'We enjoyed last Christmas in lockdown so much that we'd like a quiet Xmas again this year. It's too much to host you all for four days, especially with a newborn. Instead, you're all welcome to come for meal/walk/something else on .

^^This!

Just say “we’ve got a baby and won’t be doing it this year”.

I'm the same, we have the in laws here pretty much every year, this year I not doing it, I've been working from home for the past 18 months and I need to get out of the house. So I sent everyone the menu for a local hotel and said we are going here on Christmas day you are welcome to join us it's £65 a head and we need numbers by next week.

@BrilloPaddy

We usually have 13/14 of us, and frankly I'd rather chew my own arm off than do the usual. I run round like a blue arsed fly while everyone else loses the use of their arms and legs.

I'm too soft to cancel it but am doing a spreadsheet with who is buying what/clearing up/ helping out so I'm not a bag of adders by 11am. And if they don't help, it's the last time.

'A bag of adders'. . . I love this!

Just. Say. No.

You have a 1 year old. That is reason enough. Say you’re doing Christmas at home, just you. Or say you can all meet up somewhere for a nice walk on
Boxing Day, but don’t get pressured in to this. It’s not fair.