Poncetastic 2020

[VivaJen]

I came on looking for the annual thread but can't find it so here is the start (courtesy of Fellatio - wherever you are)

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

And once you’ve mastered custard then that’s the base to all of the Christmas ice creams: rum and raisin; baileys; stem ginger and Malibu (I accept the last probably falls short of poncetastic!)

Christmas ice cream you say, think we might need the recipe!

@waitingforadulthood you should sack the kitchen designer with immediate effect. Does he know nothing about design??

I will be making Delia's pickled onions when I get home from work. They've been soaking for 2 days!

Does homemade custard keep as well as birds homemade( as in the powder with sugar and milk added)? What's the shelf life?

I love all this trife-related poncery. It brightens up a rainy afternoon 😀

I can't decide if I like these birds for the tree or not . I had seen some others in the Christmas shop in town but they didn't have any left today when I had a quick look in :( . They did have huge baubles I'll pick up though closer to the time...I'm fast running out of stash space (no idea why )

Omg I forgot the pic again!

I love those birds! We have some white pigeon types for ours but your pink ones are prettier. Did you see them in one of the chain shops (e.g. Range or Paperchase) or a local one?

Had time to start the marmalade gin off this morning .
Thinking of Christmas cards design .....

@TrickyD they were in one of those 'pop up' Christmas shops in town. It was there I saw the glittered poinsettia too...then came home and ordered 10 from China for the price of one .

The actual birds are on ebay but est. delivery isn't until late December so might be pushing my luck a bit.

There were some in Poundland but they were white & didn't look quite as nice.

All this for some birds for the tree

Could you get the white ones and colour them pink lucysmam? Perhaps with poster paint powder or similar.

I don’t know how long the homemade custard would last if my family didn’t guzzle it all in one sitting

I wondered the same about glittering them Woolly. I suppose for all of £1 I could pick some up next time I go to town and see how they turn out!

I’m absolutely delighted to have found my people!!

I had very nearly lost my seasonal spirit, which is normally in full abundance by now but with a DH about to deploy and very likely over Christmas, morale to keep high for 3 DD’s and family 500 miles away I was feeling a bit miserable about the whole thing...

Ah hour with you lovely lot (reading over this wonderful thread) a pot of tea and my white company winter oil in the diffuser and I feel like Mrs Clause herself so thanks!!

I’ve also ordered one of Delia’s old Christmas cookbooks of EBay, asked my mum who is visiting next weekend to help me start the Christmas cake (could definitely do myself but thought would be a nice thing to do together) bookmarked the Christmas morning marmalade gin (delicious!!) and started a loose list for gift ideas for my girls.

We don’t have a fireplace but we do have a lovely piano which I use for a centrepiece for candles and foliage so I’ll be keeping an eye on ideas for that.

I also love to trawl eBay at this time of year for vintage children’s Christmas books and always add a couple to our collection which I leave lying around our sitting room. My youngest is 9 but we still look over all the lovely artwork and wonderful stories and Christmas wouldn’t be complete without them. Theres also something so nice about enjoying the same books in the excitement of the run up to Christmas like generations of children have done before.

In true poncetastic fashion I now feel like I need some kind of beautiful Christmas planner or journal to keep note of recipes, lists, gift ideas memories etc. Has anybody seen anything that will look suitably poncetastic but fit the job as well?

Gosh as usual your poncing puts me to shame but I love it. I love that i am not the only one thinking of wrapping schemes already (or at all) and I love that you have all furiously pinned half the same things as me. This thread is my happy place and this year it seems especially special!

I have ordered brown paper for wrapping though I doubt it will look especially great as I will let the children help me decorate it (I'm try to think of indoor activities now that a two week circuit break lockdown sounds more likely).

@Makedo I think brown paper looks wonderful, especially with some different design wide ribbons and some glittered pine cones tucked in the bows. For younger family members I’ve added mini candy canes to the bows too.

I’d let the DC decorate it to their hearts delight - you can always cut strips of the decorated paper to use instead if ribbon over the plain stuff, or cut out the labels from the decorated paper?

I feel your pain about the potential lockdown! I’m trying to think of other activities aside from paper chain making, baking, foraging and writing cards etc!

He just can't get his head around it, and at one point suggested a small tree that I could put on the worktop as a counter argument

Is that a pun? Counter argument?

@Makedo White potato prints on brown paper are lovely. And if the dc are young enough white handprints are lovely too.

Bought dried fruit for the cake this morning, and a bottle of brandy arrived on the shopping delivery. Let soaking commence...

@Trumpton

Yay ! Lovely ! I am awaiting delivery of my Sarah Raven Paperwhite narcissi bulbs to force on for Christmas flowers . I grown them on pebbles in hurricane lamps . Cake made on Wednesday last with help from the grandchildren . Let the poncing commence !

Omg this sounds like heights of poncetasticness that I wish for but never achieve - HURRICANE LIGHTS, you say?

I feel your pain about the potential lockdown! I’m trying to think of other activities aside from paper chain making, baking, foraging and writing cards etc!

Write a list of treats to go in the foodbank and go shopping for them. Forgive me if that sounds terribly worthy, but OH and I do a foodbank shopping trip each year and actually really enjoy it! Painting your own baubles? Can you still get those kits where you melt something (I have no idea, some kind of crushed crystals from memory?) into shapes as decorations?

All this for some birds for the tree
Yes, Lucysmam, but that is what poncetacticness is all about.

We’ve used brown paper for a few years for environmental reasons, tied with coloured twine and cardboard tags. We have used stamps to decorate too and I love the potato print idea for the kids.

We make the sherry trifle from the Prawn Cocktail Years by Simon Hopkinson and Lindsey Bareham. It has no jelly, and used amaretti biscuits. It is totally lush and I like to have it together with Christmas pudding almost as a sauce.

I can’t find the recipe online but this blog gives you an idea.

prawncocktailyears.com/2014/12/trifle/

Amaretti biscuits, you say. Oooh I feel an experiment coming on

@CoronaChristmas thanks so much for the custard recipe, I’ve just had a practice run at it and can safely say I’ll never buy a shop bought custard again, it’s delicious...

I’m planning on serving it on banana for my DD’s dessert tonight and have just been looking for vintage individual trifle dishes one eBay and not sure I have ever felt more retro!!!

Love the ideas of the amaretto biscuits too, definitely think I’ll need to have a full trifle practice one Sunday in the next few months!

For anyone looking for a nice Christmas book, with recipes, memoirs, ways to make the joy of Christmas stretch across the months I can highly recommend A Merry Midwinter by Gillian Monks. It’s the 2nd year I have dipped in and out of it from October onwards and it definitely gives you that beautiful magical and nostalgic glow from Christmas’s past and lots of lovely Poncetastic encouragement!!!

Aponce- only £7.21 on eBay! Should be here in a week. I am a sucker for a Christmas book

@rhihaf

Ooooooh, can I join in with the Christmas poncing please? I am LOVING this thread. I buy chilled puff pastry and fresh sausagemeat for sausage rolls, then make various versions (apple, black pudding, dried cranberries, caramelised onions/onion chutney) and freeze them raw, then cook from frozen. They are soo lovely warm :) I tried Nigella's Chrismas Chocolate cake once (the one with prunes?), a few years ago. Was ok, but I haven't made it since. I have been making Delia's Creole cake for a few years now, and go overboard with the pre-soaking of the fruit, adding sloe gin, damson brandy and any other poncetastic spirit I have in the house. Then I soak it for about a month before making the cake. I am loving all the ideas on here. You have all just recharged my poncetastic battery reserves , so thank you one and all!

Hmm. Not a top vote for the prune cake then. (Maybe not all that surprising!)

Any other recommendations for a non traditional Christmas cake would be appreciated. No one here is a massive fruit cake fan.

I've now successfully made chilli jam, apple butter, mincemeat and pomegranate vodka and gingerbread gin are steeping. Slightly worried I may have started too early on the spirits. Not convinced they will survive until December!

Aside from the cake and maybe a pudding I'm not sure there is much more foody stuff to do this month. Maybe time to turn my attention to some Christmas knitting.