Poncetastic 2020

[VivaJen]

I came on looking for the annual thread but can't find it so here is the start (courtesy of Fellatio - wherever you are)

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@Boholady. I’m very tempted to get that kit - they’re really beautiful and I’m thinking it could be a project with my eldest daughter who is very crafty.

Today is Christmas cake day - I’m excited!

Today we are planning our December Saturdays. We are making an advent calendar for each DC this year and the Saturday drawers will have a small clue about what we will be doing that day.
We’re also planning Christmas week menus. DH preps a Jamie Oliver style marmalade ham on 23 December every year, so when we come down on Christmas Eve morning the house smells wonderful.
I’ve never tried Nigella’s chocolate cake recipe, but I do use her traditional Christmas cake recipe every year.

Oooooooh, pulls up a chair, how have I not seen this thread before? Some fab ideas here, thanks for sharing. I have been poncing for weeks already, blackcurrant vodka and gooseberry vodka mellowing, plum chutneys done, apples gathered in for the spicy christmas apple chutney. Thinking to do one more maybe a red onion chutney if anyone has a tried and tested recipe please? Bottles and fabric squares bought, Extra jam jars winging their way from hobbycraft. Spent yesterday stashing, organising gifts in the attic and then adding them to gift app. Brought down the Christmas craft box, its quite heavy so I might need to be restrained buying this year. (Toughie I know) Ribbon stock is low. I made some very simple green and red berry table arrangements last year and am feeling a bit more adventurous this year so watching for those ideas too. Loving the sausage rolls upthread 😀

@Makedo we get loads of crab apples each year, they really only make crab apple jelly well as another poster suggested, its well worth doing as its scrummy. When we get a bumper year we have enough to make a marinade for roasting.

Do any of you have Christmas craft activity ideas I can do with children

Those Corrine Lapierre kits are really lovely, I've bought kits from there for gifts before now, but would love some for me!

@Boholady I know what you mean about enjoying taking your time over something like that, and what a great Christmas present to have all twelve!

The only poncing I've done this weekend is to order some whole candied peel (which Nigella insists is superior to the precut stuff). Also DH reminded me that we managed to smash the trifle bowl last year while washing up, so I'll have to track down a replacement.

There has to be trifle on boxing day!

I can't find any big, pink, bows that are super cheap on ebay :/

Those kits look gorgeous @Boholady.

I’m getting FOMO reading this thread. Might try the marmalade gin.

DH bought a cheap bottle of gin to make plum gin but the plums went off. So he drank the gin anyway!

Will see how we go for time. We move house next month so it’s pretty busy.

I have just bought some Xmas decorations this morning though. New house has a big hall which will fit a tree.

Years ago I bought some decorations in Ikea in non traditional colours - hot pink, lime green, turquoise etc. Have only used them a few times. Spotted some Shiny-Brite decorations on a website this morning and thought they would mix in really well. I did look at vintage ones but they are expensive. Did get some old gold/silver foil decorations too on Etsy. Remind me of the ones when I was a child.

How big is big, Lucysmam? Could you buy some ribbon and make your own? Lots of bow-making videos.

Erm...not sure TrickyD, I just fancy big bows to go with the other bits I've got winging their way to me. I think I'll have a go at my own; there were some pretty ribbons came up when I searched them!

@apumpkinaday what age are the children?

@noodledoodler 3 and 1

@apumpkinaday if you message me with your email address I will send you my pinterest board 😀

Thank you! @noodledoodler I’ll PM you now

Most sausage roll recipes do cook from frozen. However, my sausage meat was frozen once so needed cooking before it could be frozen again. And it meant we had to try them!

Oooh I have lurked on the poncetastic threads for years but never actually plucked up the courage to post until now!

Am due my first baby in eight weeks so decided to have a go at making a Christmas tree decoration for her. It's the first project I've ever made with a sewing machine (got one a fortnight ago) and I'm really pleased with it, although I am aware the embroidery is quite uneven!

Next thing I want to make is an actual full-sized stocking for her.

Have my fruit soaking in brandy for the Christmas cake and am strongly considering making the gingerbread gin someone posted up thread!

Ooooooh, can I join in with the Christmas poncing please? I am LOVING this thread.
I buy chilled puff pastry and fresh sausagemeat for sausage rolls, then make various versions (apple, black pudding, dried cranberries, caramelised onions/onion chutney) and freeze them raw, then cook from frozen. They are soo lovely warm :)
I tried Nigella's Chrismas Chocolate cake once (the one with prunes?), a few years ago. Was ok, but I haven't made it since.
I have been making Delia's Creole cake for a few years now, and go overboard with the pre-soaking of the fruit, adding sloe gin, damson brandy and any other poncetastic spirit I have in the house. Then I soak it for about a month before making the cake.
I am loving all the ideas on here. You have all just recharged my poncetastic battery reserves , so thank you one and all!

@Crocodilian the embroidery isn't uneven it's full of character. It looks lovely - all the letters are the same size and nothing is squeezed in.

I'm very nearly finished making my knitted wreath and I'm hoping to post it to its new home this week along with some stuff for the Woolly Hugs Christmas sale.

Next on the list are hand knitted socks for my two daughters. I taught myself to knit socks during lockdown. I've only made one pair (for myself) so far and they took a couple of weeks but I was battling with a frozen shoulder so I'm hoping I'll be a bit quicker this time round.

@rhihaf You have inspired me with your sausage roll flavours! I was going to order the M and S ring this year but I think I may try my hand at making some, especially if they freeze so well.

I’ve started the non-perishables shopping today and have stocked up on jars of goose fat and semolina for the roasts.

I’ve also drawn the template for this year’s gingerbread house. The awful weather has forced us indoors!

@Crocodilian it doesn't look uneven to me!

I'm half way through the soft book I washed yesterday but am considering unpicking the pages - one is maybe 4/5mm higher than the others & it'll bug me. So that's what I'll do tonight, & stitch the baby's name into it too.

@hintofvintagepink I tried making the sausage rolls with browned, softened onions but they just kept repeating on everyone 🤮 apple and black pudding were faves.
I know some ppl just use sausages in their skins. Generally I cut the pastry sheets into either 2 or 3 longwise, depending on ponce levels/size required. Somehow making a quick batch with 1 or 2 packs of justrol doesn't seem too taxing, even after work.

Does anyone use foil trays for pre freezing roasties or parmesan parsnips etc? Any good?

@apumpkinaday sorry I am not much good at messaging, that e mail address you sent, it keeps bouncing mail back to me

Excellent timing to spot this thread! I’ve been wondering what to start with this year.

I’m debating buying an embossed rolling pin (I’ve seen one with a Nordic reindeer and tree them). I think it’ll be great for biscuits and pastry. Has anyone tried one, are they any good?

@noodledoodler I’ve got my mom to email me and it’s not doing that for her. I’ll PM you again and see if I’ve spelt anything wrong

Oh fellow poncers - I would like to make a trifle this year. Or maybe individual trifles (as I don't need to expand my waistline even further).

Any tips? Family heirloom recipes? Make my own custard? Tinned fruit????