If you do the 4 present rule for your children.....

[Totallycluelessoverhere]

If you do the 4 present rule for your children (something you want, need, to wear and to read) is that the only presents they will get or do they also get presents from other family members?

We have never done the 4 present thing but other than me and my husband the only person who buys for our kids is my mum and she usually buys clothes. I honestly can’t imagine my young kids just getting one toy on Christmas day but maybe 8 would feel differently if they received some from family or got toys regularly throughout the year

@steppemum a political point about consumerism. Are you not familiar with the concept?

We don't buy physical toys bar birthdays and Christmas. DC are 7 and 5. We do go to a fair amount of events - both free and paid. Book Festivals, children's theatre, RSNO children's concerts, every local library & museum event, etc. They also do Rainbows/Beavers, swimming, youth theatre and DD1 does horse riding with R.D.A.

We do the 4 present rule for birthdays & Christmas. At Christmas, Father Christmas also brings one gift and a stocking. It is all they are used to so they haven't commented. They also get a gift from both sets of GPs (usually handmade like a knitted jumper/hat/knitted toy plus money into their bank accounts) and godparents (usually book tokens plus money into their bank accounts).

They get way, way, way less than I did as a child. I had gifts from 18 sets of aunts & uncles plus grandparents and godparents. But, my DC have never experienced that. Their normal is their normal.

This year at Christmas:

DC1 from FC - a violin and a stocking
Want - toy garage with cars
Need - Beavers blanket to start a badge
Wear - a bag for horse riding kit (R.D.A.)
Read - The Iron Man (Chris Mould edition)

DC2 from FC - toy hospital with dolls and a stocking
Want - Princess & the Frog play set
Need - ???? Help!!!!
Wear - Little Mermaid dress
Read - Aladdin (Phillip Pullman edition)

I've managed to get the violin, toy garage, toy hospital and Little Mermaid dress on eBay but I had to buy the rest new.

No idea what to get DD2 for 'need'! I'm running out of time!

Sometimes I think 'one toy' doesn't have to literally mean 'one'. For example if you are giving a baby doll as a present. I would buy the doll plus a couple of outfits and something like a pretend change bag. So more than 'one' toy but all part of the same gift. I always think that's better than several gifts that are all different types of toys - ie better to have 4 Lego sets from the same range rather than something like 1 Lego set, 1 superhero figure, 1 lol doll and 1 plastic plane.

We don’t do it, I buy my kids quite a bit but some of it is items of clothing and books. They don’t get much from relatives (cash from grandparents and that’s about it).

I do the 4 present rule. But they'll also get stockings plus presents from family.

The 4 present part makes it easier for me.

Maybe that’s where my thought process is wrong bookmum, I count all those as separate presents even though they are related and will be used together. I wrap them individually so on my mind that makes each one, one present rather Han it being collectively one present

I used to go way OTT on Xmas. They got totally overwhelmed, didn’t appreciate anything and we usually ended up chucking most of it out (pretty much unused) within the year. We scaled it right back and they now have a stocking (mixture of little bits and bobs and things like socks, PJs, a book) and one or two big presents each. We have lots of family on both sides who also buy for them, which is much more manageable now we’re not adding crazy amounts extra to the pile!

I agree with it being dependent both on family size and child age.

My dc will get around 14 presents from family (based on a quick count in my head) as we both have large familie. DC is also very young so don't want or need much. Me and dh only get a couple of things as dc already gets so much it feels pointless tbh. They would be massively overwhelmed if we got lots of presents for them too

We have huge families barney. Both mine and DH families are huge but only my mum buys the kids a gift. It’s pretty shit really because I used to buy for all my nieces and nephews when they were small and I know my other siblings exchanged presents for their children but when we had kids nobody bought anything. I guess because we had ours a bit later than everyone else they all got fed up of buying.

totally that's quite sad actually . At least you dont expect it anymore so wont be disappointed if family dont buy. We're lucky in that everyone in the family buys a gift. If they didnt I would definitely buy dc more.
I think it's more about the total number rather than who buys how many.
My child will end up with about 20 presents most likely. Whether they all come from us or split about 12 ways it doesnt matter at the end of the day.

@steppemum a political point about consumerism. Are you not familiar with the concept?

As mn might say - did you mean to be so condescending?

People buying 4 presents is not political grandstanding, or people making points about consumerism. They are doing what they feel comfortable with, within their budget. The comment about politics was a dig at anyone who spends less than the person who posted.
Unnecessary and childish.

As others have said, you spend what you are confortable spending. Given that one person's 'big present' may cost £30 and another person's big present is an ipad, it is pretty hard to compare anyway.

The 4 presents came from Santa/Mom. Other family members were not forbidden to give presents. We gave them presents too. So he got toys/clothes/books etc from cousin, aunts and uncles, a book from his teacher, a gift from his best friend, etc.

We also did traditional Christmas activities every year. Serving dinner at homeless shelter, caroling with the church choir, a Christmas Day Open House Brunch for neighbors with no family close by, etc. He remembers the activities much more clearly that the toys and games he got.

We don’t actually do this, but we have sort of fallen into (almost) this year, thanks to buying our boys bikes. They both have a bike (want). One then has a helmet, and the other some earphones (needs - long haul flight necessitate earphones). One has the Roald Dahl collections and the other the Magic Wishing Tree Books (read). Finally, to pad out the pile, one has slippers, and the other, a dressing gown.

This does feel quite sparse, although due to the bikes, we have spent much more than we normally would. It only really works for me, though, because their true wants, plus some, have been bought a by family. Saying that, though, PILs normally buy them lots, but have bought a big present between them this year, which further reducing their pile.

Same rudolph but we don't have anyone else spoiling them so it's down to us.
We save all-year for it, don't spend anything like some people do on here, we get lots second hand where we can, free, reduced etc.

We don't really pick thing's up during the year from shops.. And whilst I loved books and we do get dc a book or set, books is not restricted here. It's one day a year. I couldn't do 4 presents also mine are not keen or into clothes.

Mines getting a bike but it's second hand and cost 25 quid. 130 new. Perfect condition it will never cross her mind.

We couldnt do just 4 presents either. We dont really have other family that buy for them and we dont buy things regularly. So we have a doll, some lego, craft kit, clothing for hobby, some books, earrings, colouring pens etc. Probably costs less than those buying games consoles and big presents, and if we had more money we'd probably buy them more than 1 set of lego!

There's a dofference in a stocking from santa too. Ours are quite small, sweets, little make up thing, fidget toy, magazine sticking out. Others have sacks of toys in their "stocking."

So we buy more than 4 but if we bought just 4 our child would only have 4 presents. Some people that buy just 4 have family that buy for their other wants/they buy more often/they have a santa sack!

There is a benefit to family not buying barneythedinosaur, we get to choose all the gifts and don’t end up with a pile of shite

I completely disagree @steppemum both with your attribution of intention behind my words and with your over-generalisation about why people buy only four presents.

As pps have said, those who buy lots are not necessarily spending more. Those who buy hundreds of pounds worth of games console as 'one present' are not doing so primarily because of budgeting considerations.

And there's nothing inherently negative about political or anti-consumerist motives. Not sure why you're getting so het up about that possibility.

I like to get a "main" present from Santa and a wee pile of maybe 5 or 6 small things from us but this will include a book and clothes.

I try to stick to those rules (never quite manage it) but I also think its because my girls dont receive a lot from family so if they are a few toys they desperately want I'll get them as I know they wont get it from anyone else, I also try to add reason too because some of the things they ask for I know wont get played with. Try not to let the rule control your Christmas too much. For me it helps think about a range of gifts my girls would like.

I use the rhyme for the stockings so pjs, books, etc with favourite biscuits and chocolate for the eat part. Also get something from their list in their stocking as well.

Apart from that they each get a main present under the tree and one combined from their siblings - not a huge family buying for them and those that do usually get something between them like a game or jigsaw.

For us Christmas is all about the food

I hate the rhyme with a passion

In principle it's a good idea but I do buy a fair bit more, it's only DD and me here so no siblings or nephews/nieces to buy for and then just my parents, nana and sister so not huge amount of presents anyway overall.

The rhyme is good guide for stockings if you have large generous families like I do. I still supplement with odd stocking fillers as well. Just not mountains of that like you see on Facebook.
If you have a smaller family I wouldn't be so rigid to it. Every family situation is different and what works for one may not work for everyone else.