Struggling with small present pile guilt

[BillHadersNewWife]

Stupid I know...I went over board when my DC were small....they had massive piles as little children....now they're 15 and 11 and the things they want are much more expensive.

I've just gone through my list of what I have got and what I have to get still and I'm worried the piles will look miserable.

They will have about 10 gifts each...none of them are very big physically either so I am a bit worried.

Is there anything I can add which is big in size but not something that's just tat?

I thought of beach towels which they both love...and maybe a fleecy blanket...any other ideas please?

How do you normally arrange your presents? We have always just bunged them (artfully ) under the tree and the child that needs to calm down the most hands them out. There’s no identifiable single pile for each person so I don’t really get the ‘pile’ thing. Maybe try that?

Also do you take a picture of it? Or is it just literally mom guilt creeping in? Do you guys go to the beach on Christmas Day? My parents used to Leave out a cossie and towel and we all headed off there for a picnic Christmas lunch - I honestly only really remember that rather than the Christmas pile of presents.

I’ve just remembered your children’s ages - I’m not sure that there is one who needs a menial task to calm down!

Mine are 12, 14, 17 and 21.

They have a stocking with 7 things and a present from us.

Maximum spend per child is £200 but that might cover eg a new branded coat and the stocking bits will be sweets, posh socks, a bottle of Coke (much covered in my house!) etc.

Hi OP. My daughter is 13 so I don't know if yours are boys or girls but like you say if you want to get a couple more things to add to it then girls generally love cushions,throws,lightbox,photo clips or frames for there room which also won't be too expensive. Make up if a girl,nice stationary etc. And by the way 10 isn't loads of presents. Obviously you haven't said what you have bought them as main presents but if they are moaning at you for 10 then they will love me as i mush have about 15-18 tree presents. Lots of sack presents as well. I love Christmas and all that comes with it. I love to see everyone's faces at Christmas when they receive their presents. I don't buy for the sake of it,I generally go with a list and then add to it as when I see nice things that I know she will like. Teenagers definitely cost more money and £100 gets you not very much. Where as for a toddler that £100 would get a nice few toys. I think as long as people don't get themselves into debt for it then they should buy/spend whatever they like. No one else's business. Do what's right for you and your family.🎄🎅🏼😘

TEN presents?!? I think that is a tonne.

This is quite normal as you get so much less for your money as they get older. Mines 17 now so I've had a few years of this & I bulk up the look of the present pile up with empty boxes, cut them down & cover with wrapping paper. Fill it with tinsel, crushed up wrapping paper & lots of small useful gifts. Wrap in cellophane with a bow on top so it makes a big fancy looking gift box.

I do 3, 1 is toiletries, so I fill it with new face cloths, a few bottles of her favourite shampoos & conditioner, face creams, deodorant, hair serums, cleansers, but of jewellery etc etc. Another is her favourite sweets, crisps, drinks, cakes, fruit etc & another PJs, knickers, bra, socks, tights etc etc. All of the stuff in them tends to be stuff she'd spend her pocket money on or we'd have to buy throughout the course of the year, so she loves this as it frees up her pocket money & saves us money throughout the year too.

I think it seems present giving falls into two categories an individual pile/sack/pillowcase for each child or all presents under the tree...

I don’t think there is anything vulgar about a pile, for us as kids and now my children growing up it was where Santa had left your presents.

In our house Santa gives everything bar a gift for the table from us and presents for grandparents/Aunts/Uncles etc. I wonder if that changes things as there sack/pile and stocking is always left in a designated spot in the living room and they love excitedly talking about who’s pile goes where. (even though it never changes!!)

I don’t think 10 presents is excessive, admittedly we go way out at Christmas but we have enough to fill a big stocking, Santa sack and overflow around it. I loves spoiling them and their faces on Christmas morning when they see “he’s been” are one of my favourite parts of having children.

We never did 'piles' of presents for each DC, all presents go under the tree (including DH and mine etc) and just get handed out to whoever they are for, I only put them out on Christmas Eve so there will always be the magic of 'oooh lots of presents appeared under the tree - for everyone'. I find nice clothes, books etc while not exciting bulk out the pile and are always well received.

My 'struggle' is usually getting decent stocking fillers (more like a pillowcase size - shot myself in the foot with that) that aren't tat but aren't too expensive.

I have to say 10 is enough when they reach that age... gifts get smaller the bigger the children grow! My sons presents are often topped with stuffing would need to buy him anyway, so socks, boxers, pj bottoms, deodorant etc. This year even his stocking will be limited (to include a Gregg's voucher( he has one after school once a week that I pay for anyway) and some stationery for school)

Did you really mean 1.5%? On monthly pay of £2k (which is not far off the median salary), that would be £30.

Oops I meant annual household gross income not monthly 😀

At 15 I would have had maybe 2 presents under the tree from my parents and a stocking. I might have had a couple of extra things from grandparents or aunts/uncles but certainly nowhere near 10 presents.

My 17 year old is getting two presents from us, they are both quite expensive. He will also have a stocking which is not cheap!
Try not to feel guilty, 10 presents is plenty.

Why do people keep saying "pile" in inverted commas as though it's a dirty word. Makes you seem a bit try-hard....desperate not to appear working class or something.

@RockinHippy that's a great idea with the different themed boxes. 👍🎄☺️

People it's Christmas. Doesn't matter about the size of the pile or who has the biggest present lol . It matters that everyone is happy and you spend time together realistically.... it's just a magical time of year when you have kids and think this sometimes gets misssed over the pile guilt!
kids should be greatful for whatever they get and the younger ones are more happy with the box's then the toy!!! Mine don't look like they have much but they've had more then enough spent, the oldest boys are 18 and 16. They've got a pair of trainers and an outfit each then a smelly set ! 3 presents an their made up PLUS it's practical 🤣

They all still get a Xmas eve box with new pjs and books and a new Christmas cup with a hot choc set and a stocking with a little funny gift inside!
I still get one of my mum and i have 3 kids of my own and 4 SC!!!

Personally I don't think you should be trying to increase the physical size of the pile with extra presents. Your children are old enough to not believe in Father Christmas and well aware that the items they have asked for are small/expensive.

My 6 yo and I have already discussed that as he has asked for a games console, it's very expensive and he won't get many other presents this year. He has completely grasped that, and will be thrilled with what he's got.

I really think you should be managing expectations with your children for them to have a healthy understanding about the gifts they have asked for. You absolutely shouldn't be feeling guilt or pressure to buy more just to make their present pile bigger, so please don't.

@BillHadersNewWife was that Facebook comment directed at me? My comment was in response to a post above saying that people only want huge piles of presents so they can brag about it on social media. I'm on your side lol

our teen has asked for airpod pro's which are £250 and TINY.
It would be very hard to literally just have that matchbox sized present under the tree so we will get some more things - clothes / make-up / toiletries etc to pad it out a bit.

It is very, very easy to spend a lot on very little things for teens.

I find MN amusing for the sanctimonious posters who compete to spend the least amount possible! And I am 100% not referring to anyone who is on a tight budget but trying to do the best they can.