Struggling with small present pile guilt

[BillHadersNewWife]

Stupid I know...I went over board when my DC were small....they had massive piles as little children....now they're 15 and 11 and the things they want are much more expensive.

I've just gone through my list of what I have got and what I have to get still and I'm worried the piles will look miserable.

They will have about 10 gifts each...none of them are very big physically either so I am a bit worried.

Is there anything I can add which is big in size but not something that's just tat?

I thought of beach towels which they both love...and maybe a fleecy blanket...any other ideas please?

I agree that 10 is very generous anyway but if you want to pad it out a bit, could you put together a little hamper of some of their favourite treats?

Beach towels are a good idea. My kids are both getting those proper thick hooded change robe towels for the beach which they will love (we’re not in Aus...they just love water sports and it’s cold here!)

Do they need a bag of some kind?

Coffee thanks...the hamper is a good idea. We don't buy a lot of chocolate or general junk food here...so a box of their fave things would be very well received I think! I might put things like their fave chocolate drinks in there...crisps, chocolate bars and sweets. They both have bags...thing is I don't really buy them much throughout the year...obviously I buy them what they need but new clothes that are expensive brands are always gifts...or from the charity shop!

Luckily both DC and their mates love shopping at Savers...a sort of Aussie charity superstore...

So at Christmas I do like to get them some nice clothes. Things I won't buy generally.

I just put a small present in a large box.

There's loads of ideas on Pinterest for inexpensive gift hampers. You could do for example a hamper of toiletries or snacks. I've done movie night ones with a DVD, popcorn, drinks in.
A know a lot of mum's on here seem to favour gifting experiences as well e.g. paintballing, cinema vouchers, meal vouchers, a day pass for somewhere, pamper session etc.

Did they ever live in the UK? Just thought someone could send over penguin biscuits or whatever treat they remember fondly (ignore if they’re not from the Uk!)

What about new swimwear or goggles. A new towel also is a good idea and can be rolled and wrapped to look like a giant cracker!

New toiletries or wash bag? Sun protection like glasses or hats?

If you don’t have a traditional way to lay out your presents could you take advantage of the nicer weather and plan a treasure hunt? Have their stocking there when they waken up and a map in the bottom to give them the next clue etc.
Enjoy!!

@QueenWhatevs you must have missed the recent post about how much people are planning on spending. Most seemed to be spending £300+ even on babies/toddlers who would be happy with a single present.

Yes I didn't see that. Madness.

Gift piles do get significantly smaller as kids get older and 10 gifts is more than enough! You've got them what they've asked for.

I have a friend who always posts pictures of her sons’ birthday and Christmas present heaps on FB. She has now started doing Easter as well. She then had a go at me because she can’t understand how we afford to go on expensive holidays every couple of years!

Gosh I know how you feel, you can get really big things for the money and as they get to teens everything is so small and expensive ... but they would prob rather have this or money than a big thing ... when they get even a little older they will prob appreciate (even if they dont say) you doing a montage of when they were small or little events they've forgotten written on notes in a box.

What we've done for a few years during the teen years is have our family holiday in the Christmas holidays and their Christmas present was a trip and much time they took choosing the trip (or trips if they were smaller ones). And I had no cooking or cleaning too! (We still did all the things like decorations at home.)

I hear you. I feel exactly the same and my "kids" are 24 and 19 ffs! It's not them, it's me... it's me that feels that they need a big pile of large presents and no matter how hard I try I can't help feeling like I've let them (myself?) down if they don't get that.

This year though, due to various reasons, those piles will be significantly smaller. They'll both have around 10 gifts each and probably a third of those will be sweets/chocolates/selection boxes. I've told them both and they both slightly rolled their eyes at me saying "mum, we're adults now, you don't NEED to go mad!" Maybe it's a deep set slight sadness that they're growing up and all that magic, Father Christmas etc... is all long behind us.

I like the idea above though from a PP of setting the scene with festive balloons. Could then re-use them to decorate the backs of the chairs at the dinner table.

I'm astonished that some people are suggesting you buy more stuff.... 10 presents is plenty, and from the sounds of it they are high value items. The thing you need to work is not the present pile, but your own mindset.

You need to try to stop thinking that bigger and more means better. Stop thinking that presents = love/happiness. Have you thought about why you feel this way about material stuff?

you must have missed the recent post about how much people are planning on spending. Most seemed to be spending £300+ even on babies/toddlers who would be happy with a single present

I must have missed that too. Madness. No wonder the world is turning to shit when so many human beings just consume and consume and consume....

Fill the lounge with balloons, I kid you not, the shock of the full look under the tree when the pair walk into the room and the popping of balloon's is a great start to Christmas morning.

Obviously I realise it's not good to buy things for the sake of it or I wouldn't have posted.

You obviously don't realise this. They have 10 decent presents each. More than that is definitely just going to be buying things for the sake of it.

Yeah.... balloons are great for the environment too.

If the room must be filled with something, couldn't it be recyclable / reusable at least?

My dc’s piles are similar too(they are 13 and 15), they are getting clothes, youngest has a large Lego set so around 10-12 gifts. I have bought boards games for us all to play, they have dressing gowns and onesies and will get a stocking with smaller bits in.

I definitely haven't got them everything they asked for. I always tell them they'll get some of what they want.

I'm having the same issue
DS and DD 2-3 have about 14 presents each and a ike but it doesn't look much what so ever and I feel awful but like everyone says. You've spent enough on all of that so why buy more to clutter your house an it's never going to get looked at
Iv kind of realised that they have everything they want and although it may not look like much. It cost a lot and it's going to get its use. I'm determined to not buy for the sake of building the piles up this year because all the stuff I got to build up last year got given away or the dog used it as a chew for a day an it was in the bin anyway

But at them ages I'd wrap them in stupid boxes so they have no idea an keep the suspension going! I used to always do this as it pisses me off them guessing what they've got ! lol x

I can't believe the pressure people feel to have a "big pile" . It's shades of Dudley Dursley from Harry Potter. Why do people stress about it? Who is judging you? If it's the kids they really need it explained to them that the enjoyment of Christmas and the worth of family is not measured by the size of a pile!
We have always just had a budget and depending on what people want or need, the pile may be big or small. This year DS will have 1 main present and then a few treats (chocs, running socks etc)because the thing he wants is quite expensive.

I think it's fine, I certainly remember as I got older the presents reduced as I got higher value things like tech. My parents used to pair it with nice chocolates, an item of clothing or perfume so things that I would get longer term use out of.

Nobody should have a “pile” of presents for xmas, it’s totally excessive
It’s not just the cost, it’s the sheer excess.
My 2 have birthdays near xmas as well so we try to limit presents so they get things they really want and will enjoy but despite us asking them not to some family members still go mad and I end up finding things still not touched by July!
It’s mostly for the “look at a huge pile of stuff under our tree “ photos for social media, it’s just plain tacky

I think ten is a great amount especially if there is also a stocking with bubble bath and chocolate coins. I would add a magazine or book and also a towel sounds brilliant - I would love a huge fluffy bath sheet that only I was allowed to use! This sounds great.

This looks great!