Age limit on Santa...

[3littlemincemeatpies]

Noticed quite a few posters commenting about their children or others being too old for Santa, ie a a Santa pile/stocking/letter and the whole magic that goes along side it.

I’m going to be honest, from a parent who has a 13, 11 (Just) and 7 year old (two of which are on the cusp) I find this a little sad and wonder if this is end general consensus or a miserable few.

The ideas behind the imagination and magical side of things are so much more now when I was growing up, the naughty elf, Christmas Eve box, Santa’s runway in the back garden, NORAD but still I would have been hugely deflated as a older child if I didn't have the anticipation of hanging my stocking, composing an imaginary note and waiting till my lovely dad had made us wait on Christmas morning to see if “He has been!!” before we were allowed downstairs...

I’m 39 and till this day my folks have never told Santa Clause isn’t real!!

So to the people that do Santa to a certain age, genuine question how do you bridge the gap and go from Pj’s from the elf, polar express breakfasts and little souvenirs left from Santa on Christmas Morning to nothing because as a 9-(albeit slightly naive) young teen I would have been heartbroken, despite secretly knowing that Santa was mostly magic dust for my parents to stop everything...

Mine are 24, 22 and 13 and this is the first year the youngest hasn’t believed. We are still doing the Santa thing and everyone is going along with it.

VividImagination That’s so good to hear!!

We just never started it. She’s picked up bits and pieces from TV and other people (who seem to be fucking obsessed with it) and we’ve gone along with whatever she wants to think. She’s never been in the least bit bothered with it. L She’s busy disproving the entire notion this year using Einstein’s Theory of Relativity (she’s 9).

My DH is over 60 I'm not going to break his heart now [santa]
And no I'm not posting on the wrong thread

Mine are aged 18 to 29 and we always have Santa.
They love it. I love it. I do little stockings full of German chocolates too.

We also do a family gift exchange on Christmas Eve, where each DC gives all the others a gift (there are five DCs). There is a lot of joy in giving.
I get a gift from everyone but everyone knows I am Santa so my turn to give comes in the morning..

I honestly think you would have to be quite a curmudgeon to put an end to the fun of Christmas morning, even if the recipients of gifts were only getting a packet of undies or a pair of mittens.

I will never tell my DS Santa isn't real! I just can't even think about it! 😬 he's still so young at the moment. I'll have him believing until he's in his 20's if I get my way 😂

@mathanxiety that sounds wonderful!!

And I completely agree but it’s amazing how many posts I see saying “oh they are definitely too old for Santa” and it made me wonder how you go from one year giving them all the magic to the next saying there is none, shape up we do everything!

Mine are 26, 24, 21 and still track Santa on NORAD. We still do stockings and put out a brandy and mince pie.
We wouldn’t ever have dreamt of telling them anything except that the magic changes.

I still got a stocking from Santa until I moved in with my now DH aged 27! I don't plan on stopping for my own DC any time soon, whether they believe or not.

To be fair I don’t think many people just announce it to a child who still believes, do they? Most small children will question the whole Santa thing but are happy to accept “because of elf magic” and “well, reindeer can travel faster than the speed of light” and so on but they all eventually get to the stage where it dawns on them that it’s their parents.

I definitely don’t know anyone who stops doing Christmas just because the dc no longer believe in Santa! Ok they may eventually stop doing things like elf or whatever but surely that’s more because dc outgrow those things anyway.

I'm a fully grown adult and I still do Santa; I have a stocking, an advent, all of my presents and stocking gifts come from Santa, I track Santa on Christmas Eve, I write a list every year, I can never sleep on the 24th with excitement and I am up at stupid o clock on Christmas morning to open my presents.

I believe in the magic of Christmas, because that is what was instilled in me as a child and I will continue to believe; OK I know Santa is not real but the joy is real and I for one will never let that go. My mum gave us amazing Christmas memories as children and she still does so now and that is something that has been passed down to my nieces and nephews, they all love Christmas whether they still believe in Santa or not.

I've read comments on here about 7 year olds not believing and parents wondering if their 8 year old is too old to believe and I am honestly shocked because at 7/8 I massively believed, there was no doubt but I suppose every family is different.

I didn’t imagine that my dc would work it out so soon. Both came to me separately and asked and I believe that it’s important to celebrate their growing intelligence and powers of deduction and affirm them as older, wiser children rather than going into denial and trying to hold on to the innocence of childhood. My dm was very vague when I asked her years ago; Santa brings presents as long as you believe he does and to this day is still proud of this as a truthful statement that gives away nothing. The thing is, I really needed my dm to give me a straight answer at a time when I was confused, a bit humiliated by school friends and heart broken.
So with mine, I deflected gently asking “hmm what do you think?” until one day I was told in detail, by one, why it didn’t make rational sense. And the other, in turn said, “Mum, I just need you to tell me the truth.”

I was heartbroken.

I asked if they’d like to go on playing “the Santa game” and they very much want to. For a while they kept it up for each other which is sweet and part of the magic in a different way.
This year they know the other one knows. But they still want to visit a grotto (I’m not 100% sure that the Santa we visit isn’t real) and we’ve added in some silliness like elf on the shelf and elf letters too. We had to have a fairly frank discussion of budgets this year but mostly I continue referring to Santa (sometimes with a wink) and they still have no idea where their gifts are, or what, besides the main one, he might bring.
Obviously I can’t know for sure, but I hope that this way of doing things keeps things fun and magical for a while yet. I didn’t like pretending for my parents, not feeling I could talk openly, the hollowness of going through the motions on Christmas Day. It felt like a weight and I don’t want them to carry that.
I was ready with my complicated, quantum physics-based explanations but when it came to the crunch preserving their belief in Santa wasn’t as important as supporting their emerging self-belief.

@3littlemincemeatpies I'm 34 and my parents have never had this conversation with me either! I won't have it with my children. I just cannot being myself to be the person to confirm this to them. My older two probably already know. I don't go out of my way to encourage them to believe as they are both definitely old enough. If my son, who is my middle child, asks if he is real or if I believe I always reply, of course I believe in the magic of Father Christmas. And I really do.
I will never understand or agree with those who tell their children that there is no Father Christmas so that their children are aware their parents are the ones who bought the gifts. I think that is really quite selfish. Giving gifts shouldn't be about that if it means the children don't get to experience the magic. My kids are fully aware that we pay for the gifts but it is up to Father Christmas to decide if they have behaved enough to receive them.

@WagtailRobin you sound the same as me with the level of excitement and also think you and I have read the same posts!!

@Barbarara you sound like an awesome mum and doing everything to keep the magic going.

duckme I also think it’s very selfish and a bit spoilt to want to take the credit for Sara presents, 5 year old Susan isn’t going to unwrap the much wanted doll house that she is dreamt off and care if it’s from Santa or Mummy and Daddy and any parents that sit waiting for a pat on the back and the appreciation squad to jump out at killing the magic for their child.

As a child and growing up my favourite ever Christmas present was a navy cord pram with big silver wheels and knitted blankets. My folks didn’t have a lot of money and we weren’t ever allowed the luxury things during the year that today’s (and my own) kids get so having such big gift sitting waiting for me on Christmas morning from Santa was like a dream and I asked my parents several times if Santa had made a mistake as couldn’t believe it was mine. Magic is the the only way I can describe.

What I found out when I had my own 1st child and was throwing money at every plastic noisemaker, as you do. Is that my dear old mum had seen that special pram in the co/op window and had saved her stamps ever week until she had enough to buy it, my parents didn’t have a car so they had walked 4 miles on Christmas to eve to wheel it down the road, dad said they had to cover it with bin bags as it was so blizzardy. My mum had then knitted through the night to finish of the beautiful blankets in the inside and had said the were still damp from being pressed as I woke up, I of course was in awe that they had the remaining melted snow from the North Pole!!

I love that story and think about it often when I get overwhelmed by the financial strain and all the other stresses of Christmas and it really reminds me what Christmas should really be about but I also feel so lucky that my folks injected such magic and fun into Christmas without needing anything more than my delight back in return.

I've never believed in FC - my dad woke me getting to my stocking when I was four - and with my own kids we've always done "people say FC comes and leaves presents".
They know perfectly well it's parents but at 10 and 7 are still eager to hang up stockings, write letters to FC and various figures they've invented themselves, get elves to put items from them into sibling's stockings, etc.
Just becsuse you know how magic is done doesnt stop it being amazing. I've had adults have Xmas with us struck dumb in wonder at getting a stocking.

My four all stopped believing at around 7-8 as did most of their friends and cousins. My grandchildren seem to be the same. The older ones loved being in on the secret and keeping it going for the younger ones. It honestly never stopped them being massively excited, or hanging up their stockings, watching Christmas films etc. In my experience children work it out for themselves long before they spoil it for their parents.

I have very find memories of going out to the pub on Christmas Eve as a late teen and leaving out the mince pie and carrot for Father Christmas! No big conversation with my parents either, I remember suspecting he wasn't real but was worried if I said anything I wouldn't get presents!

@apostropheuse the reason I think we might just have another year with my 11 year old is that her bedroom is down stairs and she will not sleep in it on Christmas Eve as doesn’t want to get “Santa Eyes” (basically loves Santa when he drops of the presents downstairs but has no inclination to see him at her end of her bed!!)

My younger one twigged at about 9, with the older one (11) still believing at that point. The same year I overheard the older one talking about it with another boy and the other boy was clearly incredulous that DS hadn't worked it out and was about to start teasing him so I interrupted them. I had to have a chat with DS after that. Christmas was slightly awkward that year but since then we've embraced it again and still Norad, carrots and mince pies out for Santa, stockings on the bed, its as exciting as ever.

My children (eldest will be 4 at Xmas) knows Santa isn't real.
You don't need to do Santa to have a lovey magical time. We have a small stocking 'from' Santa but make it clear it's just pretend and really from us as I don't want to confuse them. It doesn't stop them from being extremely excited. Children love games.

OP I love that story about your little pram. That's the spirit of Christmas there. How lovely of your parents! I won't be telling my dcs, I was devastated when I found out at 12! I was a naive child but times were different. Keep the magic alive always!

I do think it's unfair to let a child go to secondary believing in Santa, and my parents had the conversation with us when we were... I dunno, ten or so?

But I'm 35 and Santa still comes to me and my sister (and now our husbands) at my mum's house! It's a bit convoluted now the years everyone is there as someone has to sleep in the living room, but we all play along.

I'm not sure if mum has realised that soon DD (first grandchild) will understand and maybe Santa shouldn't be coming to her parents...

Mine are 9, 17 and 25 and because I've always had a young believer, they still hang out their stockings. I don't know what happens in the next few years but my guess is that nothing will change. My eldest does have her boyfriend with her this Christmas so I don't know how to approach that! They normally put out a huge bag each that I fill. Perhaps my eldest can put her bag out for them to share!

I was 5 because I found out myself and my mother wasn't one for lying to me if I asked a direct question. My own children were not much older.

Mine are 10, 8 and 6 and all still believe. Youngest starts secondary school next September and so many people have said this is the last year we’ll have with her still believing as we should tell her the truth so she doesn’t get bullied 😞