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Original poster

Age limit on Santa...

82 replies

3littlemincemeatpies · 31/10/2019 22:44

Noticed quite a few posters commenting about their children or others being too old for Santa, ie a a Santa pile/stocking/letter and the whole magic that goes along side it.

I’m going to be honest, from a parent who has a 13, 11 (Just) and 7 year old (two of which are on the cusp) I find this a little sad and wonder if this is end general consensus or a miserable few.

The ideas behind the imagination and magical side of things are so much more now when I was growing up, the naughty elf, Christmas Eve box, Santa’s runway in the back garden, NORAD but still I would have been hugely deflated as a older child if I didn't have the anticipation of hanging my stocking, composing an imaginary note and waiting till my lovely dad had made us wait on Christmas morning to see if “He has been!!” before we were allowed downstairs...

I’m 39 and till this day my folks have never told Santa Clause isn’t real!! Smile

So to the people that do Santa to a certain age, genuine question how do you bridge the gap and go from Pj’s from the elf, polar express breakfasts and little souvenirs left from Santa on Christmas Morning to nothing because as a 9-(albeit slightly naive) young teen I would have been heartbroken, despite secretly knowing that Santa was mostly magic dust for my parents to stop everything...

OP posts:
WineIsMyCarb · 01/11/2019 07:54

I am 33 and I do hope that on the sofa in the 'posh lounge' (only allowed access at Xmas) there will be a couple of prezzies for me from Father Christmas. Obviously I know it's a rouse but my DSis is only 29 so we go along with it for her.

Original poster
3littlemincemeatpies · 01/11/2019 07:56

@JustAnotherMammi no judgement here how others do Christmas and I’m in no doubt that the majority of houses have a fun and exciting time however they choose to do it.

I’m more intrigued in how people that do Santa bridge the gap between all the magic, naughty elves, Christmas Eve boxes and sacks straight of the sleigh to “John your too old for Santa this year” It’s us that does it all.

OP posts:
Original poster
3littlemincemeatpies · 01/11/2019 08:05

@IceBlock I hear this all the time, we need to set the record straight before secondary but I’m yet to hear of one tale of a child getting picked on or ostracised because they have announced in front of their street cool friends that they are writing there letter to Santa Clause after school...

By that point kids, even if they are on the cusp have quite good self preservation and know despite what they choose to believe, or by that age be pondering others may think and do things differently.

It’s the same as the threads about people worrying that their kid might have a pile of presents half the size as their mate down the road. I have 3 girls and all like to visit their friends around Christmas some I’m sure have received much more and possibly some less but they have never came back saying “oh my goodness you should see how little/much little Jenny got!”

OP posts:
Divebar · 01/11/2019 08:23

We have a small stocking 'from' Santa but make it clear it's just pretend and really from us as I don't want to confuse them

Why is it confusing for a 4 year old to have a stocking from Santa? . It is the most straightforward concept ever - mainly because it’s enforced very effectively in our culture. I don’t understand the need for parents to make it any more complicated than that. The main presents don’t have to come from him - in fact I think it’s better that the main presents don’t. My own DD7 has just announced she doesn’t believe in the tooth fairy ... or fairies at all. Apparently it’s just DH and me. I did ask her if she believed in FC and she still does thankfully. I’m no quite clear on her logic but it doesn’t need to be logical. There’s so little magic in the world anymore that I’m perfectly happy to embrace this bit for as long as possible.

NeedAnExpert · 01/11/2019 08:38

There’s so little magic in the world anymore

I completely disagree. I don’t think “going along with the crowd” is particularly magical. Children’s imaginations are far more magical to me, as is nature if you only notice it. The way a cake rises and tastes. Making up silly games and songs of our own is a magical part of winter for us. Scientific discovery is magical to me. Musical/theatre performances can be spellbinding.

I find Xmas really constraining and do everything I can to avoid it. This year we’ll be in Spain where children don’t get presents on 25th Dec. Cultural difference, scenery and the sun on our backs will be far more magical than an imaginary fat man in a red suit.

Divebar · 01/11/2019 09:21

And you felt the need to come on a Christmas thread to say that? I disagree... science is cool but it’s not magical. It is the opposite of magical since it is the logical explanation. I don’t want everything in my life to be logical and have an explanation. I want a little mystery, a little bit of wondering and imagining. I also want the possibility of snow.
Hope you have a lovely time in Spain but I wouldn’t trade.

ysmaem · 01/11/2019 09:22

My eldest is 8 and I wouldn't dream of spoiling christmas for him by saying sants isn't real. That's awful! He can believe for aslong as he wishes too

Original poster
3littlemincemeatpies · 01/11/2019 09:23

@Divebar agree 100%

OP posts:
Gatehouse77 · 01/11/2019 09:33

I’m not sure when mine stopped believing but I’m fairly confident it was before the end of primary school.
We’ve always told our 3 that if you say you don’t believe then Father Christmas won’t leave you a stocking (stockings and one family present is all FC does here).
I get DH a stocking. My sister and I used to do each other but DH will do mine from now on but I will still do one for DSis.
My 3 (4!) love getting up on Christmas morning to see what FC has brought them. The family gift is usually a DVD or board game that we’ll play later that day.

So, you’re never too old in our family!

NeedAnExpert · 01/11/2019 09:52

I want a little mystery

Everything is a mystery until you work it out. A made up story about a fat bloke with a chimney fetish isn’t a mystery, is it?

NeedAnExpert · 01/11/2019 09:54

We’ve always told our 3 that if you say you don’t believe then Father Christmas won’t leave you a stocking

Very reminiscent of the crusades, where pagans were threatened with death if they didn’t convert to Christianity. They even stole most of the festivities to make it more appealing. Warms the cockles of your heart, doesn’t it?

Barbarara · 01/11/2019 10:10

Tears in my eyes reading about your pram! The blankets damp from melted North Pole snow! So lovely.

BlueOooChristmas · 01/11/2019 11:59

Also agree with @Divebar and it would be great to get back to replies to the original question (which is a good one). Obviously varied responses are great but the original poster asked a question that doesn't apply to you @NeedAnExpert so no point arguing with everyone that's actually trying to reply.

To the OP I think it's a really interesting question! I have two girls (4 & 7) and when doing spellings homework the other day my eldest caught me paging through a local paper and saw a big picture of Santa. I caught her looking and she just came out with "Santa must be real because how else would all the presents get here in the middle of the night". Being a complete Christmas freak I knew this was coming but have to say my heart sank a little. I asked her what made her say that and she said "dunno". I didn't commit either way, just listened and nodded. I suspect the first mutterings of him not being real have started at school. Which is fine and normal. When she works it out I won't lie to her but try to say that Santa is a fun game and that Christmas is all about kindness and selfless generosity. I know she will want to pretend for her little sister so I think it will be an easy sell. When the little one works it out? ... I might just suggest we keep it up as the dog doesn't know yet. :p

We do boxes, and elves and I honestly have no plans to stop, I do it as much for my enjoyment as theirs. I do think there is a natural age for them to work it out and them being "so clever" should be celebrated, I guess if you think they are getting "too old" a few sloppy clues could be left behind. I worked it out when some miserable little git in reception told me it was my mum and dad. I think I kept the pretence up for my parents (and for myself) a few more years before saying it out loud. My Dad was very upset as I was the last child and said there would be no presents if I didn't believe but my Mum's face told me all I needed to know. As an adult I now understand why my Dad was disappointed but wouldn't do that to my own kids as it just made me feel bad for working it out.

So my view is the traditions you make don't have to stop when everyone knows. It's just done with a nod and a wink and always praise them for being clever and working it out. If they're getting a bit old help them along but I really don't think a sit down chat is necessary. I have a feeling I'll be following through on this by Christmas myself this year.

Reachedsohigh · 01/11/2019 12:12

DS is almost 15 so obviously doesn't believe any more. We never had the 'Santa isn't real' chat, kids naturally come to their own conclusions. I have no idea when he knew but we let him lead....we asked if he wanted to see Santa, he's said no for a few years now so we didn't push it. He wanted to leave his stocking downstairs last year not in his room, again, that's fine. We still leave mince pies out, still track Santa, it's a bit of fun. I've never heard of a child being bullied at school for believing.

Raindancer411 · 01/11/2019 12:13

My son is 7 and still believes, and I want him to for as long as possible. I remember that magic when I was little and it's all part of my lovely childhood. They grow too fast so why not make the most of it??

Lulualla · 01/11/2019 12:16

I'm in my 30s. I live on the same block as my parents. Last year I caught my mum coming into the house at 3am with a stocking from 'Santa' (I was awake building toys).
You don't ever have to stop being Santa.

HolyGuac · 01/11/2019 12:45

Full on Santa mode here, stockings out, carrot for Rudolph, a glass of port and mince pie for Santa. My daughter is well
Into her teens and loves it.
New baby cousin coming this year so that helps with keeping the magic.

jackparlabane · 01/11/2019 12:59

Back when mine were 3 and 6 and dc1 asked if santa was real, I said "which do you think is more likely, a guy with flying reindeer manages to drop off presents to millions of houses in one night, or that loads of grown-ups are pretending and making presents appear for all the children?"

Dc1 retorted that all the parents would never be that nice and go to all that effort, so it must be magic.

The fact that we enable what looks like magic to happen is definitely magic!

Themazeoflife · 01/11/2019 13:06

My adult DC would not be impressed if Santa did not come, that's what till makes Christmas fun.

We still do Elf's, Santa's milk and cookies, carrot for reindeers, Christmas Eve boxes, Stockings etc

The elves are the best bit, everyone moves them around or hides, it even surprises me when I find them in daft places, like the fridge.

GruciusMalfoy · 01/11/2019 13:44

My oldest is 11 and this is his third year of being a non believer. I think it helps that we have a younger child who still absolutely believes in it, but we've never had a reason to tell him we do it all, he asked about it and I was honest. He never sees gifts before Christmas morning, and knows a few of his things will be surprises. We'll always do a Christnas eve box, with new PJs and treats, make it a surprise, and still do nice trips out.

Santa bringing a gift is really a very small part of what Christmas is for us.

CornishMaid1 · 01/11/2019 15:42

I am not sure there is a definite 'too old' age. I think when the child works it out is the age, which will vary.

My thought is that there was a Santa - the original Saint Nicholas - but I have never seen Santa to know if he is real or not so you can choose to believe or not, but Christmas is about so much more than whether a man lives in the North Pole.

Original poster
3littlemincemeatpies · 01/11/2019 16:00

I think quite a lot of people are missing my point. I know all children will have an age when they will come to realise it’s not possible for one man to deliver presents to children all over the world, I also know some houses have different traditions and beliefs.

My op is about how parents that do Santa, the naughty Elf, Santa’s runway, reindeer food, tracking Santa (the list could go on) handle that transition and in particular those that just stop all magic that seem to think there is an age where it isn’t acceptable any more. This comes off the back or reading posts on here with words to that effect.

OP posts:
Themazeoflife · 01/11/2019 16:28

My op is about how parents that do Santa, the naughty Elf, Santa’s runway, reindeer food, tracking Santa (the list could go on) handle that transition and in particular those that just stop all magic that seem to think there is an age where it isn’t acceptable any more

IMO there is no age limit, as I said earlier adult DC and I, still do all, the above every year.

Themazeoflife · 01/11/2019 16:28

bold fail

ConstantlyCooking · 01/11/2019 18:02

I have carried on doing stockings for DS and DD, who are both adults. Whatever age you are, it is fun to have gifts appear overnight under the tree. I even started a Christmas Eve box a few years ago. It appears with Christmas treats and our battered copy of The Night Before Christmas when we get back from the Christmas Eve service. This year DDiL and DGD will be getting stockings as well!