What's the WORST secret Santa present you've ever had?

[ThreeLittleDinosaursROAR]

There's a thread about the best, but I thought the worst would be funnier. 😁 Would like it to keep it light, so no comments about being ungrateful etc please!

So what's the worst secret Santa present you've ever had?

A gigantic mug from a work colleague who knows I don't drink tea or coffee.

A colour print out of the ‘no smoking’ sign (just printed on normal copy paper, I.e. the sort you get in an office like ours...) in a cheap silver frame. No, I don’t smoke! Never found out who it was from either

A ‘horny devil’ kit involving horns on a headband and red face paint. My colleague said she got me as her secret Santa and what would I like- I said something lavendery please like bath foam. And then I got that! Had to open it in front of whole office, was mortifying!

I was given a vibrating “bullet” from Ann summers....at my WORK ss, in an office, in the nhs....I was the youngest in the office. I never found out who bought it but I’ve honestly never been so baffled or found anything so unprofessional in all my life!! Mortified.

A swanee whistle and a vanilla reed diffuser. No idea.

I'm well known in the office for never wearing black or pink

What an oddly specific thing to be known for. (Do you only wear one colour or so you wear all the colours but not black/pink?)

Even if you didn’t wear pink on the charity day and black on picture day do you think everyone in the office definitely would have noticed and noted it?

Some of these are really bizarre and make you question people's thought process.

I wouldn't say mine was bad, more unfortunate circumstances.
I got a soap and hand moisturiser set with a bacon scented candle that was for another colleague, basically the woman who got me, got up and walked out the week we were to do secret santa, so I got her gift from the colleague who'd pulled her out the jar 😂

A bottle of white wine. I don't really drink white wine, much prefer red but wouldn't have expected work colleague to know that. I was however pregnant and colleagues definitely knew. Another colleague in the same secret Santa also received a bottle of wine despite being Muslim.

One of those hideous sets of bastard bath cubes in fucking lavender..... I'd really made an effort that year too and bought lovely gifts.

A small blue picture frame with a dolphin on it.

A plastic pouch with four small bottles of Next body lotion/shower wash stuff. Really dated looking, dusty and the lotions smelt rancid with a grubby peeling £3 tag on the bottom. I wouldn’t have been bothered but the giver was the highest paid person in the group, and should have bought something for the tenner agreed rather than regifting some ancient pile of crap she had probably had in the bottom of a drawer for a decade.

Been at a company 2 years. First year got a book on coconuts (no idea why) and the next year a mini bonsai tree kit (even less idea why!)

A 5-in-1 car took that has a tyre pressure check, and emergency seat belt cutter, emergency window hammer, a torch and something else I can’t remember now. It was clearly from the random bins in the middle of Aldi. The gift was also so badly wrapped. The paper was really cheap and nasty and torn from the roll. It was wrapped with a lot of the inside showing and secured with half a roll of sellotape.

Also a martine mccutcheon (?) cd. I never actually listened to it and still don't know who this lady is.

A test tube of fake snow, and a pound shop chocolate pack. I'm allergic to chocolate as my colleagues know.

I got a really naff - like £ shop bag of miniature shower gels. Never heard of the company that made it. I had bought a really beautiful china mug that I had had gift wrapped in the shop. It was a £10 limit and everyone else got prosecco/wine and nice chocolates etc mine went straight in the bin as didn't fancy the hives.

Got something equally hideous the next year so I don't do them now.

A half burnt candle......
And I know who gave it as a SS gift.

Something like this from the poundshop that didn’t even work. The limit was £10 and I was 26. I’ve never done SS again

Shit in a can and a bunch of fake flowers

The worst I got was when I was working in a mainly male department, one of only a few females. I was young, in my mid to late 20s.

I was gifted a kitchen apron. On which was printed Michaelangelo's statue of David, except it didn't have the head or below the knows knees. Basically a male torso and big cock and balls. ☹️

I didn't find it very funny. Many of my make colleagues thought it was a hoot. It was completely inappropriate.

A neon green mankini
I’m female 😯

A bottle of V.I.Poo, I previously was given a gift that someone else had received the year before, and some JLo perfume that smells like old Ladies. Disappointing because I always think about the person I'm buying for and usually go over budget.

I've given up now and don't take part.

@nameymcnamechangeagain must be something in the water in the nhs offices. I work in the nhs in an office too and someone once received a sexy Ann summers outfit 🤣 crying laughing at the thought of opening a vibrator in front of everyone.... my face would be beetroot!!!!!

whitecandle it's an awful feeling.

Years ago I was a deputy manager to a new team. I was 27, manager was 10 years older. Our SS's had gone to Anne summers together and bought us both pink vibrators. Mine was a small bullet thing but managers was a huge lifesize monstrosity.
We were out for an extended Christmas lunch in a nice restaurant - I've never cringed so much!