Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

MIL calls at stroke of midnight on new years eve every year

139 replies

ventia · 12/12/2018 14:06

yes thats right! If we are at home the phone goes. No idea if she calls the years we are out.

so last year I unplugged phone and will replug 10 mins after midnight.
(she does not call mobiles for some reason)

DH seems oblivious and picks up phone to her.

I have not mentioned it to him, I am sure he would tell her to phone later, if I say something, he seems not to mind, but I do. I would rather unplug her, as it seems so bizarre that she expects to pick up just as most people are raising their glasses. I think she has always done it. She has other kids, but she calls DH at midnight, no idea if or when she calls the others. she is not controlling in other ways

last year when plugged back in, the call came through 10 mins after and she seemed very flustered that she did not come through. BTW she is with her own husband and sometimes other people/neighbours when she does the call, so she is disrupting x2 stroke of midnight glass clinks - bizarre

OP posts:
Laiste · 12/12/2018 16:20

Lots of posters saying it's normal and they also ring their friends and family at midnight.

How??

You only get about 12 seconds of midnight bongs and 'midnight' itself lasts one minute. Are you all yelling Happy New Year to the people physically in the room with you while simultaneously dialing 3 or 4 phones and shouting down those as well? Confused Grin

I get what the OP is saying. It's just a subtle thing. Hang on till the actual bongs are over and then do phone calls. OR OP, ring MIL at about 5 to and keep her on loudspeaker so she can hear you all during the bongs.

Confusedbeetle · 12/12/2018 16:37

You are very unkind, she is wanting to share that moment at the same time with you. You will upset her at this rate. Why cant you say happy new year to her while clinking glasses and watching fireworks? It only takes a moment. Have a heart

sollyfromsurrey · 12/12/2018 16:39

DH isn't an only child....why does MIL insist on calling HIM specifically on the dot of midnight? Why doesn't she want to spend that exact moment cheering with her DH or calling her other DC? Why always call this one son on the chime of midnight. Sounds weird.

abacucat · 12/12/2018 16:43

My mum does this at the chimes. Neither I or DP care.

Fashionista101 · 12/12/2018 16:53

@ravenmum it was awful, I call her every New Year's Eve now no matter what, she knows why too and has never not answered. No matter where we are Smile

limitedperiodonly · 12/12/2018 17:10

My SIL used to do that - well, we'd get a call about 10 minutes into the New Year because she used to ring everyone in turn. It didn't mean much to me but it meant a lot to her and was harmless and sweet - like her, really.

You don't sound so charming.

Serin · 12/12/2018 19:51

She's ringing the person who means the most to her isn't she.
You sound jealous OP.

sollyfromsurrey · 12/12/2018 22:49

ffs Serin why do people like you always assume people with a gripe are 'jealous'? Seriously? There are a whole host of reasons people can be pissed off and none of them involve jealousy.

When someone calls on the phone they are demanding individual attention. That's what a phone call does. It kills the group celebration flat. It just ends the whooping with someone going 'hang on, hang oneveryone....shush everyone shush......it's the phone...hello? Oh, hey mum....' and then everyone has to suspend their celebrations to deal with the call. Bam, festivities halted to deal with mum on the phone. When people are celebrating in a group it is just not appropriate to call at the exact prime moment expecting all festivities to stop to pander to your personal demand for attention. People should call at 12:15. Stop being an annoyance. It's like calling just when the candles are being blown out on a cake...'stop and talk to ME.....NOW...' just self-focussed and demanding.

MyNameIsNotSteven · 12/12/2018 23:01

Have you ever thought to invite her to join you on NYE?

pfwow · 14/12/2018 15:21

Exactly sollyfromsully just leaving it a minute would be polite.

BarbaraofSevillle · 14/12/2018 15:52

There's no law that says you have to answer a ringing phone

^ This! If she rings at exactly^ midnight when you're watching the fireworks and celebrating with the people in the room, the music, TV, fireworks, cheering etc are loud and you can't hear the phone even if it does ring. DH can just ring her a few minutes later, or 15/20 minutes before.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 14/12/2018 16:49

@ventia - what would happen if you and dh called her at 11.45pm to wish her a happy New Year? Would that head her off at the pass?

WarCat · 14/12/2018 16:50

Poor woman stuck with you as a daughter in law

safetyfreak · 15/12/2018 04:48

What a strange thread. My parents and grandparents both phone me up after midnight to say happy new years!

You do realise the countdown is only for one minute? What is an acceptable time for miss princess here?

Philomensapie · 15/12/2018 06:16

After midnight. Not on the first stroke of the bells. I've never heard of anyone doing that.

MamaDane · 15/12/2018 06:33

I think it's fine to unplug the phone until it's five minutes past midnight. Then perhaps you or your DH should be the one calling her

MamaDane · 15/12/2018 06:36

Or like others have suggested. Call her before and put the phone down while you do the countdown

larrygrylls · 15/12/2018 06:45

i Call bingo on the most overused word on MN: narcissism. And I am not talking about the MIL!

When you are clearly happy with family and friends, then you can take a minute out to answer the phone. For an adult (as opposed to a kiddult, as so many seem to be these days) delaying the champagne two minutes to make someone happy would be irrelevant.

I really hope the OP’s teenage children (in the future) turn off their phones when she is trying to frantically contact her (‘more fun, innit?!’)..

namechangedyetagain · 15/12/2018 07:51

I lost my younger brother this year and my mum has lost her only son. Age 42 and within 4 weeks of diagnosis. What we wouldn't give to have him make a new years phone call to us Sad

For goodness sake get a grip. You never know when it may be your last new year. Life is really too short for this sort of nonsense.

butterflywings37 · 15/12/2018 08:11

My mum used to do this every year - midnight exactly.

She died suddenly 5 years ago - I'd do anything for that call again.

Yabu-you are selfish and controlling, let your dh have these moments as whilst he might not think much now, in the future he will hold tightly to the memories. It's only a few minutes.

Childrenofthesun · 15/12/2018 08:18

Just leave him to answer the phone and carry on with whatever it is that don't want to miss out on.

This. Who are you to control who your DH speaks to? If he doesn't want to speak to her at midnight, get him to call her sometime before than unplug the phone.

explodingkitten · 15/12/2018 08:20

I understand you OP. She is disturbing you and your guests wishibg you a happy new year. It wouldn't be a problem if she called just one minute later.

I really dislike the way MN jumps on someone when they have a complaint about their MIL. A bit more understanding towards DIL's would help massively. And I love my MIL, but nobody is perfect.

cushioncuddle · 15/12/2018 08:22

Why don't you just ask her to call at 12.10 ?
Why be passive aggressive by unplugging the phone?
What happened to chatting to someone first before taking the mean option ?
You sound unpleasant

BertrandRussell · 15/12/2018 08:29

"I really dislike the way MN jumps on someone when they have a complaint about their MIL. A bit more understanding towards DIL's would help massively."

This is one of the funniest posts I have ever read. Grin

limitedperiodonly · 15/12/2018 09:07

She is disturbing you and your guests wishing you a happy new year. It wouldn't be a problem if she called just one minute later.

Quite right. She's only your husband's mum, not anyone important.