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Original poster

MIL calls at stroke of midnight on new years eve every year

139 replies

ventia · 12/12/2018 14:06

yes thats right! If we are at home the phone goes. No idea if she calls the years we are out.

so last year I unplugged phone and will replug 10 mins after midnight.
(she does not call mobiles for some reason)

DH seems oblivious and picks up phone to her.

I have not mentioned it to him, I am sure he would tell her to phone later, if I say something, he seems not to mind, but I do. I would rather unplug her, as it seems so bizarre that she expects to pick up just as most people are raising their glasses. I think she has always done it. She has other kids, but she calls DH at midnight, no idea if or when she calls the others. she is not controlling in other ways

last year when plugged back in, the call came through 10 mins after and she seemed very flustered that she did not come through. BTW she is with her own husband and sometimes other people/neighbours when she does the call, so she is disrupting x2 stroke of midnight glass clinks - bizarre

OP posts:
Original poster
ventia · 12/12/2018 14:45

they come over for christmas some years, not new year, its up to them, I never said she couldnt come, I let them make their own plans between themselves

OP posts:
pfwow · 12/12/2018 14:45

Oh come on, it's obviously surely? People trying to dress it up as the poor put upon MIL who can't speak to her son? Utterly ridiculous with the crackpot pseudo-psycology. It's irritating for the OP, there's a group of them about to say happy new year when the phone rings? Reading some of these comments that suggest that the OP is in some way a massive controlling dick, it's a minor irritation easily solved and MIL can ring five minutes later.

Rhiannon13 · 12/12/2018 14:46

What a cow, thinking of her family at an inappropriate time...

Maybe just don't answer when it rings but call her back a few minutes later?

HeffalumpsDaughter · 12/12/2018 14:47

It’s weird to phone AT midnight, as the bells are donging. That would mean you’d pick it up just after so you wouldn’t be saying ‘Happy New Year’ as the year turned anyway. My dm calls me at about 11.30, then we spend the next 20 minutes on the line as she tries to dial in dbro (who’s always out and never answers which gets dm in a tizz) and dsis (who has lots of small children and is inevitably asleep and thinks the middle of the night call us to tell her someone’s died). Then dm will spend the last few minutes of the year moaning about my siblings and we miss the bit where it ticks over anyway. It’s tradition though. And it’s 20 minutes of the year where I get to be the golden child.

tattyheadsmum · 12/12/2018 14:47

Hmm And why wouldn't they want to come, I wonder?....I bet they feel super-welcome.

theworldistoosmall · 12/12/2018 14:47

I think some people aren't reading correctly.
Mil is the one having parties, and still at midnight decides fuck the people in the room, I'm going to start making calls rather than wishing those here a happy New Year. As a host that's incredibly rude. She really should wait until the celebrations in her own home are finished and then start calling people.
Yes, people call people to say happy New Year, but usually, wait until not only the chimes have finished but also for people in the room to finish telling you/you telling them.

JennieP77 · 12/12/2018 14:50

Nope, this would annoy me, it seems very controlling. Is he an only child? If not I wonder what the priority order of ringing children at 'midnight' is! Your husband should be giving you and your kids (if you have them) a big kiss and a cuddle not running to the clicked fingers of his mother. There is something very strange about mothers and sons, I hope to god I'm not like that!!
And to the others - it would annoy me if it was my mum too.

doodleygirl · 12/12/2018 14:51

I am not disputing how irritating it must be for the OP but why is that relevant. If its not irritating for her DH then just leave them to get on with it.

I am now feeling pretty thankful that my DH isnt so horrible as my DD will ring on the stroke of midnight if she is not with us and I then call my mum.

JennieP77 · 12/12/2018 14:52

I'm 100% with you

lostinjapan · 12/12/2018 14:52

This is such a mean thing to do (unplugging the phone) Sad

You don’t want to talk to her, fine. Just leave the phone to ring and celebrate with your loved ones. But your DH should have a choice whether to answer or not. Why unplug the phone without telling him? It’s a really shitty and controlling thing to do.

Milliy · 12/12/2018 14:52

Its what loved ones do on New Years Eve/day midnight hour. Unless you have an issue with her then I would say its lovely. I do it with my kids.

pallisers · 12/12/2018 14:53

As a host that's incredibly rude. She really should wait until the celebrations in her own home are finished and then start calling people.

Good job she has her dil to police her "incredibly rude" behaviour.

rainbowquack · 12/12/2018 14:53

'they come over for christmas some years, not new year, its up to them, I never said she couldnt come, I let them make their own plans between themselves'Hmm

If it is annoying you, take the bull by the horns and suggest seeing the new year in together.

steff13 · 12/12/2018 14:53

see if DH tells her to call after midnight - guess who MIL will think put him up to it

But, you will have put him up to it. So her thinking would be correct.

Original poster
ventia · 12/12/2018 14:55

no she is not controlling MIL at all - thats why its weird

I am not either btw!!!! believe it or not. I just find it mildly irritating and strange........

no he is not an only child!

I am nice to my MIL and treat well when she visits, so you guys are getting the wrong end of the stick! she wouldnt think I had unplugged her and neither would DH - it would not enter their heads, I do not give of those vibes!!

OP posts:
Ilikeknitting · 12/12/2018 14:57

She wants to wish her son and his family a happy new year. I’m not sure if she is all alone or if you have visited her over the holiday, but honestly, she is not the one who is weird, you are! Why do you feel the need to unplug the phone, why does talking to family at midnight in New Years strike horror into your heart? Wish her a happy new year, tell her you hope this year is better than last year and carry on with your celebrations. (And do try to lighten up, you sound a right miserable bitch)

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 12/12/2018 15:01

Sounds like she’s got her priorities right. Surely connecting with the important people in your life at the turning point of the year is the thing, clinking glasses or watching fireworks are just superficial ways to mark the moment.

Original poster
ventia · 12/12/2018 15:01

no she is not all alone at all. she visits. she has people with her at nw anyway too, at least her own husband if not more.
agree if someone is present in the room, they wish new year at the time

if they are at end of the phone they wait til after midnight

its not a big deal, it does not transfer to the rest of our lives!!! it is not a reflection at all. There is not dislike between us, its fine

OP posts:
Steamedbadger · 12/12/2018 15:03

Are you very young Ventia? It's the bit about it being more 'fun' to unplug the phone. You just sound rather petty tbh.

ifonly4 · 12/12/2018 15:04

OP, I totally understand that you want to see the New Year in and perhaps raise a toast together without interruptions. New Year good wishes can be made after the chimes. She obviously wants to celebrate with her DS more than her DH though. None of our parents have contacted us until the next morning to say Happy New Year, but it sound like we're the unusual ones.

Just wonder if it's worth phoning her at 11.30pm for a general chat and perhaps dropping a hint about how you're seeing the New Year in.

DonaldDucksTowel · 12/12/2018 15:05

This is really weird

Fink · 12/12/2018 15:05

Not only do I not see what the problem is with a mother wanting to wish her son a happy new year is, particularly since you say he picks up and talks to her so I don't really see how it affects you at all other than that you hear a phone ringing ...

but, seriously, New Year is not a big feast for most people. It's an excuse to have a bit of a party, there's no real significance to it other than a number on the calendar. Maybe neither your MIL nor your DH realise that you seem to invest it with more meaning than the vast majority of people. Then it would be up to you to tell them.

nothinglikeadame · 12/12/2018 15:08

It's really cool now to say how much you hate NYE, but I guess I was ahead of my time because I have never liked it.

The thought of being phoned up by someone at midnight is so cringy to me.

Jools Hollands Hootnanny , recorded in September, is the ultimate in fake NYE jollity

Fashionista101 · 12/12/2018 15:08

I've not read this whole thread but when I was 15 my best friend lost her mum to a short battle with cancer. 3 weeks later was NYE and we were at a house party, I found her in the airing cupboard listening to her mums voicemail over and over.

Grow up.

Original poster
ventia · 12/12/2018 15:08

got a feeling she has a thing about new year, so not 11.30. but I reckon a call at after 12 is good idea...

ok thinks for opinions, didnt think I would get so many answers!!!

OP posts:
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