NC just in case.
So, a bit of background.
Christmas has always been a lovely occasion in my family. I come from a working-class home, the type where family was the most important thing. We never had loads of money and lived in a terraced house on a council estate (although my parents did own it). There were several years growing up when my parents didn't really have the money to buy us gifts, so we got some hand-me-downs or homemade gifts (which, tbh, were pretty amazing - my dad actually made my brothers petrol go-karts out of old lawnmower parts one year), and we were none the wiser, honestly.
Coming from a Catholic family, we focused on the Nativity at home, but family was a huge part of our tradition. Mum had a lovely artificial tree and we weren't allowed to put it up until everyone was all together. We decorated it while singing carols, drinking hot chocolate (mum had a vodka and coke - now that I'm in charge of my own decorations, I understand why), and reminiscing about all the "special" decorations we had (e.g. "great aunt so-and-so bought us this when she went to Eurodisney).
The day itself usually passed in a flurry of excitement. We went to mass in the morning, opened presents, watched whatever Christmas movie was on TV (usually The Muppets Christmas carol), went for a family walk to see all the lights, and then sat down to dinner with my aunt and cousins who always spent at least part of the day with us.
Even now, when my brothers and I are all grown up and out of the house, we still have the same attitude toward Christmas. A huge amount of thought goes into gifts - we don't really care about cost, but it's always clear that we've thought about the recipient. My parents are still massively generous, especially toward charities etc, and have instilled in me that Christmas is a time to put selfishness aside and be as generous as you possibly can - not just with money, but with your time and your love as well. On the years we spend Christmas with them, DH is always amazed by how lovely it is.
That's probably because his family have a different idea of Christmas - and life in general, really. He grew up in a wealthy family. Seven bedroom home, several foreign holidays a year, tuition to pass exams lest he bring the family to shame. In laws are now retired and mention how broke they are every time we see them. They don't behave as though they are - still take regular foreign holidays (3 or 4 per year), MIL always buying new designer handbags, etc.
But when it comes to Christmas, they are really miserly, and it seems they've always been this way. Their only tradition appears to be getting a real Christmas tree, which they then didn't decorate. I gave them a lovely artificial one a few years ago, as they were complaining about the cost of the real one. Went to put it up and they didn't even have lights to put on it. I had to go out and get some. They do use the tree and the lights every year now.
When it comes to gifts - and I don't want to sound grabby - they are shocking. E.g. a couple of years back, DH and I both got soap on a rope. MIL always wants quite specific gifts from us (e.g. a particular designer purse), which we always get because we know it will make her happy. But it almost seems as though she goes out of her way to buy daft gifts that she knows we won't like.
Also, their Christmas day always consists of a long, luxury dinner (TBF they work very hard on this, but we always contribute something significant such as the turkey or ham), followed by an hour-long argument about which board game to play, culminating in SIL throwing a huge tantrum (she is mid-20s and still storms out of a room for attention), everyone else getting told off by MIL for upsetting her, and then everybody sitting down to watch a movie with chocolates, while MIL tells everyone off for their unhealthy diets (she'll be eating the sweets as well, though). We get home late and in a bad mood and DH usually goes straight to bed with a headache.
I'm pregnant with my first this year and I just don't think I can cope with it. Would it be awful to barricade my doors and just spend Christmas with DH and the cat?