Poncetastic 2017

[Annwithnoe]

Since there doesn't seem to be a poncetastic thread, and to avoid confusion with thread titles, would I be out of order to start this one?

First order of business, a toast to our dearly missed Fellatio Nelson, wherever she may be and a quote from her original thread:

^
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

^

Ooh I love a good Pinterest board. Sharing is caring

Thanks no word but that link 'does not exist' when I click on it! What did you search for?

Bugger. Retro Christmas lights. Narrowed down to buy it now to limit options!

m.ebay.co.uk/itm/200-Traditional-Indoor-Retro-Vintage-Christmas-Fairy-Lights-Multi-Coloured-/253133964967?epid=1405082096&hash=item3aeff5c6a7%3Ag%3ARiMAAOSwQTNZrT5u&_trkparms=pageci%253A79aabdd7-a46e-11e7-a9df-74dbd180253a%257Cparentrq%253Ac96e56fb15e0aca4ad7be829ffdbb3c8%257Ciid%253A10

Link worked for me first time

Gosh, so evocative though! Like being six again all of a sudden.

Aww, I love this thread. Thanks for starting it, Ann. for Fellatio Nelson, and for Badger & her DH.

I am in foreign for Xmas this year, so will be poncing in a very limited way... Mainly by making the house look like Santa's grotto. Last year I decorated the top of every internal door with mini garlands which looked rather nice! They had tinsel incorporated (contentious I know) so I can't claim it looked poncetastic, but it definitely looked festive!!

Oh I love this thread last year we had no furniture so the closest I got to poncing was putting a very smart bow tie on the dog. This year I’m going all out! I’ve ordered my cards from DM who lets me pick from her Pinterest. I come by poncing honestly!

Tooth I love the mildly offended but resigned expression on his face.

I think bowtie on dog is definitely a sub-genre of poncetastic - kitschponcetastic perhaps?

@elQuintoConyo That's my doors sorted thanks. The previous owners of our house had a thing for gloss (luckily they saved the jaundice yellow gloss for the stairs) and half of them are still white. I think ds will love waking up on the 1st of December to discover all the white doors are snowmen.

tooth oh my goodness! I can't cope with the level of cuteness your gorgeous dog has!

mona I love garlands and tinsel, sounds very nice indeed. Last year we got a tree for the kitchen so I'm going to take that one and have my red and gold sparkly theme, but give the living room one to DH. He loves the kitsch style so we'll go all out!

Thanks Badger he’s a cutie.

Lila this year I’m getting him a bespoke tartan tweed one to really dial up the kitschponce!

I’m very interested in the pine cone firestarters for my log burner.

You can get those pinecone things that change the colour of the flames too they are always a hit in our house!

I have decided I am making a proper Bûche de Noël this year complete with marron glacé!

Too exhausted to ponce today because I stayed up to late last night looking at Pinterest boards. Pinning is like poncing but without the work.
Slightly worried that pinecone fire starters will leave a waxy mess behind in a wood burning stove that I'll be expected to clean up Has anyone used them for this (successfully) or should I befriend some outdoorsy bonfire-building types who will fully appreciate my poncetastic efforts?

Still waiting for the rain to stop so I can go and find pinecones

Pinning is like poncing but without the work.

AMEN.

Apologies if I've missed the info but I have a bag full of pinecones AND a log burner.. I really need to know how to make the pinecones into Firestarters? We have just thrown them in as they are and they burn very well

leesmum they are basically wax coated pinecones with a wick. Some dip the cones in wax a couple of times, others melt wax in a muffin tin and put the pinecones on top. You can add colour and scented oil to the wax too.
somethingturquoise.com/2014/12/12/diy-pinecone-fire-starter-favors/
www.katescreativespace.com/2012/10/19/homemade-pinecone-firelighters/

I'm not sure about wax in the wood burner. It's probably OK, but it seems a bit pointless as you won't see it burning as the doors will be closed, therefore no smell of scent either, and seems like a bit of a faff for what is effectively a firefighter. We use only wood in our burner, and very occasionally coal/smokeless if it's very cold (it's a multi fuel) so I've never tried it. The plain dried fir cones would be excellent kindling if they are dry though.

Our friends fight over our apple tree trimmings for wood burners (and the rosemary when we took it out in favour of holly) so some smell must get out.

I don't know much about it as we buy ours in, but you should only use dry wood (no sap) so unless the actual wood is scented then probably not much scent. Pine etc the smell comes from the sap, surely? Plus the wood burner is a closed, sealed unit with air coming in but not out. The air goes through the fire and up out the chimney, no smoke goes into the room (obviously). Open fires, maybe, but a wood burner should really only smell outside. Fwiw if you're outside you can smell the wood burning, so it does smell, and some different woods smell nicer than others.

I'm no expert on this btw. It just seems a bit of a faff and a waste of wax/pine cones/ fragrances to just burn them and send it out the chimney! Some scented items around the hearth will fill the room with more fragrance as the warmth wafts the scent around. Even those fake Christmas scented sticks that make the Christmas tree smell were lovely by our burner last year.

Thank you Ann

to Badgers and MrB.

Raising a to Fellatio, wherever she is; 'May her days be merry and bright'...

'Christmas-Jul' board here.

'Holiday Craft Inspiration' here on Pinterest.

I aim for restrained Scandinavian elegance but leaving things to the last minute makes it all look more sparsely scarcely decorated than restrained, and the opposite of elegant. There is a fine line...

I also really have to figure out what to do with the Easter Bunny figure that has been gracing my mantelpiece since Easter. I can't put my forced bulbs on the dining room table where I want them because they are poisonous to the cat afaik so I will need the mantelpiece.

After due consideration I'm abandoning Project Pyro-Pinecone. Or simplifying: it's definitely within the dc's poncing capabilities to collect, clean, dry and scent pinecones, and arrange in a basket with a battery run string of fairy lights (warm obviously). So they should burn well, look pretty and smell Christmassy for Grandad.

I haven't quite decided what to do with the beeswax instead ....

@Annwithnoe there are some great projects making your own reusable cling film with beeswax and fabric. They looked simple- from memory you basically pop the fabric Ina tray in the oven with the bees wax on a low heat then take it out. Other people used an iron.

Environmentally friendly and you could do Christmassy fabric and use it to wrap Christmas food in.

here is one of many examples of bees wax wrap from Pinterest

I made Christmas pudding vodka today and will be doing the cake next weekend. Thats about as far as I've got. Where do you all find the time???

I've got some beeswax too....unused naturally like all my craft purchases. I think I bought it as an ingredient in something like a lip balm - but I'll check when I get home.

Cookiefiend that is perfect. I was just wondering where to get exactly that for the kids lunch boxes. And I've got some nice Christmassy fabric.