Poncetastic 2017

[Annwithnoe]

Since there doesn't seem to be a poncetastic thread, and to avoid confusion with thread titles, would I be out of order to start this one?

First order of business, a toast to our dearly missed Fellatio Nelson, wherever she may be and a quote from her original thread:

^
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

^

Greetings all! Apologies for missing the ponce wagon!

Poncing this year includes
Hampers - as always, will post the big looong list later i think there are about 30 items on there, I make about 15 hampers
Christmas Cocktail Party - this year's theme is "Apres Ski"
Round Robin Cook Book - I self publish through blurb.com
Ballet - off to see the nutcracker with DMum and DAunt
A christmas wassail - an evening of mulled things, carols and festive readings
Many National Trust properties
Some additions to my home made decs
Re-styling the upstairs tree - currently red and white "candy cane lane" will be going for more of a "winter palace" look

We're fully paid up NT members so will be doing the rounds and nicking poncetastic ideas. I'll take photos if I spot anything worth recreating.

I'm going to trawl through my fabric stash later. I quite fancy making some poncy napkins to go in my poncy holders.

Is Pinterest worth joining?

Hooray I have been leant a DS by a poster called EvilDoctor. What could possibly go wrong?

Ooh if anyone in London fancies poncing at the Royal Opera House, you can get £9 tickets in the really cheap seats if you book early enough. Went to see Der Rosenkavalier on 22 December last year, it was fabulously christmassy.

I'm a huge fan of Pinterest. It's free and doesn't spam you much (sends emails if you haven't logged on for a bit, suggesting things you might like).

It's a bit like keeping lists, and you can keep them separate so e.g. I have a Halloween board and a Christmas board and a midweek dinners board and a crochet board etc etc. Some clever algorithm says "hmm, MrsH saved this pin about Christmas poncing so she'll probably like this pin about Christmas poncing too" and sure enough I do.

You can also follow other people's boards or entire accounts so that the algorithm knows to show you when they add Ten Ways With Pine Cones and Fairy Lights to their poncetastic board.

If you like Christmas pudding ice cream you'll like Christmas pudding fudge.

When* you make your Christmas pudding, retain some of the soaked fruit. Make normal vanilla fudge. Before you take it out of the pan, fold in the soaked fruit, then process as usual.

Oops, footnote.

• I say when because this is Poncetastic. If "if" applies, buy a single portion Christmas pudding and crumble that in instead.

Oh I love a good ponce, to fellatio

This year I am attempting the graphgan c2c crochet Xmas blanket it is doing my bloody head in already for DD

And will be making chocolate orange Christmas pudding covers for school. I may knit a few fererro novelty covers too.

Quint I am now doing a snowman too, that will be brill on our front step.

Especially as we now live in a naice part of town after the other years kicked in pumpkin episode

I chimed in on this thread yesterday. I was all excited. I couldn't wait to start doing things. Then at some point overnight I remembered the tree is in the loft still decorated and draped with a sheet to save time this year. I fear this isn't the thread for me after all.

Enjoy your poncing.

Honey Comb
Yoghurt Cranberries
Christmas Spice Liqueur
Cranberry and Tangerine Vodka
Cranberry Gin
Vanilla Vodka
Salted Caramel Vodka
Ginger Vodka
Chilli and Seed Crackers
Lemon and Thyme Crackers
Shortbread
Truffles
Apricot Almond White Buttons
Cranberry Pistachio Milk Buttons
Ginger Macadamia Dark Buttons
Coffee Fudge
Smokey Spiced Mixed Nuts
Mexican Cacao Spiced Nuts
Nut Brittle
Layered Peppermint Bark
Vanilla Fudge
Chilli Jelly
Chilli Lime Chutney
Indian Spiced Courgette Chutney
Yellow pepper and Ginger jelly
Plum Chutney
Winter Fruit Spice Jelly
Chai Tea Jelly
Cauliflower pickle
Celery Pickle
Radish Pickle
Chilli Pickle
Herb rub
Curry Spice Mix
BBQ Spice Rub

Hamper Inventory 2017

Show beware pinterest. It is like falling down a rabbit warren of time.

Badger - read thread properly now

Hairspray - re honeycomb, how far in advance and how do you store/treat it? In my experience it's a devil for melting/dissolving in even remotely damp air.

Will share my hamper list anon when I'm at home (currently stuck on a broken train).

Oh lawks Badger I'm so sorry to have previously skimmed your post and missed one crucial word. Very best wishes for a gloriously poncetastic Christmas memorable for all the right reasons.

i got a copy of the Sarah raven book for £1 in tkmaxx last year. looking forward to using it for inspiration this year.

Last Christmas was rubbish for us as our house sale fell through the day before we moved, but our house purchase had to go ahead as we'd signed missives (Scotland) therefore too late to call off the movers. We'd have preferred to have stayed in our old house for Christmas but the buyers were insistent they wanted in before Christmas.

So we had a bit of a miserly Christmas while paying two mortgages etc and furniture split between two houses.

This year I'm going full on ponce!

would it be too much to have wreaths on the front door, the porch door and the back door?!

for the badger family.

Re-read thread (too excited). Realised I had not read it well the first time. Badger and Mr Badger - hope you have a really lovely (and poncetastic) Christmas.

Trixy 3 wreaths sounds fine to me. I am debating some felt ones for internal doors. Going to have my first go at one for the front door with greenery from the garden. We have masses of ivy. And a holly tree, so off to a good start.

Phew- I have been looking for this thread for days. I need to go on the nursery run just now, but look forward to a read through later.

Badger So sorry, that will teach me for jumping in and posting without RTFT

MrsH Honeycomb I make a week or so before once cooled I put them immediately into the treat bags I gift with and seal, Store them in the spare room so no one breathing etc to add moisture to the air.

So many lovely ideas!

Has anyone made pinecone fire starters? DPs have a new wood burning stove. I'm thinking of dipping them (the pinecones not the parents) in melted beeswax, perhaps adding some essential oil.
I have a cold and no sense of smell so I can't decide what oils will work well with beeswax which has its own distinctive scent. Something Christmassy but is cinnamon becoming cliche?
And then there's the possibility of coloured wax instead.
Or dipping them, a la Martha, in salts to produce different coloured flames (in my head I'm thinking that it will look like a light sprinkling of snow)
I'm over thinking myself into poncing paralysis.

Mr and Mrs Badger: may you have a wonderful Christmas

Yes, I have to admit I skimmed too and missed the full extent of your post badger. Hope you and Dh have a magical Christmas in spite of your tragic news.

Matalan have Christmas gubbins in, just a bit. I bought their reindeer Scene light box last year and it was beautiful, this year they have more intricate ones. I do love a reindeer or two. My card blanks have arrived for my grown-ups cards, I bought tiny (A7 size?) brown cards, think they are for wedding rsvps actually, and am going to make a very simple scene using my pressed fern leaves as trees. It seems early to start but I always always leave these things too late and never finish them. I'd love to make a wreath as a pp mentioned up thread, I'd never considered doing a class.

If anyone lives near Evesham, there is a new craft shop at the country park and they do a whole programme of craft workshops with loads of Christmas things going on from October onwards, I am tempted by a few of the sessions!

Thanks Hairspray. I was wondering if doing chocolate dipped (fully covered) would have better longevity.

Maybe I'd better do a trial now, just in case

Ann I bought the cinnamon scented ones last year, a sack of about 25 from the garden centre. They were very heavily scented, in fact our loft smells all Christmassy because they are up there! You could pop a few in the log burner I suppose, but in my experience the log burner seems to burn through any scent pretty rapidly. I used them in a garland on the mantle and the heat from the burner made the scent fill the room. I go love that heavy sweet cinnamon smell although it is a total Christmas cliche!

Pi terest is amazing love it, was surprised to read Diane keaton loves it too!!

Can I join in? First Christmas hosting since I became a parent and I want it to be amazing, glittery and wonderful. Ds will be almost 3 by December and it's likely my Father's last Christmas ( Cancer which absolutely sucks - you and your DH have my sympathies Badger) so I want it to be memorable and as a fabulous as I can manage. We have some fairly established routines as my Mother is very much a creature of habit but I want to add a few twists of my own.

Today Ds and I made a Christmas Fairy door with lots of glue, stickers and sparkles. Next week we'll get started on the hand print decorations (thinking Christmas trees with finger print baubles) and cards (robins maybe).

I'm definitely borrowing the snowman idea, I wanted to decorate his play house/the patio it's on and that will go perfectly especially since I think we're too close to the sea to get snow until the whole country is blanketed.

I've got Turkish delight vodka in the larder although that might not last til Christmas. Mincemeat and cake are the list to make as well Snowman bark, mint creams and spicy red cabbage.

Luckily it's lovely and foggy/autumnal outside so there is nothing better than staying in and crafting/cooking/planning.

Ooooh, Turkish delight vodka. That sounds a good plan. I've got 2 litres of sloe gin ( sloes picked from the garden for extra ponce value!) and litre of the hairy bikers Christmas Pudding Vodka on the go.
I made a batch of gluten dairy free mince pies today and froze them straight away so I couldn't eat them.